[nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health

Sat Sep 8 22:37:20 UTC 2012

Hi Brandon,

That's interesting! I wonder what a doctor touching somebody has 
to do with the patient's blindness? Well, I guess it's just one 
of those misconceptions about blindness that we can't even 
comprehend or figure out the logic for.

Chris

 ----- Original Message -----
From: "Brandon Keith Biggs" <brandonkeithbiggs at gmail.com
To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list" 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Sat, 8 Sep 2012 10:36:08 -0700
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health

Hello,
Thank goodness my father was a nurse and when I turned 18, he 
said addio to
being in with me at the doctor.  I do find it amusing though that 
some
doctors are actually really uncomfortable touching me because I'm 
blind...
That only happened after my dad started leaving the room.
Thank you Arielle for those websites.  I don't feel that condoms 
are
something I want to buy from a website I've never heard of before 
unless
someone I know has gotten or knows that site is trust worthy.
I was told that flavored condoms were only to be used in oral 
intercourse.
The same is not for lube I presume?
Also, has anyone ever gone into a sex store? How was it as a 
blind shopper?
Even from sighted people I hear the experience is often not 
pleasant.
Thanks,

Brandon Keith Biggs
-----Original Message-----
From: Arielle Silverman
Sent: Saturday, September 08, 2012 10:00 AM
To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Subject: [nabs-l] condoms and Sexual Health

Hi all,
I know the recent discussions about sex and dating are kind of in 
a
gray area as to whether or not they're on-topic for this list, 
since
most of the issues Koby brought up are not really unique to 
blindness.
So if the moderators or Dave feel this is getting too far afield, 
I
will happily respect your judgment.  However, I also think that
Brandon's question about where to get condoms is a legitimate one 
and
that there might be other blind people out here, including 
teenagers,
who have similar concerns about how to get condoms, birth control 
or
sexual health information without a lot of awkwardness or
embarrassment.  It can be particularly difficult if you have to 
depend
on someone else (especially parents) for transportation which can 
make
going to a clinic or drugstore difficult.
There are a few places to buy condoms online, including
www.condomania.com
www.undercovercondoms.com
and
www.condomdepot.com
Believe it or not, they also have some condom choices at
www.amazon.com
If you go to your health center on campus for any reason, it 
shouldn't
be a problem  to ask a doctor or nurse there about condoms.
I cannot answer the questions about when to begin having sex with 
a
partner because that is a highly individual decision.  However, I 
feel
it important that anyone who is considering having sex for the 
first
time ensure you understand what all of your options are for 
preventing
pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, the advantages and
disadvantages of each option, and the proper way to use condoms  
and
birth control.  There are  a couple different websites with this 
kind
of information:
www.plannedparenthood.org
(includes live chat with a sexual health educator) or
www.scarleteen.com
This issue is particularly close to my heart at the moment 
because my
boyfriend's sister just had an unintended pregnancy at a very
inopportune time (while still in college, with a guy she had only
known for a few months) and was apparently taking birth control 
pills,
but had not been taking them consistently.  While I don't believe 
that
sex  should be feared, it is something that takes some 
responsibility,
planning and foresight to ensure it is enjoyable while minimizing 
the
risks.  Also, while I won't go into details here, there are other 
ways
to be physically intimate with someone that are less risky, which
these online forums will talk about.
I also want to bring up  an issue that is somewhat relevant to 
sexual
health, which I experienced and I think that some of you might 
also be
struggling with.  This is the issue of having your parents drive 
you to
doctors' appointments and then having them want to sit in or even
participate in your appointments.  Since I attended college in my 
home
city, my mother always wanted to drive me to my doctors' 
appointments
and would then want to come in and chat with the doctor while 
he/she
was examining me.  This was partly because my parents and I saw 
many of
the same doctors and she often thought it was a good opportunity 
to
ask the doctor a quick question about her own health while she 
was
there, or because she was curious to see what the doctor 
recommended
to me about a particular issue.  I eventually realized that while 
it
wasn't ill-intentioned, it was a violation of my privacy as an 
adult
patient and I asked her to wait in the waiting room while I was 
seeing
the doctor.  I didn't actually take this stand until I was 21 and 
in
hindsight I wish I had done  it much earlier.  By the time you 
are 18,
unless you have a serious cognitive disability, you have a right 
to
privacy of your medical information and it is important to 
establish a
good doctor-patient relationship without a third person 
interfering.
This is especially true when it comes to sexual health and by the 
time
you are 18 or even 16, you will want to start discussing your 
sexual
activities or questions with your doctors without your parents 
being
around.  You might also want to consider getting a driver or even
taking the bus to medical appointments to avoid this problem.
On a related note, by the time you are in high school, you should 
know
the names of all medications you take on  a regular basis and any
chronic medical conditions you may have.  If you ever have to go 
to the
emergency room, this kind  of information may be requested of 
you.
Best,
Arielle

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