[nabs-l] question about independence

[Mohamed]

I said no, because I wanted to do it  on my own.  It was because 
I was thinking he might  put them somewhere where I wasn't use to 
it.  That's the thing.  I'm just not sure when to accept help, 
and when  not to accept  it.

 ----- Original Message -----
From: Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Sat, 1 Mar 2014 09:48:12 -0700
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] question about independence

I think it depends on how the help makes you feel and whether or 
not
it's actually helpful.  For example, I once had a pedicurist 
insist on
putting my shoes on for me, but she didn't really understand how 
the
ties worked on that particular pair of shoes, and as a result, it 
was
actually slower for her to do it than for me to do it.  I also 
don't
usually like other people handling my stuff because I can't see 
where
they're putting it, and it actually inconveniences me more to try 
to
figure out where my stuff is.  So it depends on what you find 
helpful
in the particular situation.  If the way someone is "helping" you 
is
actually making things more difficult or if it makes you feel
embarrassed or uncomfortable, then of course it's OK to say no.  
If the
help is actually helpful and doesn't make you feel uncomfortable, 
then
it may make sense to accept it.  Independence doesn't mean 
declining
help just to prove to others that you are independent, but I 
think it
does mean being in control of how you are being treated and 
turning
down interactions that make you uncomfortable.

Arielle

On 3/1/14, Ashley Bramlett <bookwormahb at earthlink.net> wrote:
 Hi Mohammed,
 Sometimes if it's a stranger and I don't feel like have an 
education
 conversation, I accept the help.
 Saying no can hurt their feelings or force  you to explain stuff 
you don't
 have time for.  in this case, I might accept the help as long as 
he was  not
 condescending; while cabbys have not offered to do everything 
for me, they
 have in fact offered me more help than other passengers which I 
find nice.
 it actually  makes it faster for them to carry my bag to the 
door and put it
 in the seat; they also walk me to the door or give me directions 
to it and I
 find this helpful.  a sighted person can see this.  So it really 
depends on
 the situation.

 Ashley

 -----Original Message-----
 From: Mohamed
 Sent: Saturday, March 01, 2014 10:45 AM
 To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
 Subject: [nabs-l] question about independence

 Hi all, I have a question about independence.  Earlier, someone
 brought up the what is independence thread.  That reminds me of
 something.  So, this friday, I was in a cab.  I go to school by
 taking cabs.  So, this driver in  particular, he wanted to help
 me  with practically everything.  Putting my stuff in, opening
 the cab's  door, getting into the school, everything.  This is
 what I'm wondering.  When is it best to not accept help, and 
when
 should I ask for help? In this situation, should I have accepted
 help? Or should I have done what I did, and politely said no?
 Thanks.

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