[nabs-l] What do I say?

[Kaiti Shelton]

Hi,

That is where Sandra's idea comes in.  My roommates and I use a
similar system when we need to talk aout issues; our's is a "feeling
stick" which usually is my cane lol.  The person who holds it has the
floor and can say what they feel without interruption.  There is no
need to be insulting, just have all parties involved talk it out and
come to a mutual understanding.  It works very well.  I would
recommend having your girlfriend in on the conversation too.

I am also wondering if this is happening to your girlfriend as well.
Maybe there is something between her and the mom that is causing this
that you are unaware of?  I really don't know, but it's a thought, and
that's why it would be good to get your girlfriend in on the
conversation too.  Don't drag her in the middle of it necessarily, but
just have her in on what is going on, since this living arrangement
effects her too.

Try introducing the idea of calm conversation and see what it does.

On 12/3/13, Lavar Phillips <lavarjphillips at gmail.com> wrote:
> I want to talk to her but I don't want her to hate me
>
> Lavar J Phillips
> 5003 48 Street Woodside New York 11377
> Cell # (917) 858 3368
> Twitter lavar1988
> On Dec 3, 2013 12:38 PM, "I. C. Bray" <i.c.bray at win.net> wrote:
>
>> Agreed!
>>
>> Letting her know that you've been doing fine all theese months without
>> her
>> passive-agressive attempt at parenting should do the trick.
>> Granted, it might shock her and make her bitter, but sometimes clueless
>> people need to be put back into their proper place.
>>
>> I. C. Bray
>>
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Carly Mihalakis" <carlymih at comcast.net>
>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>; "List" <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Monday, December 02, 2013 11:48 PM
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] What do I say?
>>
>>
>> :
>> : Hi, Lavar,
>> :
>> : I second what Lilie said, just lay it out. Tell her a little bit
>> : about origins of your personal struggle for independence and self
>> : sufficiency, maybe even say that, inspite of folk trying to be
>> : helpful, you know what works best for you and could she please step
>> aside?
>> : Please call me! 408-209-3239
>> :
>> : /2013, Lavar Phillips wrote:
>> : >Hi everyone
>> : >Since I was 20 years old I have lived on my own and I have gotten so
>> used
>> : >to doing things my way. So last year I moved in with my girlfriend and
>> her
>> : >mom . It was great we all got along  then her mom  went away to
>> California
>> : >and my girlfriend and I were living great. Now  her mom is back for 3
>> : >months and she kinda restricts what I can do  even tho I can
>> cook,clean,
>> : >laundry and shopping . We also argue and I can't stand it  How do I
>> tell
>> : >her nicely that I don't need another mom I have one. Like she
>> questions
>> all
>> : >my actions doesn't let me do things the way I used  to and when I
>> don't
>> do
>> : >anything she yells at me. Am I wrong for just wanting her gone I just
>> want
>> : >things back to normal.
>> : >
>> : >Lavar J Phillips
>> : >5003 48 Street Woodside New York 11377
>> : >Cell # (917) 858 3368
>> : >Twitter lavar1988
>> : >_______________________________________________
>> : >nabs-l mailing list
>> : >nabs-l at nfbnet.org
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>> nabs-l:
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>>  >
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>> :
>> :
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-- 
Kaiti