[nabs-l] Families misunderstanding real world

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

Beth,

Unfortunately, this will just happen sometimes in life, whether it be
family, friends or strangers. At the end of the day, you just need to
move forward and not even deal with people like this. It's difficult
with family, but I wouldn't engage them unless at a family gathering. If
they seek you out, ignore it. You living your life will prove more than
any words.

I'm a formally sighted person, but when I lost my sight, I didn't really
think one way over another about dating a blind person or sighted
person. Some people in my life assumed I would need a sighted person to
care for me, but I didn't really accept that concept. Plus, I don't like
being told what I can and can not do, grin.

My husband is also blind, but it has nothing to do with sight or
blindness. We met, and it was just the right person. He could have been
a Martian for all it mattered, because eight years later, I know it was
the right decision, right person.

I wasn't even looking for a relationship at the time; it just happened.
Though I have my list, disability wasn't on it, or at least was on the
bottom. I saw him for him, and he saw me for me. We were not looking at
a single aspect of one another or what the other could do for us. And
let me tell you, love at first sight is possible when blind, smile.

Don't think in terms of sighted or blind, disabled or not. Don't assume
no one wants to date you because you're blind. Be confident, try things
like initiating conversation, and just be your self. If a guy doesn't
want to be involved, that's his loss.

Plus, let me guess, you're in your 20's right? There's plenty of time to
settle down. There's nothing wrong with being single, and if you feel
you're ready for a relationship, put yourself out there, but stop
thinking blindness is a strike against you. This negative aura will be
picked up by others.

As for children, I have a very 
Active 15 month-old, and I'm a stay-at-home parent right now. Not only
am I able to competently and safely raise a child, but I've been
recognized in my community for doing so. Though I'm doing nothing
spectacular, the local media has put a spotlight on me and my family
since Ross and I are blind parents. We've had an amazing opportunity to
demonstrate how it's possible to be a blind parent. And honestly, I do
little differently than a sighted parent. Raising kids isn't easy, but
it really shouldn't be more difficult for blind people than anyone else.

So, present your argument diplomatically and intelligently, but really,
that's all you can do. It's up to others to accept what you present, and
if they're close-minded, that's not your problem. Know you are just as
capable of dating, being independent, raising children and anything else
as a sighted person.

Which BTW, my Little Guy is squeezing himself into a very tight spot
trying to reach some cords. Better run, grin!

Bridgit