[nabs-l] family's misunderstandings of the real world

[Beth Taurasi]

Ok.  You're right.  What I'm concerned about is people not understanding 
not only that I've got this, I'm on top of my game, and that sort of 
thing, but that I'm also not putting myself in any more danger than the 
average person.  My cousin says I should not meet others online at all, 
and she doesn't understand that disabled people in rural and hard to 
staff areas have to do that.  Case in point, myself included.
Beth TaurasiOn 11/20/2013 10:07 AM, Lavar Phillips wrote:
> Hi Beth
> First I will tell you date who ever you want don't  let anyone tell you
> different. Even sometimes we have to prove things to our own family it's
> sad I know. I am blind visually impaired what ever you want to call it I
> can see out one eye. I have dated people with 20/20. Yes it was nice but I
> feel like fully sighted: people focus on  looks and mis out on getting to
> know the person. Will it be a challenge dating a blind person maybe a
> little but all relationships have ups and downs. If he make you happy don't
> let anyone keep you from your happiness. Eventually your family will see
> that you're happy and get over the fact he is blind.
> Just my thoughts.
>
> Lavar J Phillips
> 5003 48 Street Woodside New York 11377
> Cell # (917) 858 3368
> Twitter lavar1988
> On Nov 20, 2013 11:40 AM, "Daniel Romero" <djdan567 at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Hi Beth,
>> 1. Yeah though she might have a problem with your latest boyfriend
>> because he's blind, and you might have become obsessive, all our
>> families want is the best for us. Obsessive is okay, you're in the
>> honeymoon stage, it's normal. But the blind factor is something our
>> families are always going to feel a little nervous about as they
>> think/feel/want to be secure that we'll always have someone there
>> who's sighted ready to help us in whatever we may need help with.
>> That's not saying your family doubts your abilities, but they just
>> want the best for you at the end of the day.
>> 2. Just because she's giving you this piece of advice, don't shut it
>> down because you currently have a blind boyfriend and you're sitting
>> on top of the world. She's just giving you some words of advice. No
>> one ever said you had to comply with them. And from experience, a
>> sighted guy will date/approach a blind woman faster than a sighted
>> woman would a blind man. (Lol but I guess that can be debated).
>> 3. Stop trying to prove yourself to someone. We as blind people spend
>> so much time, trying to impress/change the minds of people who don't
>> live in our shoes everyday, that we get so flustered, (Which you
>> already have gotten). If she doesn't think you live the real world,
>> let her think that. If she doesn't want to be a part of the NFB
>> parents of blind children group, then she doesn't have too. Live your
>> life. If you're happy, you do the things you do for your reasons that
>> bennifit you, then do it. Stop trying to make the world happy around
>> you when at the end of the day, all that matters is your happiness and
>> what you're comfortable with.
>> Might have came off pushy in this e-mail, I just don't want you giving
>> power to those who don't/won't understand and won't take the time out
>> to view what life is like in your shoes.
>> Take care!
>>
>> On 11/20/13, Beth Taurasi <denverqueen1107 at comcast.net> wrote:
>>> Hi, all.
>>> I was recently Facebook chatting my cousin and she accused me of doing
>>> the following things:
>>> 1. Obsession with my latest boyfriend, who she might have a problem with
>>> because he is blind.
>>> 2. She said I should be open to dating sighted people, yes, Arielle, you
>>> are married to a sighted man, but not all sighted people like a blind
>>> woman, and statistically it isn't true that sighted people will go out
>>> with blind women.
>>> 3. She says that blind people can do things, but she says I don't
>>> understand the real world.  What? I told her I do understand the real
>>> world, I pay my bills, I save money, I work with money. I don't pay
>>> taxes because in my understanding of the so-called "real world", SSI is
>>> not taxable, and finding a job for me is hard because I am dually
>> disabled.
>>> I need help also convincing her that parenting is possible even with my
>>> particular disabilities.  I've tried referring her to NFB's parenting
>>> without Sight thingies, and she doesn't seem interested. I have a lot of
>>> friends on here so I'm posing this question.  Also, she says I should
>>> move back to Florida, but after all this stuff I've been through back
>>> there, I said to her, "No.  I've got all I need in Denver."
>>> Please help.
>>> Beth
>>>
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