[nabs-l] living skills, unsupportive family and negative words

[Andy]

Honestly, I'm in the same boat as Ashley, except I'm in college.  To
those that say to basically screw what your parents tell you, get
training anyway, I 100% agree.  Problem is, how to get to an NFB
center?  You'd probably need to fly (I would, at least), and having
basically no orientation and mobility skills, I would need their help
to get there.


On 4/24/14, anjelinac at att.net <anjelinac at att.net> wrote:
> Hi Ashley, as many other people have said it is  up  to  your mom to change
> her attitude and perceptions on blindness. All you can do is work on
> yourself and give yourself the opportunities you need and deserve. I think
> the benefit of and Nfb training center is that you have to take all the
> classes. The classes can be geared toward your skills and abilities, but
> being able to increase your skills is just as good as being able to learn
> new skills.
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
>> On Apr 24, 2014, at 2:35 PM, "Ashley Bramlett" <bookwormahb at earthlink.net>
>> wrote:
>>
>> Hi all,
>>
>> I am going to mainly vent here. Although I may not attend a nfb center, I
>> feel I should go for some training or get in house training from the
>> lighthouse.
>>
>> I want training tailored to the classes I need without sleepshades and nfb
>> centers have you take everything.
>>
>> Anyway, I'm very hurt that my mom won't support training.
>> For those who did not read much from me before, I'll say I grew up in a
>> middle class family; pretty in tact. While I did receive fairly good
>> academic support to learn braille, large print, how to label and organize
>> papers, use a talking calculator, and even some jaws training, I did not
>> receive much training in regard to living skills.
>> I did receive traditional O&M but did get much better O&M training as an
>> adult from our state agency.
>> My vr agency instructor taught me in some what of a discovery fashion and
>> she encouraged exploration and had me plan routes.
>> She taught me about our metro system too.
>>
>> I do have basic living skills from learning via a rehab teacher who came
>> to our home and attending our state center. but I did not get everything
>> at the state center as ADL was only twice a week.
>>
>> So, when possibly going to WSB for the IRS program came up, mom was
>> negative saying no way I cannot live on my own and how I don't try
>> anything.
>> She never says anything positive to move forward. I
>> don't like the idea of WSB but it was brought up with my new counselor.
>>
>> She doesn't support training. She blames me. I'm so tired and hurt she
>> keeps bllaming me. Okay, I cannot simply read a recipe and cook. you have
>> to know how to cut vegies better than I do. You have to know how to
>> measure well and cook meat.
>> I've seen recipies and I don't understand the lingo.
>>
>> She says things like
>> "oh, you don't need training you had enough. You  just need to try things.
>> You're here often and don't do much." I say I do and I do my laundry and
>> make sandwiches for instance. I said I looked for work myself.
>> I have used and tried to be actuve with the skills I have.
>> "Why don't you look around the kitchen and get recipies and try to cook?
>> you just aren't adventurous. You should do more."
>>
>> I tell her I don't know how. she just fails to get it. I am not lazy. I'm
>> fairly resourceful; I even taught myself some stuff on the computer. those
>> fs webinars are helpful.
>> When I was on my own in college, I did explore the area and went to a few
>> malls on my own. My parents wouldn't support that except for going to the
>> mall where my gym is since they know I had a little orientation to it and
>> I know its layout mostly. So I did use my O&M skills.
>> When I suggest going places, it seems I often hear from mom, I'll be lost
>> and no way I could find my way. Okay, I cannot do outside safely, but
>> indoors there should be no excuse; there are people to gather directions
>> from, and walls around so you can only go so far astray.
>> Thing is my mother is the least supportive person. Never has she showed me
>> to make a dish and she did not even teach me to tie my shoes. My TVI did
>> the shoe thing. Never has she tried to help me much learn anything. Well,
>> she did not help my brothers much but they can see others do it via tv or
>> something.
>>
>> I'm so tired she blames me when she is the big problem and then to say I
>> don't need more training is worse. Its like to her, I'm a lost case, and
>> even if I'm trained I won't learn and won't try. Not true at all. I've
>> used a lot of skills I learned.
>>
>> It is just so amazing my mom won't support my independence and feels I'm
>> incapable of it. I guess I'll someday move and prove her otherwise.
>>
>> Ashley
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