[nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

Sun Sep 9 20:32:32 UTC 2012

Desiree,
I have created a list on GoogleGroups before and it was very
accessible. A GoogleGroup administrator can also control who can join
the list, if we are concerned about age restrictions or at least not
letting in those who don't have an established link to the blindness
community. The moderator should also have the power to kick someone
off the list if they are using it for inappropriate purposes,
particularly if they are communicating in inappropriate ways with
teens.
If you want to set such a list up on GoogleGroups, I would be willing
to help moderate. I would probably want to expand the upper age limit
a bit beyond 21, so that older blind folks who have more experience
and perspective with these issues can provide advice to younger ones.
Arielle

On 9/9/12, Desiree Oudinot <turtlepower17 at gmail.com> wrote:
> On 9/9/12, wmodnl wmodnl <wmodnl at hotmail.com> wrote:
>> I think this discussion calls for a new list.  A list for discussing
>> these
>> topics in the open.  Maybe, we can offer a FAQ page, with a search area
>> for
>> people to locate educational material, and local centers in there area.
>> Finally, if I remember, there are confidential hotlines that individuals
>> can
>> call through local hospitals to ask these questions.  Dave, what do you
>> think about the idea for adding a list for this topic?  We see a need for
>> it, and a demand for correct information.
>>
>> Sent from my iPad
>>
>> On Sep 8, 2012, at 10:57 PM, "David Andrews" <dandrews at visi.com> wrote:
>>
>>> I don't know what the norms are at health centers, they didn't offer
>>> birth
>>> control stuff when I was in school, back in early 70's.  You could go to
>>> drugstore, and ask, what I always did.  And -- for what it's worth, I
>>> remember some of my sighted fraternity brothers agonizing over how to
>>> procure condoms.  And ... then there was the famous scene in  the movie
>>> The Summer of '42.
>>>
>>> Dave
>>>
>>> At 10:39 PM 9/7/2012, you wrote:
>>>> Hello,
>>>> Bring a condom... I still haven't heard about condoms being offered in
>>>> High schools, but Colleges do have free Condoms and lube in their
>>>> health
>>>> centers.
>>>> I've never gone in to ask for a condom at one of those places, that is
>>>> something I would like to hear experiences from other people on.
>>>> Is there a tactful way of asking for a free condom at a health center?
>>>> I
>>>> can go and ask point blank, but that feels to me like I would be seen
>>>> as
>>>> the horny blind guy. Especially if I came in there every few months...
>>>> Perhaps I can go in for a flue shot and when I finish if there is few
>>>> people there, ask for a tour of the condoms?
>>>> Or do people try and get their friends to go with them and show them
>>>> around? I could also ask my mobility instructor to show me.
>>>> Do people know what would be most socially acceptable?
>>>> It is my opinion that a guy should not even consider having sex unless
>>>> he
>>>> has a condom. It's very much the man's responsibility to make sure he
>>>> has
>>>> protection for his gender.
>>>>
>>>> Does anyone also know of a good website to buy condoms and other things
>>>> off of? I know my parents stopped using condoms before the internet
>>>> really became big because my brother is 16. I doubt they are any help
>>>> there...
>>>
>>>
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> Hi,
> You're right, I think a list for these topics is definitely a good
> idea. There's the Blind Talk mailing list which is for general
> discussion, and I guess things of this nature could be brought up
> there, but I don't think that's the right place for it either. Here
> are my suggestions for the guidelines of such a list that might cater
> more towards young people and provide a comfortable place for these
> discussions:
> 1. Restrict the age of participants so that members must be between
> the ages of 13-21. Although I could see how 13 might be a bit young,
> so perhaps 16 is a better compromise. The reason for the age
> restriction is simple: young people feel more comfortable asking their
> questions and sharing their concerns when there are no "parental" or
> "authority" figures around. Of course, as an exception, the moderator
> of such a list could be whatever age is necessary.
> 2. Discussions that would be appropriate to this new list could
> include, but are not limited to:
> A. dating, sex, and sexual health,
> B. socializing, making friends, and dealing with awkward situations as
> they relate to blindness,
> C. questions related to taking care of oneself such as shaving,
> applying makeup, cutting nails, and other basics of personal care that
> teenagers and young people may want to know about, but have not either
> gone to a training center to learn, or whose parents have protected
> them to the point that they don't know how to do those things and are
> seeking independent guidance, and:
> D. emotional support for dealing with struggles with parents, issues
> of privacy with health care providers and/or family, or any other
> problem that may or may not be related to blindness that affects high
> school or college students that is not related to academic life.
> I see this type of forum as a support group, something like
> teencentral.org, which is a site where teens write in for advice on
> their problems, but of course is not blindness-related. There was also
> the former teenadviceonline.org, which was a wonderful peer-support
> group where teens asked their questions and other teen peer counselors
> responded with advice. There is a definite void that needs to be
> filled for an email list like this. If the NFB won't consider adding
> this idea to its already comprehensive catalog, I must say I'm highly
> considering creating the group myself. I've never moderated an email
> list before, though, so I'm not sure what interfaces are accessible or
> how to use them, like Yahoogroups or Google groups. I'm sure that if
> there actually is interest in this idea, though, I could certainly
> pick one and figure it out.
>
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