[nabs-l] living skills, unsupportive family and negative words

justin williams justin.williams2 at gmail.com
Thu Apr 24 21:58:02 UTC 2014


Where there is a will, there is a way.  

-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Andy
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2014 5:51 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] living skills, unsupportive family and negative words

Honestly, I'm in the same boat as Ashley, except I'm in college.  To those
that say to basically screw what your parents tell you, get training anyway,
I 100% agree.  Problem is, how to get to an NFB center?  You'd probably need
to fly (I would, at least), and having basically no orientation and mobility
skills, I would need their help to get there.


On 4/24/14, anjelinac at att.net <anjelinac at att.net> wrote:
> Hi Ashley, as many other people have said it is  up  to  your mom to 
> change her attitude and perceptions on blindness. All you can do is 
> work on yourself and give yourself the opportunities you need and 
> deserve. I think the benefit of and Nfb training center is that you 
> have to take all the classes. The classes can be geared toward your 
> skills and abilities, but being able to increase your skills is just 
> as good as being able to learn new skills.
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
>> On Apr 24, 2014, at 2:35 PM, "Ashley Bramlett" 
>> <bookwormahb at earthlink.net>
>> wrote:
>>
>> Hi all,
>>
>> I am going to mainly vent here. Although I may not attend a nfb 
>> center, I feel I should go for some training or get in house training 
>> from the lighthouse.
>>
>> I want training tailored to the classes I need without sleepshades 
>> and nfb centers have you take everything.
>>
>> Anyway, I'm very hurt that my mom won't support training.
>> For those who did not read much from me before, I'll say I grew up in 
>> a middle class family; pretty in tact. While I did receive fairly 
>> good academic support to learn braille, large print, how to label and 
>> organize papers, use a talking calculator, and even some jaws 
>> training, I did not receive much training in regard to living skills.
>> I did receive traditional O&M but did get much better O&M training as 
>> an adult from our state agency.
>> My vr agency instructor taught me in some what of a discovery fashion 
>> and she encouraged exploration and had me plan routes.
>> She taught me about our metro system too.
>>
>> I do have basic living skills from learning via a rehab teacher who 
>> came to our home and attending our state center. but I did not get 
>> everything at the state center as ADL was only twice a week.
>>
>> So, when possibly going to WSB for the IRS program came up, mom was 
>> negative saying no way I cannot live on my own and how I don't try 
>> anything.
>> She never says anything positive to move forward. I don't like the 
>> idea of WSB but it was brought up with my new counselor.
>>
>> She doesn't support training. She blames me. I'm so tired and hurt 
>> she keeps bllaming me. Okay, I cannot simply read a recipe and cook. 
>> you have to know how to cut vegies better than I do. You have to know 
>> how to measure well and cook meat.
>> I've seen recipies and I don't understand the lingo.
>>
>> She says things like
>> "oh, you don't need training you had enough. You  just need to try
things.
>> You're here often and don't do much." I say I do and I do my laundry 
>> and make sandwiches for instance. I said I looked for work myself.
>> I have used and tried to be actuve with the skills I have.
>> "Why don't you look around the kitchen and get recipies and try to cook?
>> you just aren't adventurous. You should do more."
>>
>> I tell her I don't know how. she just fails to get it. I am not lazy. 
>> I'm fairly resourceful; I even taught myself some stuff on the 
>> computer. those fs webinars are helpful.
>> When I was on my own in college, I did explore the area and went to a 
>> few malls on my own. My parents wouldn't support that except for 
>> going to the mall where my gym is since they know I had a little 
>> orientation to it and I know its layout mostly. So I did use my O&M
skills.
>> When I suggest going places, it seems I often hear from mom, I'll be 
>> lost and no way I could find my way. Okay, I cannot do outside 
>> safely, but indoors there should be no excuse; there are people to 
>> gather directions from, and walls around so you can only go so far
astray.
>> Thing is my mother is the least supportive person. Never has she 
>> showed me to make a dish and she did not even teach me to tie my 
>> shoes. My TVI did the shoe thing. Never has she tried to help me much 
>> learn anything. Well, she did not help my brothers much but they can 
>> see others do it via tv or something.
>>
>> I'm so tired she blames me when she is the big problem and then to 
>> say I don't need more training is worse. Its like to her, I'm a lost 
>> case, and even if I'm trained I won't learn and won't try. Not true 
>> at all. I've used a lot of skills I learned.
>>
>> It is just so amazing my mom won't support my independence and feels 
>> I'm incapable of it. I guess I'll someday move and prove her otherwise.
>>
>> Ashley
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