[nabs-l] Families misunderstanding real world

Thu Nov 21 21:08:10 UTC 2013

At a certain point, if a particular relationship is becoming destructive or in some way hindering your well being, you absolutely need to distance yourself. Not doing so is by far easier in the short term, but will only result in the same problems long term. There is no shame in cutting off the poisonous influences in your life. Often, it is the only reasonable option. You can't force others to change. You can only change how you handle them. 

Sent from my iPhone

> On Nov 21, 2013, at 11:51 AM, Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at comcast.net> wrote:
> 
> 
> 
> Good morning, Lavar,
> 
>        Avoidance? I don't believe you really mean that...it's chicken shit. You oughta just deal with it.pave the road for the next guy or, do we also not believe in that?
> for today, Car
> 408-209-323937 AM 11/21/2013, Lavar Phillips wrote:
>> Sometimes you just got to not deal with people
>> 
>> Lavar J Phillips
>> 5003 48 Street Woodside New York 11377
>> Cell # (917) 858 3368
>> Twitter lavar1988
>> On Nov 21, 2013 11:54 AM, "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
>> wrote:
>> 
>> > Beth,
>> >
>> > Unfortunately, this will just happen sometimes in life, whether it be
>> > family, friends or strangers. At the end of the day, you just need to
>> > move forward and not even deal with people like this. It's difficult
>> > with family, but I wouldn't engage them unless at a family gathering. If
>> > they seek you out, ignore it. You living your life will prove more than
>> > any words.
>> >
>> > I'm a formally sighted person, but when I lost my sight, I didn't really
>> > think one way over another about dating a blind person or sighted
>> > person. Some people in my life assumed I would need a sighted person to
>> > care for me, but I didn't really accept that concept. Plus, I don't like
>> > being told what I can and can not do, grin.
>> >
>> > My husband is also blind, but it has nothing to do with sight or
>> > blindness. We met, and it was just the right person. He could have been
>> > a Martian for all it mattered, because eight years later, I know it was
>> > the right decision, right person.
>> >
>> > I wasn't even looking for a relationship at the time; it just happened.
>> > Though I have my list, disability wasn't on it, or at least was on the
>> > bottom. I saw him for him, and he saw me for me. We were not looking at
>> > a single aspect of one another or what the other could do for us. And
>> > let me tell you, love at first sight is possible when blind, smile.
>> >
>> > Don't think in terms of sighted or blind, disabled or not. Don't assume
>> > no one wants to date you because you're blind. Be confident, try things
>> > like initiating conversation, and just be your self. If a guy doesn't
>> > want to be involved, that's his loss.
>> >
>> > Plus, let me guess, you're in your 20's right? There's plenty of time to
>> > settle down. There's nothing wrong with being single, and if you feel
>> > you're ready for a relationship, put yourself out there, but stop
>> > thinking blindness is a strike against you. This negative aura will be
>> > picked up by others.
>> >
>> > As for children, I have a very
>> > Active 15 month-old, and I'm a stay-at-home parent right now. Not only
>> > am I able to competently and safely raise a child, but I've been
>> > recognized in my community for doing so. Though I'm doing nothing
>> > spectacular, the local media has put a spotlight on me and my family
>> > since Ross and I are blind parents. We've had an amazing opportunity to
>> > demonstrate how it's possible to be a blind parent. And honestly, I do
>> > little differently than a sighted parent. Raising kids isn't easy, but
>> > it really shouldn't be more difficult for blind people than anyone else.
>> >
>> > So, present your argument diplomatically and intelligently, but really,
>> > that's all you can do. It's up to others to accept what you present, and
>> > if they're close-minded, that's not your problem. Know you are just as
>> > capable of dating, being independent, raising children and anything else
>> > as a sighted person.
>> >
>> > Which BTW, my Little Guy is squeezing himself into a very tight spot
>> > trying to reach some cords. Better run, grin!
>> >
>> > Bridgit
>> >
>> >
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>> >
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