[nabs-l] How to handle creepy blind-obsessed people

Tue Oct 20 03:14:43 UTC 2015

I've heard some really great advice so far! Elizabeth, I really like your
plan. My only concern would be that this man may feel ambushed if Kaiti and
her friend are coming to talk to him out of the blue like this...  Still,
very wise! But seriously Kaiti, if this escalates any farther, or if you
get even the slightest hint that it might, GET HELP! It's unfortunate what
haplened to Alana. It's sickening, actually! Please don't let it happen to
you!

Best,
Kennedy Stomberg

On Mon, Oct 19, 2015 at 7:31 PM, Alana Leonhardy via nabs-l <
nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:

> This sounds very disturbing. I have also encountered a person like this.
> It was right as I was losing my vision that I met this person, and the only
> reason things didn't escalate beyond control is because I moved away. The
> things you mentioned sound very similar, and it sounds like he makes you
> feel really uneasy. People can show interest in the disabled for a number
> of reasons, some good and some not so much. Sometimes it's because they
> think they'll be an easy victim, sometimes they're interested in the person
> as a whole and they're disability doesn't make them uncomfortable or lose
> the attraction, blind and sighted people end up together all the time. But
> sometimes, it's the disability itself that excites the person, like my sick
> ex and maybe the guy you're talking about. I can't say for sure since I
> don't know the man. But if that's what is going on, then the word you've
> used, target, is a good one. I can certainly understand why you may be
> worried for yourself and your friend if you reject his advances, but just
> because he has a creepy fetish doesn't mean he will become violent. My
> advice is to to tell him you're not interested via private Facebook
> message, so there's a record of your saying no and his reaction. There has
> been some good advice offered previously too :)
> I hope I'm overreacting because of my own previously mentioned situation,
> and that your creep is easier to deal with.
> Best of luck,
> Alana
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> > On Oct 18, 2015, at 21:41, Kaiti Shelton via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> wrote:
> >
> > Hi all,
> >
> > I'm sure you're wondering about the strange subject line, but the
> > situation is exactly how it sounds.  This guy started pestering a
> > friend of mine who is also blind on campus, and since we've started a
> > disability organization and have been seen together and he saw my cane
> > he's now starting to do it to me.  Apparently he has some neurological
> > problems that are supposedly controled, but the odd behavior isn't
> > something that we're aware of that can be related to seizure
> > disorders.  He has admitted to my friend that he has a thing for girls
> > with disabilities, and since meeting her has been fascinated by blind
> > chicks.  It was a little disturbing to me when he started sending me
> > really forward facebook messages and mentioned my friend, and when I
> > asked her about it the next day she half-jokingly referred to him as
> > "Her stalker," and told me she'd fill me in further in private, which
> > she did.  He seems fairly harmless for the time being and she's so far
> > been successful in just ignoring him or not giving information, and
> > she certainly made it known that she does not return the liking he
> > says he has for her, but I still am creeped out a bit by the pattern
> > of going after blind chicks.  Obviously I haven't given him any
> > information and have mostly ignored his messages he's been sending me,
> > but I'm a little hesitant to just block him because he'll probably
> > show up to the club meetings now that he knows about them.
> >
> > I've been advised by a male friend of mine to just tell him to back
> > off and leave me alone, but I'll admit that as a woman who is fairly
> > identifyable as the only one with a cane and who is unable to see him
> > coming I don't know if that is the best approach or not.  He hasn't
> > done anything at this point that is reportable, so I don't quite know
> > what the best approach would be.  I am pretty creeped out how he
> > targets disabled women and blind women in particular now, but that
> > isn't a crime in and of itself.  Thankfully I had class the time when
> > he showed up to our table hours for our awareness week on campus, and
> > he didn't show up to the described movie night we just had like he
> > said he was going to.  I usually have chapter meetings for another
> > organization directly after the club meetings so I do have an excuse
> > to leave club by a certain time, but I'm not thrilled by the idea of
> > this dude showing up and being weird with my friend and I while we're
> > trying to get work done, or meeting me in person and making it harder
> > for him to miss me when I'm going about my business on campus.
> >
> > Don't get me wrong---I totally have ignored creepy online people
> > before in the few instances where they have sent me strange facebook
> > chats or what have you, but the fact that this is a sighted dude on my
> > campus who is going after a specific disability is really creepy to me
> > and I do not feel comfortable about it.  Advice?  Also, I do
> > understand that this topic kind of verges on adult conversations, but
> > please keep your responses G or PG as I do not intend to break any
> > list guidelines and nothing grossly inappropriate has happened here.
> >
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