[nabs-l] question about independence

Mon Mar 3 20:57:21 UTC 2014

Sighted people do not care wheather or not you've been to CCB, LCB, or blind 
inc. They want action and not just talk. RJ
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jamie Principato" <blackbyrdfly at gmail.com>
To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list" 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, March 03, 2014 3:45 PM
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] question about independence


> Ol' sighty cares how we do things when considering us for employment, or 
> entering into a contract with us, or deciding whether their kids can sleep 
> over with our kids under our supervision, etc, etc, etc. I had a would-be 
> landlord deny me housing once because he didn't understand how I would 
> climb the stairs into the house, or write a check for the rent, or keep 
> the place clean unassisted by a caregiver. I think if help isn't needed, 
> it's valid to say so and then demonstrate so in hopes of creating one less 
> ignorant person to make life harder for the rest of us. Accept help if you 
> need or want it, but don't do it simply because you don't think it leaves 
> an impression on sighted folks. That seems irresponsible. .
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
>> On Mar 3, 2014, at 11:45 AM, Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at comcast.net> 
>> wrote:
>>
>> Good morning, Antonio,
>>
>>        I'm glad you shed that chip from your shoulder, too! In my 
>> experience, sighted people are most impressed by what they see and  not 
>> so much by what someone is lecturing them about regarding their 
>> particular special interest. So, I tend toward yes, accepting more help 
>> from sighted people than probably do you and your Federationist peers.
>> Also, Antonio, in the end, someone's actual means of achieving don't 
>> matter to l' Sighty. I feel the Federation loses sight of this, as well. 
>> Ol' Sighty cares not how we do something. All that tends to matter to 
>> them is that we do it. If you have a sighted person help you, then so be 
>> it It doesn't matter, in the end.
>>   It's okay for me, though. I am a people person, finding it much more 
>> fulfilling to interact with people than try proving some usually abstract 
>> point about what blind people are able or unable to do. In this way, 
>> blind person can just recruit a shoulder (I walk sighted guide simply by 
>> grabbing a shoulder. This way, you glide seamlessly over that awkward 
>> moment in which ol' Sighty and you try to figure out who is supposed to 
>> grab who's arm.) I appreciate how you said people need to travel in 
>> whichever way works best for them. It is not only about blinks. There are 
>> others inhabiting this earth, with their own special interests and 
>> philosophies. I feel like those wrapped up in Federationism lose sight of 
>> this reality.
>> loving, for today, Car08:58 AM 3/3/2014, you wrote:
>>> Our opinion matters a great deal, since we are a Community that talks 
>>> about independence as a core of our philosophy.
>>>
>>> What I think about another's approach to independence, and how they deal 
>>> with the public will very likely determine how we interact, how close 
>>> friends we are, and how highly we might regard that person in our social 
>>> groups.
>>> This is an interesting question that bears no right answer. We may 
>>> choose to refuse help in such a way that puts people off. That is okay 
>>> at times if that is how we feel at the time, as Arielle said. If I feel 
>>> like taking someone's arm to deal with navigating through tight 
>>> quarters, that is my own call to me. Instead, if I feel like dealing 
>>> with the same environment on my own, independently if you will, someone 
>>> will have a perception of that.
>>>
>>> As a matter of fact, someone will have a perception of everyone know 
>>> matter what they do. If one day I want to deal with airports on my own, 
>>> and another day I choose to accept more assistance, there is nothing 
>>> wrong with my approach on either day.
>>>
>>> If sometimes a stranger grabs me by the jacket to guide me down the 
>>> stairs, you bet I will do something about it. I don't want to lose my 
>>> footing, and tumble down because this person is dragging me over. I may 
>>> not want help, need help, and so I will refuse it, turn it down, and 
>>> will do so very firmly.
>>>
>>> If someone offers me to guide me by the cane, yes by the king, pulling 
>>> it I had of me, I may turn this scenario into a great opportunity to 
>>> educate someone about proper techniques of sighted guide.
>>>
>>> Most likely I will ask to follow the person by the elbow not because 
>>> they need to learn something, but because I need to get somewhere, and 
>>> quick.
>>> Most times I will be put off, and endangered by losing control of how I 
>>> interact during travel, and keep myself safe.
>>>
>>> But there have been a handful of times when I was cool with traveling a 
>>> short distance guided by the cane direction.
>>>
>>> If there are no steps to worry about, and I am not worried about safety, 
>>> I will be guided by Cain.
>>>
>>> Mostly when this happened, there work some cultural differences between 
>>> me, and the guy.
>>>
>>> Consider the Muslim woman who could not have contact with males. She 
>>> offered to help me, and explained her situation. She guided me by Cain, 
>>> and I got to where I was just fine. And she wasn't in any spiritual 
>>> trouble from that.
>>>
>>> We are always being observed by the public. How we behave matters. How 
>>> we feel very safe from time to time, they today, situation to situation. 
>>> It changes with time also.
>>>
>>> But even if you have a day when everyone is doing what you think is the 
>>> right way to interact with the blind, you could be annoyed with 
>>> something or another.
>>>
>>> I remember one day traveling in the city, and being asked over, and 
>>> over, and over by different people at different places at different 
>>> times if I needed help getting somewhere. I wasn't sure how to think 
>>> about this after the 20th time. Do I look that lost?
>>>
>>> That day, I had the choice to be stern, say no, and turn away from help, 
>>> or I could smile, say no, and continue on.
>>>
>>> I'm glad I chose to take the chip off my shoulder that day.
>>>
>>> Antonio
>>>
>>> On Mar 1, 2014, at 2:15 PM, Jamie Principato <blackbyrdfly at gmail.com> 
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>> > If you didn't need his help and didn't really want it, then what you 
>>> > did is fine. Why does our opinion matter?
>>> >
>>> > Sent from my iPhone
>>> >
>>> >> On Mar 1, 2014, at 8:45 AM, Mohamed <malhajamy at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> >>
>>> >> Hi all, I have a question about independence.  Earlier, someone 
>>> >> brought up the what is independence thread.  That reminds me of 
>>> >> something.  So, this friday, I was in a cab.  I go to school by 
>>> >> taking cabs.  So, this driver in  particular, he wanted to help me 
>>> >> with practically everything.  Putting my stuff in, opening the cab's 
>>> >> door, getting into the school, everything.  This is what I'm 
>>> >> wondering.  When is it best to not accept help, and when should I ask 
>>> >> for help? In this situation, should I have accepted help? Or should I 
>>> >> have done what I did, and politely said no?
>>> >> Thanks.
>>> >>
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