[nabs-l] question about independence

[Arielle Silverman]

I think it depends on how the help makes you feel and whether or not
it's actually helpful. For example, I once had a pedicurist insist on
putting my shoes on for me, but she didn't really understand how the
ties worked on that particular pair of shoes, and as a result, it was
actually slower for her to do it than for me to do it. I also don't
usually like other people handling my stuff because I can't see where
they're putting it, and it actually inconveniences me more to try to
figure out where my stuff is. So it depends on what you find helpful
in the particular situation. If the way someone is "helping" you is
actually making things more difficult or if it makes you feel
embarrassed or uncomfortable, then of course it's OK to say no. If the
help is actually helpful and doesn't make you feel uncomfortable, then
it may make sense to accept it. Independence doesn't mean declining
help just to prove to others that you are independent, but I think it
does mean being in control of how you are being treated and turning
down interactions that make you uncomfortable.

Arielle

On 3/1/14, Ashley Bramlett <bookwormahb at earthlink.net> wrote:
> Hi Mohammed,
> Sometimes if it's a stranger and I don't feel like have an education
> conversation, I accept the help.
> Saying no can hurt their feelings or force  you to explain stuff you don't
> have time for. in this case, I might accept the help as long as he was  not
> condescending; while cabbys have not offered to do everything for me, they
> have in fact offered me more help than other passengers which I find nice.
> it actually  makes it faster for them to carry my bag to the door and put it
> in the seat; they also walk me to the door or give me directions to it and I
> find this helpful. a sighted person can see this. So it really depends on
> the situation.
>
> Ashley
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Mohamed
> Sent: Saturday, March 01, 2014 10:45 AM
> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [nabs-l] question about independence
>
> Hi all, I have a question about independence.  Earlier, someone
> brought up the what is independence thread.  That reminds me of
> something.  So, this friday, I was in a cab.  I go to school by
> taking cabs.  So, this driver in  particular, he wanted to help
> me  with practically everything.  Putting my stuff in, opening
> the cab's  door, getting into the school, everything.  This is
> what I'm wondering.  When is it best to not accept help, and when
> should I ask for help? In this situation, should I have accepted
> help? Or should I have done what I did, and politely said no?
> Thanks.
>
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