[nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... advice?

Beth Taurasi denverqueen1107 at comcast.net
Sat Dec 28 00:29:55 UTC 2013


Blocking is the only way to get a harasser off the phone, but there's 
something that blind people most often do not learn.  We are not often 
taught the proper way to deal with sexual advances nor are girls, in 
this case your case, taught to call boys.  My mother had an archaic view 
of girls, the sweet, quiet, shy kind.  Well, I've got bad news for all 
of us: Blake calls me online every day, but I call Blake on some 
occasions.  We have a balance of who calls whom, and Blake is aware of 
my problems.  Perhaps the parents of the girl did not learn what the 
girl might have.  She could be mentally unstable, mentally unable to 
deal with the advancement of others. She could also be creeping your 
friend out because she didn't learn the proper way to deal with boys.  
As for you, she's probably using you, Kaiti, to get to the boy.  Please 
email me off list.  I have some tales to tell you about myself and what 
happened.  Do you have Skype?  I can give you that.
Sincerely,
Beth Taurasi
NFB of Denver/Mile High Chapter,
Denver, Colorado
Skype ID: denverqueen0920

On 12/27/2013 3:29 PM, Kaiti Shelton wrote:
> Hi all,
 >
 > I have quite the puzzling situation on my hands, and I am not quite
 > sure how to handle it.  Thoughts?
 >
 > Almost four years ago my mom and I went to this 3 day seminar for
 > students in the state voc rehab program with visual impairments.
 > This Friday evening to Sunday morning seminar was designed to show
 > students and parents from around the state different employment
 > options that were available, ranging from vending and call center
 > jobs to taking the college route to get a degree in a two or four
 > year program.  A friend of mine and I, who lived close to each other,
 > were hanging out early on.   All of a sudden, this other girl was
 > hanging all over him and would not give him his personal space.  It
 > was very odd, considering that this was a very short period of time
 > in which this all happened.  Less than 24 hours after the students
 > had met, my friend was so creeped out by the almost constant and
 > unwanted attention that he began to avoid this girl.  Other students,
 > seeing how creeped out he was and some creeped out themselves due to
 > the same thing, ended up following suit.
 >
 > I was sixteen at the time, and could feel for my friend.  The girl
 > was very much in my face a lot of the time too, but I was a bit more
 > patient with her throughout the weekend.  She seemed to be worse
 > with the guys than the girls too, so I had a little more space than
 > my friend.
 >
 > About 3 months after the program in the summertime, she started
 > calling my house.  The parents at the program were given a list of
 > the other parents who attended, along with their phone numbers, so
 > they could swap resources if they so chose.  This girl got the list
 > from her parents, and was using it to call me and my friend, possibly
 > other students as well although I am not sure.  The calls started off
 > being about once every so often, then increased.  She was a very odd
 > girl, and liked to complain and cry about her problems to me and my
 > friend. There was nothing social about the calls, just complaining
 > and negativity, and mumbling which was really weird.  He quit talking
 > to her much sooner than I did because I tried to get her to see that
 > being visually impaired, (she didn't like the word blind since she
 > was a large print reader, and kind of used that to elivate herself
 > above other people), was not the worst thing in the world. She would
 > cry and complain, and even tell me I didn't understand how bad
 > things were, when her descriptions of things made it sound like she
 > was very overdramatic.  I decided at the end of my junior year, a
 > year after the calls started coming, that I didn't want to talk to a
 > downer, and that I wasn't going to be able to convince her that
 > blindness didn't mean the end of the world.
 >
 > The girl continued to call.  My senior year was very busy with
 > activities and preparing for college.  I would come home from
 > marching band practices to find my siblings quite frustrated because
 > the girl had kept calling, sometimes as much as 5 or 6 times in a
 > span of a few hours.  They didn't want to answer the phone because
 > whenever someone told her I wasn't home she would instantly get teary
 > and mumble things to herself, and it was very weird, but they didn't
 > want her to continue calling either.  I remember one night over
 > Christmas break of that year, she called and when I told her I was
 > getting ready to leave the house, which I was to go pick up someone
 > coming in from out of town for the holidays with my family, she got
 > angry and wanted me to give her my cell phone number.  I told her
 > that I didn't want to give it out, and she started to get upset.
 > Then I really had to go, and there was the characteristic mumbling.
 >
 > My parents have told me that for the past year and a half that I've
 > been in college that the girl has continued to call.  My mom has
 > told her that I live at school and do not come home much multiple
 > times. My younger siblings, in frustration, have told her that I've
 > moved away and have begun making up different things to tell her to
 > try to discourage her from calling.  She continues to call, and
 > around Christmas it is always terrible.  A few nights ago she called
 > when my parents were asleep a little after  11:00 at night, and has
 > apparently called and left messages late at night before.  My parents
 > have to get up very early for work, so In order to stop the ringing
 > and to prevent a message from playing over the machine I had to
 > answer.  Everything was exactly the same.  I was heading to bed
 > myself, so I told her that I was asleep when she asked for me.  The
 > fact that she had called at such a late hour didn't seem to phase
 > her, there was just the mumbling and usual stuff coming over the
 > line.
 >
 > I don't quite know what to do.  I've tried to be positive with her
 > and that hasn't worked.  My family has told her that I no longer live
 > at home and am away at school among other things in frustration, but
 > nothing seems to phase her.  I know she still calls my friend's
 > house as well, even though he does not live at home any more either.
 > I don't quite know what to do about this.  I barely know her and she
 > barely knows me, and in spite of this I have tried to help her with
 > no success.  My parents and siblings have said that we should just
 > block her calls, but I have hesitated in doing this while I was in
 > high school because I didn't want to be mean, and then I honestly
 > forgot about her for the most part while I was at school last year
 > and last semester because I can't get calls from her there. After
 > the call a few nights ago, I don't really know what to think.  I am
 > slightly creeped out that even after my parents have told her I am
 > not home for the past year and a half that the calls are still
 > coming.  What do you think I should do?
 >
 > -- Kaiti
 >
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