[nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating
Chris Nusbaum
dotkid.nusbaum at gmail.com
Sat Sep 8 22:37:12 UTC 2012
I can confirm what Beth and Desiree have said, as I myself am a
teenager and am in high school. Sex often is brought up at the
lunch table and in other social settings, and I believe it is
important for us to know the truth about it. Please see my more
detailed message from last night with the subject "adult
discussions and high school students."
Chris
----- Original Message -----
From: Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing
list<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Fri, 07 Sep 2012 21:45:04 -0600
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating
I've been overprotected till I met my ex, and then the sexual
question came up. High schoolers need to know these things
because teenagers often ask these questions about sex and stuff.
Beth
----- Original Message -----
From: SA Mobile <loneblindjedi at samobile.net
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Fri, 7 Sep 2012 21:13:29 -0500
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating
His question is appropriate in my opinion so long as things don't
get graphic. Blind people struggle with these questions as much
as anyone, maybe more because of the misperception that we are
aesexual and/or are not capable of making these decisions. Some
of us are overprotected to the point where these questions become
central when we finally experience true autonomy for the first
time.
Koby, do you feel ready for sex? What does that activity mean for
you and do you feel your relationship is at that level of
meaning? You don't have to answer publicly, it's just something
to consider.
Respectfully,
Jedi
Sent from my iPhone
On 07/09/2012, at 8:46 PM, Joshua Lester
<JLester8462 at PCCUAEDU.onmicrosoft.com> wrote:
Koby: this is off topic, especially since there are high
schoolers on here.
Thanks, Joshua
________________________________________
From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] on
behalf of Koby [kobycox at gmail.com]
Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 8:42 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Cc: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating
All,
What should I do If this girl wants to have sex when I see her?
Koby
Sent from my iPhone
On Sep 6, 2012, at 12:53 AM, Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com
wrote:
Hi, Arielle and all,
Jason is the love I thought I'd never have. YEs, we get on
each other's nerves. YEs, he argues with me sometimes, but
people call him no good, bad, really stupid, whuatever you say
they say it about him. I think Jason has a sweet side to him. I
love Jason so much and we met in June. His mom was able to pay
for the flight, but I'm afraid she won't this December or so.
I'm trying to make it easy for her to pay for it again so I can
be down there with him. I want Jason to know that just because
he's blind, heart issues and all that, that doesn't mean that his
life is over. HE can marry, he can have a relationship, he can
have kids if he so desires, and he may engage in sex if that's
whuat he wants. Some men are nervous about sex and
relationships, even Jason. But with the help of my coaxing and
calm manner, he was able to enjoy himself with me. At least he
doesn't engage in the trade of child porn and other inappropriate
things that sighted men would engage in. He has a
good sense of right and wrong. He loves chocolate for
breakfast. (hee hee), though I prefer eggs myself. If I look
back and turn the clock back, I see that I have not made a bad
choice as some are led to believe. Honestly, I have insecurity
issues, and I see myself at fault for a stupid email I sent to
his mother because I was truly upset at sommething he did that
was really inappropriate and I don't want to share with this
list. I love Jason no matter what he does to me or whuaft I do
to him. All I can do is say that it's emotionally trying not
having Jason near me, but this relationship is good when the
winds of good fortune blow in our direction. Arielle, Im glad at
least you have a good boyfriend. Btw, for all of us, how can I
make up with Jason's family without sending an email? I really
want to see him again, and supposedly his mom resents me for
sending that email. That's the only thing about the relationship
that I don't like very much.
Beth
----- Original Message -----
From: Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Wed, 5 Sep 2012 23:01:32 -0600
Subject: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating
Hi all,
Cindy, I generally agree with you about keeping this list to
blindness-related discussions. However, I do think
long-distance
dating issues like the one Koby brought up are perhaps more
relevant
to us blind students than they are for sighted students,
especially
those of us who are involved in the NFB. This is because, for
many
reasons, some of us want to date other blind/NFB people and
because
our community is so spread out, we may often end up in similar
situations where we have to decide if we want to enter a
long-distance
relationship with someone we know from this community. So I'd
like to
offer a brief response on-list and hope that others in similar
situations might find it helpful.
During college I was in a long-distance relationship with
someone I
met through NFB for about a year. In hindsight I do not regret
that
decision at all. I had fun, learned a lot and he and I are
still
friends. I will also say that parts of it were emotionally very
hard
to deal with--in my particular case an airplane ticket between
my
location and his cost nearly $500 and we did not see each other
for
five months, which was emotionally trying at times. I do not
think I
would do another long-distance relationship and my current
boyfriend
and I will be making an effort to ensure we will not have to be
living
in separate places for any length of time. However, again, I
enjoyed
the one experience I had overall and learned a lot from it. I
think if
you and this girl really like each other and you can find a way
to see
each other on a somewhat regular basis, there's no harm in
trying and
you can always decide later on to just be friends. However, it
is
something to give a little serious thought to before you make
that
kind of commitment. You also want to talk with her and make
sure
that
the two of you have similar expectations for how serious of a
relationship this will be and how often you will be able to see
each
other. It will be hard if one of you is much more enthused
about
the
relationship than the other. But if the two of you are
generally
on
the same page and are really committed to it, it can be fun.
Hope this helps,
Arielle
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