[nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... advice?

Arielle Silverman arielle71 at gmail.com
Sat Dec 28 16:33:56 UTC 2013


Hi Kaiti,
I think your plan is a good one. I am not in favor of blocking calls
from people or notifying a third party unless the situation is really
serious enough to cause significant harm. This girl's calls sound
obnoxious and difficult but don't constitute direct harm to you or
your family members. In my experience being straightforward with
people has always worked best, and is much better than doing things
behind someone's back. Decide what your boundaries are, communicate
them clearly to her and reiterate them if she attempts to cross them.
She may have no idea that her calls are unwanted and then feel
betrayed if she is suddenly blocked from calling you. Some people just
need to be told in very clear terms that they have crossed a line. You
can always decide to let her call go to voice mail if you are
genuinely too busy or otherwise unable to handle the strong emotional
content at the time she calls, then call her back later when you have
more time and energy to work with her. As for your parents and
siblings, perhaps it's reasonable for them to screen out any calls
that come in for you while you are away at school, including calls
from her. They can give you the messages and then you can decide if
you want to talk to her or just let the calls go.
Best,
Arielle

On 12/28/13, I. C. Bray <i.c.bray at win.net> wrote:
> Justin, & Joe...
>
>
> Am I sencing sarcasm here, or are you two genuinely expressing approval?
>
> Justin, What discussion group would that be?
> "Blind Sexuality" GRIN
> or
> "Blind Fettish" ROFL
>
> Joe,
> "COLORFUL"... is that "Republican Code" for something else?
> SMILE.
>
> Cheers!
> Ian.
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "justin williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
> To: <jsoro620 at gmail.com>; "'National Association of Blind Students mailing
> list'" <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Saturday, December 28, 2013 9:33 AM
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... advice?
>
>
> : I'm sensing another discussion group forming...  Grin.
> :
> : -----Original Message-----
> : From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Joe
> : Sent: Saturday, December 28, 2013 9:30 AM
> : To: 'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'
> : Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... advice?
> :
> : Hahaha, I hate pointless messages about as much as you do, but in my
> : relatively short return to the NABS list, the message below was the most
> : hilarious one so far. I'm really trying not to make this a waste of your
> : time to read, especially in light of the serious topic, but nothing I
> could
> : write could top the carefree writing below. It made a Republican grin,
> and
> : that's saying something. A bit bold, but there are nuggets of wisdom in
> : Ian's colorful contribution.
> :
> : -----Original Message-----
> : From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of I. C. Bray
> : Sent: Saturday, December 28, 2013 6:30 AM
> : To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> : Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... advice?
> :
> : Dave, I'll tell you mine, if you tell me yours? ( smiley )
> :
> : I am, of course only being fun & trying to relax the conversation.
> :
> : To everyone,
> :
> : Regardless of whatever fetishes you have, sexuality and intimacy, are
> : definitely separate.
> : Personality is key to Chemistry between people.
> : I don't care how "HOT" or a person is, if you can't talk to them be
> genuine
> : and share humor, then you aren't going to make it in the bedroom or
> : relationship... unless of course, the relationship is ONLY about sex.
> :
> : If SEX really  is the only basis of the relationship, then fetishes
> should
> : come out early, otherwise, you have to sneak them in... slowly.
> :
> : Speaking from experience?  YES I AM.  I try not to make my personal &
> : private life this public, but it sounds like there is an open forum here
> : with people who want perspective... I have some to share... you all are
> : welcome to it.
> :
> : My best friend is a two-degreed Psycology Graduate who tought sex edd and
> : does tons of comunity outreach.
> : I have other friends who are Psychiatric doctors.   This subject is a
> : progressive one and it often doesn't get the benefit of being discussed
> : without shame, or embarrassment.
> :
> : The thing that has my neck hair really raising is the borderline
> personality
> : trait of not respecting boundaries, and the mumbling to one's self.
> : Sexuality, as we all know is key to some personal identity.  It creates
> : films like Psycho, and Blue Velvet and The Graduate and even Risky
> Business.
> :
> : advice:
> : Someone professional should be notified regarding this person in the
> hopes
> : that as a professional, they can investigate and prevent any escallation.
> : I think blocking the number is, at this point, not a bad idea.
> : For those of you who have fetishes, I think they are healthy and once you
> : get over the initial uniqueness  and fear of shame or embarrassment, you
> : should let your freak flag fly.
> : We all have our turn-ons and offs.  I do too!  Find a website that is
> based
> : upon your intrests & fetishes  and make friends is what I'll tell you to
> do.
> : Diversity is the seasoning and spice of life.  Sometimes it will  come at
>
> a
> : cost, but it is the only life you have-- you should live it.
> :
> : Gawd I love open and friendly conversations regarding progressive
> : subjects... I should have been a Hippie.  LOL!
> :
> : Respectfully,
> : Ian  C. Bray
> : Louisville, KY.
> :
> :
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