[nabs-l] Blindness is scary-how to teach otherwise while still being compassionate

Tue Oct 15 06:13:56 UTC 2013

Hello, I've had low vision my whole life but it's progressively getting worse, so I can relate a little bit. I honestly don't think there is much that can be said to "cheer her up". I am well aware of the countless abilities of blind people. But, I still sit up crying sometimes at the thought that I could be blind one day. 

My advice would be to support her and realize blindness is a hard thing to wrap your head around, and if you are religious, pray for her. 

Best of luck

Bobbi A. L. Pompey
(336) 988-6375
pompey2010 at yahoo.com 
http://pompey2050.wix.com/bobbi-pompey

> On Oct 14, 2013, at 11:44 PM, Julie McGinnity <kaybaycar at gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> Hi Kaiti and all,
> 
> This is very interesting.  I have been thinking about this lately due
> to a film that was shown here last week on this very topic.  I don't
> know how many of you have seen the film Going Blind, a documentary
> about how people deal with losing their sight, but I would not
> recommend it for someone who might be losing vision.  I won't go into
> all the details(I could fill pages with my opinions on the film), but
> it got me thinking about the level of panic sighted people must
> experience when they are losing their vision.
> 
> Yes, we know that they can do just about anything they've done before
> losing their sight, but sight is a part of them, a strong part of
> them.  Many of us who have grown up not seeing or with limited vision
> are used to being unable to see pictures, facial expressions, and
> films--and let's not even talk about driving.  Imagine losing your
> hearing or your sense of touch in your fingers.  On a smaller scale,
> think about what would happen if you broke your hand or wrist.
> Reading braille, writing, and using a cane/dog would be extremely
> difficult for a long period of time.  Many of us rely on our hearing
> for navigation and getting information.  Losing that would be
> devastating to us, even though we know we could manage.  Knowing
> something mentally and truly understanding it are two different
> things.
> 
> I would be very interested to hear from someone who lost their sight
> later in life but then embraced NFB philosophy.  How would this change
> the grieving process?  How can we(those of us who have always been
> blind) better understand what it's like to lose sight as an adult?
> 
> Kaiti, I think the best thing you can do is be there for her and
> answer any questions she may have.  I could be wrong about this, but I
> think it's difficult for those of us who have lived with blindness all
> our lives to understand and empathize with those who are full of fear
> at the prospect of losing their vision.  After all, we've lived very
> productive lives without vision.  But I think that these two
> experiences represent two sides of the same coin.
> 
> 
> 
>> On 10/14/13, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Hi Kaiti and all,
>> 
>> I think this is an excellent question and an issue we all deal with as
>> NFB members. We often meet folks who are losing vision and try to
>> offer them  support and resources. Sometimes it can be hard for us who
>> are used to blindness to understand what they are experiencing. I know
>> that I have offered information and resources to people who contact me
>> about their moms or dads losing sight, and they tell me that their
>> parent does not want the information because he/she is too depressed
>> or scared to deal with it yet. This is a little hard for me to
>> empathize with, as someone who has been totally blind my whole life.
>> Usually what I try to do is work with the person and answer whatever
>> questions they ask me, but don't preach to them or tell them about
>> things unless they want to know. For example, sometimes I come across
>> folks who don't want to use canes but are losing vision and would
>> clearly benefit from using a cane. I don't nag them about using a cane
>> unless they specifically say that they are having trouble getting
>> around or identifying their blindness to others, at which point I
>> casually suggest that a cane might help with those difficulties they
>> are having. I want to give them information and feedback but also
>> respect their choices and their feelings about the situation.
>> I would suggest that you can just be a supportive friend and listen to
>> her concerns and emotional expressions. If she asks you how you do
>> things, you can share techniques with her and point her to other blind
>> role models, but that may not be something she is interested in yet.
>> 
>> Best,
>> Arielle
>> 
>>> On 10/14/13, Sandra Gayer <sandragayer7 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> Hello Kaiti,
>>> It sounds as though you're having a tough time emotionally yourself.
>>> Your friend won't be thinking rationally at this stage because of her
>>> fear of the unknown ahead of her. It doesn't matter that the chances
>>> of her losing her sight are remote, the fact is, there's still a
>>> chance and she's trying to prepare herself mentally for that. The best
>>> thing you can do is be there for her, listen to her worries and fears
>>> and try and comfort her. In short, what you're already doing.
>>> 
>>> It would do you no harm to clear your mind of all this sometimes, take
>>> a mental break from it.
>>> Very best wishes,
>>> Sandra.
>>> 
>>>> On 10/14/13, Kaiti Shelton <crazy4clarinet104 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> Hi all,
>>>> 
>>>> I am confronted with an interesting situation.  A very close friend of
>>>> mine may/may not have a neurological proglem which, if left untreated,
>>>> could cause damage to the optic nerve and therefore blindness.  I'm
>>>> trying to be a good friend and be supportive, because what she's going
>>>> through is definitely not comfortable or easy by any means, but she
>>>> doesn't even have the test results or know of a treatment plan and
>>>> she's already thinking about the what ifs associated with going blind.
>>>> 
>>>> It's really difficult, because I realize that it is scary to think
>>>> about; I probably would not be a happy camper if my vision drastically
>>>> changed, and that's even with the knowledge that it could do so in a
>>>> way that would further limit the sight I have/make me totally blind at
>>>> any time if the right thing were to go wrong having been drilled into
>>>> me since childhood.  I would imagine that discomfort/annoyance would
>>>> be at least ten-fold for a person who has spent nearly two decades as
>>>> a sighted person, with little to no contact with a blind person until
>>>> they met me in college.  Yet, I feel somewhat awkward because I know
>>>> that blindness is not the worst thing that could happen to a person by
>>>> far, and that I've shown her by example that one does not need sight
>>>> to do well in school, to cook and clean around an apartment, to have a
>>>> job, or to be successful in general.  I realize that seeing someone
>>>> else do things differently and imagining yourself have to do them a
>>>> different way is terrifying too, if I had to suddenly switch to using
>>>> a foreign language or sign language to speak I'd definitely be
>>>> freaking about the ramifications of being out of the loop, and perhaps
>>>> that is what this is like a bit.
>>>> 
>>>> I'm just trying to think of ways that I can be supportive while still
>>>> showing her that even if the worst does happen, things can be
>>>> done---just differently.  I feel like that is one of the best ways I
>>>> can be supportive, because I have the knowledge about the subject that
>>>> others around her do not, and since blindness has such a bad
>>>> connotation, it is possible that those who don't know much about it
>>>> are not helping the situation by panicking themselves.  I'm trying to
>>>> be empathetic as well, because although I have lost vision in chunks,
>>>> I am probably the only person she knows who has experienced any form
>>>> of vision loss, and there was a time in my younger teen years when I
>>>> was terrified of losing all of my vision in which I had to put
>>>> blindness into perspective and realize that much worse could happen to
>>>> a person, too.
>>>> 
>>>> So far I've been telling her to not freak about it is she doesn't even
>>>> have test results yet, which I realize is much easier said than done
>>>> but I thought it was the best I could do.  I've also reminded her that
>>>> even if she does have this condition there are treatment plans which
>>>> could prevent vision loss, so even if she were to receive the
>>>> diagnosis it is not a death sentence for her sight.  I do not know
>>>> what else I could do at this point but remind her of those things,
>>>> since the rationalization seems to help for a while once she thinks
>>>> through it.
>>>> 
>>>> I would love to hear from people who have had similar experiences
>>>> and/or lost sight later in life.  If you are the latter and you knew
>>>> there was a possibility of blindness before it happened what specific
>>>> aspects about blindness bothered you the most?  What, if anything, did
>>>> others do that made you feel a little better about the situation?
>>>> What do you wish others would have done to help you?  What would you
>>>> suggest I do to help my friend?  Did contact with other blind people
>>>> help you durring that time?  (The thing I'm worried about is her
>>>> saying, "Well you can't empathize because you don't know what it's
>>>> like," because in terms of having the sudden shock I do not, but
>>>> everything else I do).  Any thoughts?
>>>> --
>>>> Kaiti
>>>> 
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>>> 
>>> --
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>>> 
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>>> 
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>>> 
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> 
> 
> -- 
> Julie McG
> National Association of Guide dog Users board member,  National
> Federation of the Blind performing arts division secretary,
> Missouri Association of Guide dog Users President,
> and Guiding Eyes for the Blind graduate 2008
> "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that
> everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal
> life."
> John 3:16
> 
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