[nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
Carly Mihalakis
carlymih at comcast.net
Mon Feb 18 15:46:38 UTC 2013
Hi, List,
Perhaps, for specifically bipolar stuff, larger communities might
provide some help but must this so-called blind one treat poor Dave
as if he is some pariah? I can imagine we cold be eliciting in Dave
feelings of deeper alienation, and self doubt. I understand, families
are often dysfunctional, but where are our open arms, when apparently
they are most needed?
Car :
>Hi Dave and all,
>I think the issues you are going through are quite common in the
>sighted world and you would probably get more and better support on a
>list geared toward relationships in general or an email support list
>for people with depression or bipolar, rather than a list for blind
>people specifically. I'm sure there are several Internet communities
>out there for people with depression or bipolar who may have had
>similar experiences. Best of luck and I'll be thinking of you during
>this difficult time.
>Arielle
>
>On 2/13/13, Dave Webster <dwebster125 at gmail.com> wrote:
> > Yea I was thinking about that when I posted to the list. That's why in my
> > initial post I said I didn't know whare the best place to post it would be.
> > Do you know if there is a list on the nfb lists whare people can get
> > support
> > for stuff like that? I don't think there are because I hadn't seen any
> > but.
> > I'll try to find some other lists I can post to. I know you're not trying
> > to minimize anything. Let me know if you know of any good lists out there
> > particularly for people who are blind and who have gone through long
> > distance relationships or any relationshIps for that matter. Thanks so
> > much.
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Elizabeth
> > Mohnke
> > Sent: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 1:44 PM
> > To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> > Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
> >
> > Hello David,
> >
> > I do not mean to minimize the pain of your personal situation, but I am not
> > quite sure if this list is the appropriate place to share the intimate
> > details of your personal relationship.
> >
> > The emails you post to this email list are stored in a public archive. This
> > means that not only can your emails be viewed by those who are subscribed
> > to
> > this email list, but they can be viewed by anyone who has access to the
> > internet. With this in mind, you may wish to think twice about sharing such
> > personal information about yourself on this email list.
> >
> > In addition, the purpose of this email list is to discuss matters that are
> > relevant to being a blind student. Please forgive me, but I fail to see how
> > disclosing intimate details regarding a personal relationship relates to
> > the
> > intended purpose of this email list. I can see how relationships in general
> > could be a relevant topic for this list, but I do not see how a specific
> > individual detailed relationship problem would be considered appropriate
> > for this email list.
> >
> > Again, I am sorry to hear you are having such difficulties in your personal
> > life, but I believe the intimate details of your personal relationship
> > would
> > be more suited for conversations that take place in private emails rather
> > than in a public email list.
> >
> > Respectfully,
> > Elizabeth
> >
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> > From: "Dave Webster" <dwebster125 at gmail.com>
> > Sent: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 4:08 PM
> > To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
> > <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> > Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
> >
> >> Hi Katie thanks for the post. I wanted to talk a bit about what
> >> actually happened between us. I found everything out last night. I
> >> had to really really talk to Terri about it. She finally told me.
> >> She said that there were some things about me that she thought she
> >> could handle in the beginning but when she through about it and when
> >> it actually happened she didn't think she could. One of the things
> >> was the crying spells I go through. I suffer from bipolar and my
> >> bipolar is more on the depressed side. My grandma past away just
> >> about 3 weeks ago and that's when the depression and the crying spells
> >> really started. It was hard for her because the crying spells were so
> >> intense and I would cry so hard, and I still do because this
> >> relationship didn't work out, but when my grandma died I would cry
> >> really hard. Some times they would last a wile. She wanted to tell
> >> me before that she didn't think she could handle those but she didn't.
> >> when she finally did tell me that's when she broke it off and before
> >> she told me that's when she started talking to this other person. If
> >> she would have said something in the beginning it would have been
> >> easier. I guess she felt like she was on egg shells because she would
> >> talk about her grand parents or her family and I'd start to cry. I
> >> guess it was just really really hard for her.
> >>
> >> -----Original Message-----
> >> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Kaiti
> >> Shelton
> >> Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 10:17 PM
> >> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> >> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>
> >> Hi all,
> >>
> >> I've just finished a long distance relationship by way of ditching the
> >> distance. I met my boyfriend of almost two years at a summer music
> >> program we both attended several years ago. We really hit it off the
> >> summer before my senior year and made the best of the long distance
> >> situation. We were both in school and involved in clubs and band and
> >> stuff, but we made it work the best we could. On our breaks he would
> >> come down to visit, and he even came for my senior prom so we could go
> >> together. (Despite all our blind moments we had with trying to find
> >> our way around unfamiliar territory with a lot of people in the room
> >> it was really fun). Last semester he finished up at his local
> >> community college and worked on transfering to a university in the
> >> same city as mine. Now instead of living 300 miles away from me and
> >> in another state our universities are pretty close and we can see each
> >> other every few weeks. Sure, we don't get to see each other every
> >> day, but with school for both of us it can't really be helped and it's
> >> a lot better than every few months.
> >> I don't necessarily think being blind or sighted has anything to do
> >> with the relationship. As Mauricio and others have said it all boils
> >> down to preference of both people in the relationship, their
> >> communication skills, their patience for being in a long distance
> >> relationship, and a lot of other factors. I do agree that sometimes
> >> blind people appear to enter into text-based relationships and get
> >> wrapped up in them more often than sighted people and this can
> >> sometimes be problematic, but otherwise blindness is just a trait, not
> >> a personality trait or something that really is important in a
> >> relationship. I don't think long distance relationships are bad, or
> >> that they just don't work. They're not for everyone, but if you're
> >> committed and patient and the other person is too it can actually
> >> strengthen the relationship. I know I appreciate my situation now,
> >> and appreciated the times when my boyfriend would come to visit,
> >> because they were priviledges for both of us.
> >> High school long distance relationships sort of have their own
> >> restrictions, especially the further apart the people in the
> >> relationship are. It always made me sad when my friends in high
> >> school would complain about not seeing their boyfriends over the
> >> weekend, or if they would question if they'd keep the relationship
> >> going once they and their boyfriend started going to different
> >> colleges in different cities because it seemed like they really didn't
> >> appreciate the time they spent with their boyfriend or were really
> >> willing to make things work.
> >> School schedules, activities like sports and clubs, and family life
> >> keep high school kids busy. With the set schedules it's not like
> >> college where the people can meet for lunch or go out to dinner after
> >> or between classes.
> >> It's also a matter of transportation; bus tickets, gas, and certainly
> >> plane tickets cost money. Of course I champion that the goal of a
> >> long distance relationship should be to make it short distance
> >> assuming everything works out, but if that can't happen easily for
> >> transportation, money, and school reasons than you might as well be as
> >> happy as possible together and make things work as it sounds like
> >> Sophie is doing. It's just the practical thing to do considering the
> >> circumstances. Kudos!
> >>
> >> On 2/12/13, Desiree Oudinot <turtlepower17 at gmail.com> wrote:
> >>> I hope I didn't come off as saying that long distance relationships
> >>> are bad. I didn't mean to. While this is still a very emotional topic
> >>> for me, I fully respect the fact that for others, they don't go
> >>> through what I went through. All I was trying to convey is that you
> >>> should really keep both eyes, ears, and your heart and soul open when
> >>> going into these situations. then again, if people thought deeply
> >>> when going into any relationship, no matter how near or far the other
> >>> person is, they might have more success. On the other hand, being
> >>> overly analytical, as I have a tendency to be, has its drawbacks,
> >>> namely that I go around and around in endless circles in my head,
> >>> never being able to draw any conclusion, endlessly agonizing over
> >>> every possible detail of things until I feel like I could explode.
> >>> I understand, to a degree, what you're dealing with. I deal with
> >>> depression and anxiety as well, and have for most of my life, so I
> >>> know how people react to that news. In my last relationship, the guy
> >>> I was with liked to tell me how weak I was for being depressed, and
> >>> how I was unable to handle everyday stresses. Yet, he was on
> >>> medications for depression and anxiety as well, so he was being quite
> >>> hypocritical.
> >>>
> >>> On 2/12/13, Sophie Trist <sweetpeareader at gmail.com> wrote:
> >>>> Um... I'M IN FREAKING HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry if you
> >>>> didn't know that... it just made me feel a little awkward. And, if
> >>>> you don't mind Koby, I'd rather not share the personal details of
> >>>> the relationship.
> >>>>
> >>>> ----- Original Message -----
> >>>> From: "Koby Cox" <kobycox at gmail.com
> >>>> To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
> >>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> >>>> Date sent: Tue, 12 Feb 2013 19:31:37 -0600
> >>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>
> >>>> Sophie,
> >>>> Are you guys engaged or can you tell me more about your alls
> >>>> relation ship?
> >>>> Thanks,
> >>>> Koby.
> >>>>
> >>>> -----Original Message-----
> >>>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Sophie
> >>>> Trist
> >>>> Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 6:56 PM
> >>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> >>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>
> >>>> Sarah, long distance relationships can work. My boyfriend lives in
> >>>> Australia and we have been going out for over a year. We just chat
> >>>> through the phone and texts and stuff. We've een each other since we
> >>>> started being a couple. It's different, but it's feasible. A few bad
> >>>> experiences isn't enough to say you hate relationships. I believe
> >>>> that there is someone out there for everyone; it just takes time.
> >>>>
> >>>> Sincerely,
> >>>> Sophie
> >>>>
> >>>> ----- Original Message -----
> >>>> From: Sarah <coastergirl92 at gmail.com
> >>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing
> >>>> list<nabs-l at nfbnet.org Date sent: Tue, 12 Feb 2013 14:15:34 -0800
> >>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>
> >>>> I cry every day. I hate relationships, especially long whtance ones
> >>>> they never work.
> >>>>
> >>>> ----- Original Message -----
> >>>> From: "Dave Webster" <dwebster125 at gmail.com
> >>>> To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
> >>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> >>>> Date sent: Tue, 12 Feb 2013 14:13:11 -0800
> >>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>
> >>>> Yea thanks. I think she did get scared but we had actually talked
> >>>> about that. I mean hopefully we can talk but I'm not sure. Its
> >>>> gonna take some time to get over this. I've been going through a
> >>>> lot of crying spells.
> >>>>
> >>>> -----Original Message-----
> >>>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Gloria
> >>>> G
> >>>> Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 11:55 AM
> >>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> >>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>
> >>>> Hi,
> >>>> I am so sorry that happened to you. You seem like a really nice guy
> >>>> and I think she just got scared. Maybe after things cool off you
> >>>> guys can talk and figure out what happened. Well I hope you feel
> >>>> better. Try doing something that is fun for you just to get your
> >>>> mind off things.
> >>>> ----- Original Message -----
> >>>> From: "Dave Webster" <dwebster125 at gmail.com
> >>>> To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
> >>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> >>>> Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 1:44 PM
> >>>> Subject: [nabs-l] Hello. Wanted to post something to the list.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> Hello all. I'm Dave. I am not a student right now. I have
> >>>> bipolar and am unable to handle the stress of going to school. I
> >>>> know that this may be off the topic of this list but I wanted to
> >>>> post it anyhow.
> >>>> I just got out of a relationship. It was a long distance one whare
> >>>> she lives in Michigan and I in California. We started talking at
> >>>> the beginning of January right after new years. We didn't mean to
> >>>> but we started to hit it off really really well. About a week or so
> >>>> later she bought plane tickets for me to come out there to Michigan
> >>>> to see her. If I liked it out there then I was most likely gonna
> >>>> stay and be with her. Right now I live in a board and care
> >>>> facility. It turns out that for a couple of weeks probably when
> >>>> she bought the tickets or pretty soonn after she began having
> >>>> doubts and fears about the relationship. I had my doubts and had
> >>>> my fears as well and knew this was a normal thing. We talked about
> >>>> them but a few days later she called the relationship off because
> >>>> there were some symptoms which were rather minor ones that she said
> >>>> she couldn't handle. It turns out that she is now tomorrow going
> >>>> to see this guy in Colorado.
> >>>> Mind
> >>>> you she doesn't know this guy and she didn't know me either but I
> >>>> feel like we had something. I feel like my emotions were played
> >>>> with and I'm really hurt. I was just wondering if any of you who
> >>>> want to could help me through this. I've been going through a lot
> >>>> of crying spells.
> >>>> During this time on January 10th I lost my grandma. She was 90 and
> >>>> had bad dementia and died in her sleep on the evening of the tenth.
> >>>> So I am trying to work with 2 losses right after another.
> >>>> Loosing my
> >>>> grandma and loosing Terri. Terri was someone that I could love and
> >>>> did love and still do. I wish she wouldn't go to Colorado.
> >>>> This guy that she's going to see has anxiety and depression as well
> >>>> and she found him on a sight for people with mental illnesses.
> >>>> Maybe
> >>>> if any of you want to we could talk off list. I've been going
> >>>> through a lot of crying spells and sometimes I need help through
> >>>> them.
> >>>> My
> >>>> friends, which by the way I don't have a lot of I feel like they
> >>>> may not be able to understand what's going on. I feel like I wasn't
> >>>> good enough for her. I'm just really really hurt.
> >>>>
> >>>> _______________________________________________
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> >>>> %40gm
> >>>> ail.com
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> _______________________________________________
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> >>>>
> >>>>
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> >>>>
> >>>>
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> >> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/turtlepower17%40gm
> >> ail.co
> >> m
> >>>>
> >>>
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> >> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/crazy4clarinet104%
> >> 40gmai
> >> l.com
> >>>
> >>
> >>
> >> --
> >> Kaiti
> >>
> >> _______________________________________________
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> >>
> >>
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> >>
> >
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>
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