[nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... advice?

Sat Dec 28 12:59:09 UTC 2013

Hi Kaiti,

 From your description of how her parents interact with her, I don't 
think she has a cognitive disability (at least not one serious enough 
to have trouble telling right from wrong). It also sounds like you have 
done everything you can think of to help her. What I am going to 
suggest might sound harsh, but this girl needs to realize you don't 
want her calling you anymore.
The next time she calls your home, whoever picks up--you or a family 
member), should tell her that you have done all you can to help her, 
that you have suggested help lines she can call, and that you cannot 
think of anything else to do for her. Then tell her plainly that she 
must stop calling your home. Tell her that if she continues to call, 
you will not answer the phone (assuming you have a caller ID feature on 
your phone). If you cannot tell who is calling until you answer, tell 
her you will block her number or change yours if she continues to call. 
Remind her of the numbers to call for the help lines, and hang up the 
phone.
However you do it, you need to cut off communication with her. You have 
been patient for two years in high school, and your family has put up 
with her through almost two years of college. You need to move on with 
your life.

Merlyn Hileman

-----Original Message-----
From: I. C. Bray <i.c.bray at win.net>
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sat, Dec 28, 2013 5:49 am
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... 
advice?

Dave,
It is not so much that it is illegal, but that it is potentially 
dangerous
for Kaiti .

Stalking isn't illegal-- except when you have been warned and placed 
under a
court order, but we all agree it is somewhat unnerving.. NO?

I hear where you're coming from, but the point I think is Kaiti is 
beginning
to feel in over her head.

Bless you for being sensitive, Kaiti, but sometimes you have to  be 
firm.

Ian

----- Original Message -----
From: "Dave Webster" <dwebster125 at gmail.com>
To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, December 27, 2013 9:45 PM
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... 
advice?

:I wouldn't go that far.  Per haps her parents know what she's doing.  
I
mean
: it was her parents that gave her the list of people anyhow.  
Authorities
: won't do much sh'es not doing anything that's against the law.
:
: -----Original Message-----
: From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Lillie
: Pennington
: Sent: Friday, December 27, 2013 6:10 PM
: To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
: Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... 
advice?
:
: I hate to suggest this, but have you tried getting in touch with her
parents
: or other authorities in her area? This is sort of an extreme option 
but
you
: may need to take such actions.
:
: Sent from my iPhone
:
: > On Dec 27, 2013, at 8:46 PM, Kaiti Shelton 
<crazy4clarinet104 at gmail.com>
: wrote:
: >
: > Hi,
: >
: > I tried mentioning the idea of getting help to her, and it made her
: > upset.  She can get really mad at me when she thinks that I'm not
: > taking her seriously or are avoiding talking to her.
: >
: > A lot of what she has told me about has been blindness stuff, but
: > there are some odd social tendencies that she has too.  She had some
: > issues with teachers in high school because she said they didn't 
take
: > her seriously and weren't treating her like everyone else, and she
: > also kept telling me that her "blind friends" that she made would 
stop
: > talking to her.  Often she would tell me this while she was crying, 
so
: > I couldn't understand what she was saying about the situation.  Then
: > she told me her parents were going to make her see someone.  This 
was
: > in my senior year of high school.  The last time I actually talked 
to
: > her, things seemed pretty good.  She was saying she got a boyfriend,
: > so I thought things would be going better.
: >
: > If she calls again I will offer her a help line number and see how
: > that goes, but I'm wondering if she will take that advice since she
: > was so opposed to therapy when I mentioned it to her in the past.
: >
: > I do think a lot of her problems stem from a combination of 
blindness
: > issues and some social quirks, but I feel in those areas I've done 
and
: > said all I know to.  I will try this again and see what she does.
: >
: >> On 12/27/13, Dave Webster <dwebster125 at gmail.com> wrote:
: >> Yea.  I still at times don't know how to deal with girls.  I have a
: >> tendency to move too fast at times when it comes to relationships. 
 I
: >> don't mean to embarrass you or anything but I also have a bit of a
: >> strange fettish which I've struggled with my whole life.  I've 
tried
: >> to tlak to therpists about it but I've noto been able to get them 
to
: >> help with it.  They don't want to touch it when it comes to talking
: >> about it.  So.
: >>
: >> -----Original Message-----
: >> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Beth
: >> Taurasi
: >> Sent: Friday, December 27, 2013 4:53 PM
: >> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
:
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