[nabs-l] highschool question

Sat Aug 30 01:38:10 UTC 2014

I have to agree with Kurts ideology here. 
My high school has a general reputation, which I have found to be pretty
true in my experience, to be extremely clicky. These clicks don't seem to
have room for me besides being a cherody case. 
Sure, their nice enough to me, but at the end of the day they really don't
see the true values of being my friend. 
There are several pretty cool people that I'm pretty good acquaintances with
at my school; however, they have other friends, so as I said its an
acquaintance. I'm trying to not push back too hard because then again, I run
the risk of being a cherity case; and that is a risk I am not willing to
take. 
I would rather know that I am not wanted/do not fit in vs being  someone to
be pitied. 

Part of this dates back to elementary school; quite honestly, I was a weird
child that not a lot of people, blind or sited wanted to be friends with me.
There were adults seemingly hovering all over the place, and what elementary
school child would want to deal with that? That said, I did know a few
pretty cool people. I was also the target once of an extended period of
pretty not-so-good teacher behavior, shall we say. I was the kid that was
quite sad and really did not feel that I could relate to other people my
age. 

Relating is something I still kind of have problems with today. I don't
really feel that I care that much about today's generation trends such as
posting enormous amounts of pictures and other weird stuff on social media,
and obsessing over fashion, for example. I also do not really feel that they
could relate to day-to-day things with blindness, such as even the small
things like being annoyed that I had to do one of my TVI's weird assignments
in study hall verses being able to do my homework. I sometimes have trouble
coming up with conversation topics with my peers aside from a superficial
level. I also feel that I am a little more mature (I'm not sure if that's
the right word) and that I had to grow up a lot more quickly than my sited
peers. 

Anyway, onto the original topic. 
I'd definitely recommend joining some extracurriculars that you like, or
have an interest in. I'd also try to make sure that you have the
independence skills to be able to be a valuable contributor to the club and
not just sit around. You have to be able to prove right from the start that
you have something to contribute. I've met some of my afquaintances this
way. 

One last thing to be aware of: If this is an issue, I'd make sure that your
school staff know that absolutely under no circumstances are they to set you
up with friends, in the sense to ask someone to be your friend. I had a
group of friends (who I thought were my friends, anyway) in middle school
who I have very strong reason to suspect, although I could never prove it,
that my aid at the time or someone else asked them to feel sorry for me and
to be my friends. Anyway, once I pretty much figured it out, It served as a
very strong source of humiliation for me and I hope nobody else has hod to
go through that. 

I am sorry for the overall tone of this email being negative. I am sure most
of you have had good experiences, and I am not trying to discount them or
create a sob story. I am just trying to paint a full  picture here. 

-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Kirt via nabs-l
Sent: Friday, August 29, 2014 8:59 PM
To: louvins at gmail.com; National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] highschool question

This is fascinating. High school was when I first started to realize, if
only subconsciously, that most people don't treat me like a normal person
and blindness is pretty much the main reason. It's gotten better since, as
I've learned to balance quality humor with genuine competence, but it's not
an easy thing.

Sent from my iPhone

> On Aug 29, 2014, at 6:27 PM, Joshua Hendrickson via nabs-l
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Hello to Anna and all.  I agree with what has already been said.
> Don't be afraid to joke around about your blindness if you are 
> comfortable doing that.  I always used to joke around in college 
> classes when I felt the time was right.  I got a lot of pretty good 
> laughs from students from time to time.  I've also had a class of 
> students become silent after I've made a joke and the teacher being 
> afraid of offending me which I thought was pretty funny, since I'd 
> been the one who made the joke in the first place.  Don't be afraid to 
> talk to people around you.  If someone asks you a question about 
> blindness answer the question if you can.  One time, I had a girl 
> after one of my college math classes aproach me, and ask me some 
> questions about what it was like being blind.  She wasn't even in my 
> usual math class.  I answered her questions, then she came up to me in 
> the studen center a few days later, and asked me a question, that I 
> had never thought about.  She asked me how do you talk to a blind 
> person?  I didn't laugh, although, I thought this was a different 
> question.  I told her, you talk to a blind person the same way you 
> talk to a sighted person.  Making friends can be very nice.  Good 
> luck.
> 
>> On 8/29/14, Sofia Gallo via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> Totally agree with Marissa, I've had a similar experience and I joke 
>> about stuff all the time (smile)
>> 
>>> On 8/29/14, Marissa Tejeda via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>> I know this may sound...  (lack for a word right now).
>>> I have made friends very easily all my life.  High school may seem 
>>> hard, but it really isn't.  (smiles) I'm in the tenth grade, and 
>>> have bunches of friends.  I am in band, but when I play with the 
>>> others, no one notices I'm blind.
>>> It would help if I had some music, but that's a different story.
>>> I did perform in a pep rally last year.  I got two standing 
>>> ovations, (there were two rallies so everyone in the school could 
>>> go).
>>> I sat at a table by myself, one day.  (This was just this week.) Two 
>>> girls sat across from me.  I didn't talk, so they didn't talk to me, 
>>> (same would have happened, had I been able to see).  Then, my 
>>> friends, Michelle and Jessica, came and sat by me.  I started 
>>> talking with them; the two girls that sat across from me were 
>>> friends of there's.  we ended up having a great time and now, I can 
>>> ALMOST tell them by voice.  I still get confused between Michelle 
>>> and Jessica, but I'm getting better.
>>> 
>>> Just be open about it.  This may sound cruel to some, but I'm so 
>>> open about my blindness, I'll joke about it in class.  "I can't see 
>>> the board, can I move?" or someone says, "I'll see you tomorrow, 
>>> Marissa." I'll turn, look at them, and say, "I won't."
>>> It gets people laughing.  I answer questions about being blind, 
>>> whenever I'm asked.  Some people are shy; just say, "It's ok, you 
>>> can ask."
>>> They think they will offend you.  Just let them know that they 
>>> won't.
>>> 
>>> If you need any help, feel free to email me off-list.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: Ana Martinez via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>> Date sent: Fri, 29 Aug 2014 09:08:49 -0600
>>> Subject: [nabs-l] highschool question
>>> 
>>> hi all I have a question, how do you make friends in highschool, for 
>>> me it has been difficult because there a lot of students and in all 
>>> of my classes there are different kids ,
>>> 
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