[nabs-l] Some Questions...

Wed Jun 12 23:49:22 UTC 2013

Joshua,
Good coping techniques you shared.
Talking to trusted people helps.
I am a Christian but do not belong to a local church; the church I grew up 
in does not have a young adults group and all the sunday school attendees 
were older adults like in their 40s usually. So I stopped going.
I do sometimes attend a large non denominational church with my dad, but do 
not know the pastor there; no one does; its really big.

But I do talk to a few blind friends when I'm feeling frustrated. If it’s a 
general school issue, I may confide in other friends since they can relate 
to school issues too. You mention hobbies and interests.
Excellent coping technique.

I hope Kerri has some interests and hobbies to do to get her mind off the 
stress of planning for the future and to enjoy the moments.
When I feel down, I like to write in a journal or listen to calming music. 
Sometimes reading is a good mental escape too.

Well, I hope Kerri is figuring out what to do with our help and meanwhile, 
enjoy the summer.

-----Original Message----- 
From: Joshua Hendrickson
Sent: Monday, June 10, 2013 3:57 AM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Some Questions...

Hello to all.  This topic is quite interesting.  As A blind person,
going to college, it has taken me longer to almost get my associates
degree then some blind and sighted people I know.  It doesn't bother
me though.  My remedial math classes are finally done, and I received
a b on my college level math class.  This was due, in part to some
excilent tutoring, and the help of a great math teacher.  I have to
say in the long run, college math was loads better than geometry.  My
parents have always encouraged me, that I could do anything I put my
mind to.  I have never felt like I have to be a perfect person either
blind or sighted.  Interestingly enough, I have never felt insecure
about myself or the things I can do.  I know I have to work on a lot
of skills, especially independent living, and cooking, but I know
after college, I'm going to focus on this before going to NIU which is
Northern Illinois University.  Hopefully, we have friends or people we
can talk to who can support us, if we have feelings of low self esteme
or insecurity.  Also, I feel since I am a christian, this also helps.
I know I could talk to my pastor, or other members of our church.
Also, what about favorite hobbies or interests.  For me, if I'm
feeling down, I can just pick up my guitar, and start playing, and it
isn't long befor I'm feeling up again.  Take heart all.

On 6/10/13, Desiree Oudinot <turtlepower17 at gmail.com> wrote:
> But why is that a bad thing? We're being encouraged to be perfect. I
> have literally had a family member tell me, flat out, that I had to be
> perfect, and no, that's not an exaggeration, it really happened. All
> I'm saying is that no one is perfect, and trying to pressure people
> into believing that they must be or they'll be left in the dust is
> extremely unhealthy. That's not even a blind or sighted thing; that's
> basic psychology. There's only so much of that that a person can take
> before they just shut down and are unable to do the simplest thing
> without having an intense fear of failure and pervasive self-doubt. I
> don't want to go too far into specifics, but that's how I am a lot of
> the time. While I don't know the person who originally posted this
> thread, I would take a guess that she feels that way to a certain
> extent as well. And a lot of that can be traced straight back to the
> kind of societal conditioning we're discussing now. either you're
> great or you're nothing, you can't be anywherein the middle.
>
> On 6/10/13, wmodnl wmodnl <wmodnl at hotmail.com> wrote:
>> If you are not doing better than the rest, everyone will surpass you.  As
>> blind people, we are automatically put in a position to "write the
>> wrongs"
>> of society as it pertains to blind people.  I would be curious to find
>> statistics regarding this as it pertains to disability, and minority' in
>> general.  I have heard many say that, disability and blindness should
>> also
>> be considered within minority groups since we are a uncounted statistic
>> regarding employment, public well fair, etc.  The other issue is that, in
>> our culture, there is Unfortunately no room for error or you to just be
>> human, with its "privilege (S).  Whether it is wrong or write, you have
>> to
>> some-how fit in to one of those standards or you will never make it.
>>
>>
>> Sent from my iPad
>>
>> On Jun 9, 2013, at 3:17 PM, "Desiree Oudinot" <turtlepower17 at gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> And yet, is that really what we want to be teaching our children?
>>> You're not good enough unless you're great? I'm sorry, but that
>>> attitude kills me. We want to be accepted as normal, functioning
>>> members of society who just happen to be blind. And, on the spectrum
>>> of humanity, there are all kinds of people. So why can't a blind
>>> person be average? We have this double standard that says we have to
>>> be above and beyond in everything we do, otherwise we're considered
>>> substandard, and thus a bad reflection on all blind people. Which is
>>> it?
>>>
>>> On 6/9/13, Dave Webster <dwebster125 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> My problem was that growing up since I have been blind my whole life in
>>>> school it was always since you're blind you have to be doing it better
>>>> and
>>>> cleaner than the other guy.  I realize that my parents had probably ben
>>>> using that just for motivation and that type of motivation is a natural
>>>> thing for parents to do.  Hell I'd do it. If my child were blind, which
>>>> incidently I have no children but if any of them were blind and I were
>>>> sighted I'd probably say the same thing.  I though would probably say
>>>> since
>>>>
>>>> you're blind you don't necessarily need to be doing it better than
>>>> anyone
>>>> else but you need to do just as good as everyone else does.  Its kind
>>>> of
>>>> the
>>>>
>>>> theory that they teach at the nfb training centers and that is its not
>>>> enough just to get by.  Its not enough just to be average.
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: melissa Green
>>>> Sent: Saturday, June 08, 2013 9:28 PM
>>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Some Questions...
>>>>
>>>> really good points Arielle.
>>>> I completely agree we are put under more pressure than others to have a
>>>> career.
>>>> IMO we are also told what career we should go into.
>>>> For example, you are blind so go teach other blind people, or you are
>>>> blind
>>>> technology is wonderful for you.
>>>> I wonder do sighted people get put through the career tests as much as
>>>> we
>>>> do
>>>> as blind people.
>>>>
>>>> Blessings,
>>>> Melissa and Pj
>>>> "Forever is composed of nows." -Emily Dickinson
>>>> facebook Melissa R Green
>>>> Linkedin www.linkedin.com/in/melissagreen5674
>>>> skype: lissa5674
>>>>
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: "Arielle Silverman" <arielle71 at gmail.com>
>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Friday, June 07, 2013 8:19 PM
>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Some Questions...
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Hi Kerri,
>>>>
>>>> I think this is an excellent question. I would bet that virtually all
>>>> blind people and virtually all sighted people have struggled with this
>>>> issue. I have sighted research assistants who have graduated college
>>>> and are unsure what to do afterward. Even my father, who was a
>>>> successful doctor for twenty years, has struggled with career change
>>>> decisions and made a substantial switch in his job in his mid-fifties.
>>>> There are a multitude of careers and jobs out there, and it is hard to
>>>> choose what you want to do and how that lines up with the jobs that
>>>> are actually out there.
>>>> I think this is a common issue that has little to do with blindness or
>>>> being in training. However, I think there is a huge amount of pressure
>>>> placed on blind people to pick a career path as soon as they graduate
>>>> high school and to stick with that path forever. In my opinion this
>>>> expectation is unrealistic and puts too much pressure on young people
>>>> without motivating them. I have heard that the average person switches
>>>> jobs every three to five years. Plenty of folks get a degree, work in
>>>> one career for a while, then decide to re-train and do something else.
>>>> There is nothing wrong with that.
>>>> The suggestion I give most people is to just pick something you like,
>>>> either a job opportunity that comes up or a college major, and just
>>>> stay with it for as long as you like, knowing that you can always
>>>> change your mind and do something else later. You can tell voc rehab
>>>> that it is your career plan, and if you change your mind later, so be
>>>> it.
>>>> I also think that finding good mentors in whatever job or college
>>>> major you pick is really important for staying motivated. I had
>>>> mentors in college who gave me clear and supportive guidance about
>>>> what direction to go into, and now my mentors in grad school are
>>>> giving me the motivation I need to keep going toward my degree (which
>>>> I still don't quite know what I'm doing afterward). It sounds like you
>>>> had excellent mentors in training and you can find good mentors in
>>>> work and school settings as well. In order to find them, though, you
>>>> will need to take a step out and pick something to do, either a job or
>>>> a degree. There are plenty of professional folks who want to take on
>>>> young people as mentees, in the work world as well as in the NFB.
>>>> I believe there are several jobs a blind person could do with just a
>>>> high school degree, but getting a college degree will greatly increase
>>>> your options. If VR is supporting you, there is little cost in going
>>>> to college and getting a degree. While the degree will help you, the
>>>> mentoring connections you could make in college, through classes and
>>>> extracurricular activities, is equally if not more helpful
>>>>
>>>> Best,
>>>> Arielle
>>>>
>>>> On 6/7/13, brooke anderson <brookenicholeanderson at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> My dear I also struggle with the same. My opinion is if you want to
>>>>> work
>>>>> at
>>>>> the Dunkin Donuts,you should. However just remember that it might not
>>>>> be
>>>>> something you want to do for the rest of your life. also keep in mind
>>>>> that
>>>>> you will most likely have to fight for your job.  many people will
>>>>> think
>>>>> that you cannot do it. In reality, if you are good at slating, you
>>>>> can.
>>>>> do
>>>>> not give up.
>>>>> Nichole.
>>>>>
>>>>> send from my galaxy note ii
>>>>> On Jun 7, 2013 6:44 PM, "Kerri Kosten" <kerrik2006 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> Hi Everyone:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I don't want to say too much on a public list, so I am going to try
>>>>>> to
>>>>>> keep this very general and just ask my questions.
>>>>>> Basically, how did you decide what you wanted to do in life for a
>>>>>> career?
>>>>>> How did you pick your major?
>>>>>> If you do not have much confidence in yourself, how did you find out
>>>>>> what you were passionate about/wanted to do?
>>>>>> How did you find internal motivation?
>>>>>> How did you decide whether to go to school, or just get a job?
>>>>>> What jobs can blind people do without a degree?
>>>>>> What jobs can a blind person do just to gain confidence in themselves
>>>>>> until they find direction?
>>>>>> I find myself really struggling now that I am out of training. I did
>>>>>> really well in training, but the goals I set in training do not apply
>>>>>> now in the situation I am in because those goals were training
>>>>>> specific. I think I also did really well in training because it was a
>>>>>> routine and I got used to it. I was also always told what to do, or
>>>>>> knew what I needed to work on in each class.
>>>>>> I am really struggling finding motivation now that I am on my own and
>>>>>> don't have the training center staff encouraging me, pushing me, and
>>>>>> telling me what to do.
>>>>>> My problem I think is if I am scared of someone, or I really
>>>>>> respect/admire someone, or I am intimidated by someone, I will work
>>>>>> as
>>>>>> hard as I can and make sure to do everything they say. But, when just
>>>>>> left to myself, on my own, I really really struggle to find
>>>>>> motivation, make decisions about things, and find direction.
>>>>>> Does anyone else find themselves struggling with this kind of thing
>>>>>> after training or am I the only one?
>>>>>> How have you gotten through it and found direction/your passion and
>>>>>> what you wanted to do?
>>>>>> The problem is my Rehab counselor called me today. He is someone I
>>>>>> really respect. I am now stressing out because I want to at least
>>>>>> have
>>>>>> a plan for him when I return his call. I at least want him to think
>>>>>> that after spending so much money to send me to training, I am
>>>>>> motivated and am doing things and taking some sort of action rather
>>>>>> than sitting around.
>>>>>> But, I have no idea what jobs to look for or what to do. A Dunkin
>>>>>> Donuts just opened here recently. Is there anything I could do there?
>>>>>> I just want to show my counselor I have been doing something or at
>>>>>> least have a plan.
>>>>>> Thanks so much, and I look forward to reading your responses!
>>>>>> Kerri
>>>>>>
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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-- 
Joshua T Hendrickson

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