[nabs-l] high school question

Sat Sep 6 23:52:28 UTC 2014

Afternoon, whomever you are,

Personally, I am 30 and also don't see the value of mixing much with 
my so-called peers. Growing up, I was always more interested in 
conversations with teachers, always having the feeling other kids 
were holding me at arm's length.
I resented how it felt as though the adults were the one's who 
were  invested in whether I was friends with my peers.
  their And yeah, as was said, my peers were always "nice enough to 
me," but at the end of the day they really don't
>see the true values of being anything closer than an acquaintance.

>would rather know that I am not wanted/do not fit in vs being  someone to
>be pitied.
>
>Part of this dates back to elementary school; quite honestly, I was a weird
>child that not a lot of people, blind or sited wanted to be friends with me.
>There were adults seemingly hovering all over the place, and what elementary
>school child would want to deal with that? That said, I did know a few
>pretty cool people. I was also the target once of an extended period of
>pretty not-so-good teacher behavior, shall we say. I was the kid that was
>quite sad and really did not feel that I could relate to other people my
>age.
>
>Relating is something I still kind of have problems with today. I don't
>really feel that I care that much about today's generation trends such as
>posting enormous amounts of pictures and other weird stuff on social media,
>and obsessing over fashion, for example. I also do not really feel that they
>could relate to day-to-day things with blindness, such as even the small
>things like being annoyed that I had to do one of my TVI's weird assignments
>in study hall verses being able to do my homework. I sometimes have trouble
>coming up with conversation topics with my peers aside from a superficial
>level. I also feel that I am a little more mature (I'm not sure if that's
>the right word) and that I had to grow up a lot more quickly than my sited
>peers.
>
>Anyway, onto the original topic.
>I'd definitely recommend joining some extracurriculars that you like, or
>have an interest in. I'd also try to make sure that you have the
>independence skills to be able to be a valuable contributor to the club and
>not just sit around. You have to be able to prove right from the start that
>you have something to contribute. I've met some of my afquaintances this
>way.
>
>One last thing to be aware of: If this is an issue, I'd make sure that your
>school staff know that absolutely under no circumstances are they to set you
>up with friends, in the sense to ask someone to be your friend. I had a
>group of friends (who I thought were my friends, anyway) in middle school
>who I have very strong reason to suspect, although I could never prove it,
>that my aid at the time or someone else asked them to feel sorry for me and
>to be my friends. Anyway, once I pretty much figured it out, It served as a
>very strong source of humiliation for me and I hope nobody else has hod to
>go through that.
>
>I am sorry for the overall tone of this email being negative. I am sure most
>of you have had good experiences, and I am not trying to discount them or
>create a sob story. I am just trying to paint a full  picture here.
>
>
>
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Kirt via nabs-l
>Sent: Friday, August 29, 2014 8:59 PM
>To: louvins at gmail.com; National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>Subject: Re: [nabs-l] highschool question
>
>This is fascinating. High school was when I first started to realize, if
>only subconsciously, that most people don't treat me like a normal person
>and blindness is pretty much the main reason. It's gotten better since, as
>I've learned to balance quality humor with genuine competence, but it's not
>an easy thing.
>
>Sent from my iPhone
>
> > On Aug 29, 2014, at 6:27 PM, Joshua Hendrickson via nabs-l
><nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> >
> > Hello to Anna and all.  I agree with what has already been said.
> > Don't be afraid to joke around about your blindness if you are
> > comfortable doing that.  I always used to joke around in college
> > classes when I felt the time was right.  I got a lot of pretty good
> > laughs from students from time to time.  I've also had a class of
> > students become silent after I've made a joke and the teacher being
> > afraid of offending me which I thought was pretty funny, since I'd
> > been the one who made the joke in the first place.  Don't be afraid to
> > talk to people around you.  If someone asks you a question about
> > blindness answer the question if you can.  One time, I had a girl
> > after one of my college math classes aproach me, and ask me some
> > questions about what it was like being blind.  She wasn't even in my
> > usual math class.  I answered her questions, then she came up to me in
> > the studen center a few days later, and asked me a question, that I
> > had never thought about.  She asked me how do you talk to a blind
> > person?  I didn't laugh, although, I thought this was a different
> > question.  I told her, you talk to a blind person the same way you
> > talk to a sighted person.  Making friends can be very nice.  Good
> > luck.
> >
> >> On 8/29/14, Sofia Gallo via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> >> Totally agree with Marissa, I've had a similar experience and I joke
> >> about stuff all the time (smile)
> >>
> >>> On 8/29/14, Marissa Tejeda via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> >>> I know this may sound...  (lack for a word right now).
> >>> I have made friends very easily all my life.  High school may seem
> >>> hard, but it really isn't.  (smiles) I'm in the tenth grade, and
> >>> have bunches of friends.  I am in band, but when I play with the
> >>> others, no one notices I'm blind.
> >>> It would help if I had some music, but that's a different story.
> >>> I did perform in a pep rally last year.  I got two standing
> >>> ovations, (there were two rallies so everyone in the school could
> >>> go).
> >>> I sat at a table by myself, one day.  (This was just this week.) Two
> >>> girls sat across from me.  I didn't talk, so they didn't talk to me,
> >>> (same would have happened, had I been able to see).  Then, my
> >>> friends, Michelle and Jessica, came and sat by me.  I started
> >>> talking with them; the two girls that sat across from me were
> >>> friends of there's.  we ended up having a great time and now, I can
> >>> ALMOST tell them by voice.  I still get confused between Michelle
> >>> and Jessica, but I'm getting better.
> >>>
> >>> Just be open about it.  This may sound cruel to some, but I'm so
> >>> open about my blindness, I'll joke about it in class.  "I can't see
> >>> the board, can I move?" or someone says, "I'll see you tomorrow,
> >>> Marissa." I'll turn, look at them, and say, "I won't."
> >>> It gets people laughing.  I answer questions about being blind,
> >>> whenever I'm asked.  Some people are shy; just say, "It's ok, you
> >>> can ask."
> >>> They think they will offend you.  Just let them know that they
> >>> won't.
> >>>
> >>> If you need any help, feel free to email me off-list.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> ----- Original Message -----
> >>> From: Ana Martinez via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> >>> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> >>> Date sent: Fri, 29 Aug 2014 09:08:49 -0600
> >>> Subject: [nabs-l] highschool question
> >>>
> >>> hi all I have a question, how do you make friends in highschool, for
> >>> me it has been difficult because there a lot of students and in all
> >>> of my classes there are different kids ,
> >>>
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