[nabs-l] Joining local chapters

[Arielle Silverman]

Hi Kaiti. I think Elizabeth has some great ideas. Also, what about
joining up with the Cincinnati chapter and attending meetings when you
are home? Could you potentially join both chapters and come to
meetings when you can, and help with projects only that fit your
schedule? I know there are plenty of people who attend multiple
chapter meetings. While getting a board position in either chapter
might not work with your schedule, you could still participate as a
member, on committees etc.
It sounds like the Dayton chapter may be hurting for board members,
and they see you as a smart motivated person with leadership potential
so are trying to entice you to run. It's not a deliberate guilt thing
so much as a "we really need your help" ask. Of course, you need to
set boundaries in your life, and giving up class or work time for
chapter leadership is almost certainly not appropriate. Giving up on
other extracurriculars to which you have already committed your time
is also probably not appropriate since you would be letting other
people down to whom you have already committed work. I think it is
completely acceptable to decline the invitation to run for a board
positionif you are genuinely too busy. In fact, from a leadership
viewpoint, I'd much rather someone do that than agree to be on the
board and then not show up for anything.
That said, if you do have a goal of bringing students into either
chapter, you will want to find out what the best time is for all
students, as your particular time preferences might not overlap with
others. I'm pretty sure that most of my friends back in college would
have balked at a 9AM meeting time, for example. Even if it's just you
and the other two students you mention who are already active, the
three of you coming together to propose a time will be more effective
than just one of you.
Best, Arielle

On 9/20/15, Elizabeth Mohnke via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> Hello Kaiti,
>
> I am sorry to hear you are having so much trouble connecting with a local
> chapter. The all or nothing approach to being involved with the NFB is one
> of the things I do not like about the organization. In this second email,
> you state this is not the NFB you know because you believe it is important
> for other members and chapter leaders to show other people they care about
> them as people in all situations of their lives as members of the
> organization. Perhaps this is not the NFB you know, but it is definitely
> the
> NFB I know, so it really does not surprise me to hear you have been treated
> this way.
>
> I think others have already given you some great suggestions as to how to
> go
> about handling this situation. I agree with what has already been said, so
> I
> will not repeat it. However, I do have some other suggestions for you.
>
> If you are not able to attend the chapter meetings on a regular basis, is
> there any way you could get involved in the chapter by serving on a
> committee that meets at a different time? I know for our chapter, we
> usually
> have a committee who help plan and organize the chapter summer picnic and
> the holiday Christmas party. Perhaps you could serve on such a committee
> even if you are not able to attend the event, or perhaps serving on such a
> committee would make the chapter President more open to changing the time
> and date of the event so you could attend it.
>
> Also, I have heard of some chapters holding Braille club meetings that take
> place at a different date and time than the regular chapter meetings.
> Perhaps you could start something like this to compliment the regular
> chapter meetings providing your schedule and other time commitments would
> allow you to do something like this. Our chapter meetings are more
> businesslike, so lately we have been thinking of things we could do as a
> chapter in a more relaxed environment to get to know each other better. So
> perhaps you could organize something fun like a game night where chapter
> members could play various card games and board games. Or you could
> organize
> something more like a Braille club meeting, book club meeting, or NFB
> philosophy discussions if you are more interested in having a more tailored
> discussion about blindness or the NFB.
>
> I hope this email provides you with some more options regarding how you
> might be able to get involved with a local chapter even if you are not able
> to attend chapter meetings on a regular basis. However, I think it is
> perfectly fine for you not to be involved with a local chapter if it does
> not fit into your schedule. Other members of the chapter may encourage you
> to become more involved with the chapter, but whether or not they make you
> feel guilty about the fact that you are not able to be involved because of
> your schedule is up to you and not them. It is not selfish to put yourself
> first because we are not able to be there for others if we do not look
> after
> ourselves first.
>
> Warm regards,
> Elizabeth
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Kaiti Shelton
> via nabs-l
> Sent: Sunday, September 20, 2015 4:07 PM
> To: jsoro620 at gmail.com; National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Kaiti Shelton <crazy4clarinet104 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Joining local chapters
>
> Thanks all for your comments.  I've hung back since my initial post to see
> what would come from this thread, and it has been well-worth it.
>
> I do recognize that the chapter president has tried to be as accommodating
> as he can for the current chapter members, and especially as I would be the
> new person coming in I can't expect them to shift meetings around to suit
> my
> individual schedule, but I do think the current time could be problematic.
> The president keeps saying, "You should join because we want more students
> like you in the chapter," but if that is the case most of the people he'd
> be
> looking at are pretty busy with extracurriculars on the weekends.
>
> I remember last December durring my finals week I got a call around
> 9:00 in the morning from one of the chapter board members asking if I would
> be attending the spaghetti dinner I mentioned before.  I told her it
> coincided with an exam I had that night starting at 5:00 (it was a night
> class).  She said, "But we have a board position up for grabs," like she
> was
> trying to entice me to coming in even though I had a *final exam* in a
> class
> that I couldn't miss.  That's the kind of thing that happens; they want me
> to drop everything for the chapter, and while the chapter is important I am
> not prepared or willing to do that.  The same happens when I tell the
> president that I can't attend October's meeting, or the January meetings,
> because I will be home in Cincinnati with my family.  I'm not going to go
> home and have my family drive me back to Dayton for the meeting because we
> wouldn't be able to go back home again, and I'd like to take my midterm
> breaks like every other student does.  That situation is a bit different
> because in theory I could stay at my house on campus for the rest of break,
> but I'd be giving up at least 2 days that I could spend with family when I
> don't go home much over the semester to begin with.
> This is precisely why I can't attend October's meeting this year; it falls
> on the Saturday that is durring our fall break.
>
> There are a ton of blind students who attend the other university in the
> area, but I don't know who they are.  I've tried reaching out to disability
> services staff to circulate information on the student division and have
> been unsuccessful in reaching anyone from the school.  I know a grand total
> of 3 other blind people in their twenties in the area; 2 are already in
> contact with the chapter president, and the other is affiliated with ACB.
> Furthermore on the other college issue, the chapter president has said
> before that he wanted to collaborate with me to put on some information
> session at the other college to see if the blind students would come out to
> hear about the chapter, the student division, and have free pizza or
> something.  I started by trying to contact people who could help set that
> up
> at the school, but I haven't heard anything more from him on it.  It makes
> telling whether or not he wants students in the chapter very confusing.
>
> I know personally week nights would work better for me, or Saturdays
> earlier
> in the day.  I'm also able to do almost anything on Sundays, though that
> could be problematic with people who want to go to church.
> I'd much rather get up early and go to a 9:00 AM chapter meeting because A
> it's free in my schedule, and B it's earlier in the day so I can still get
> things done like grocery runs and things of that nature.
> There really isn't a good way to pole what would work better for students
> as
> a collective, though.
>
>
>
> I'm very interested in the deeper issue Arielle singled out in her message,
> because that really is the route of the problem.  Perhaps it has to do a
> little bit with the tone of the ways I have been asked to come to chapter
> meetings and how I feel there is a disregard for student life going on
> (someone else mentioned that disconnect between the older and younger
> generations as well), but I feel from the chapter that I am being pressured
> to choose between student life, which is limitted at this point, and
> joining
> the NFB.  In frustration I've said no to the chapter to this point because
> with the student division in Ohio and affiliate projects I feel like I'm
> getting the best of both worlds.  I don't feel like using a board position
> to try to entice a student to the meetings when they are upfront about
> having to take a final exam is very good, nor is the backlash I have been
> getting when I say, "This happens on the same weekend as fall break, "
> or "My fraternity is initiating new members today and attendance is
> mandatory by all chapter members/I'm a part of the ritual."  Or, "It's
> Christmas break and I'm not in Dayton right now."
>
> The one thing that does puzzle me is along the lines of what Darian was
> saying.  It is possible that the chapter president has gotten excuses from
> students before, but if you hear the same "excuses" over and over again I
> would think that, especially if they come from different people including
> those who already support the Federation, they might be legitimate
> conflicts
> with chapter meetings that I would examine further to allow for the younger
> generation to better attend.
> If he were to ask more questions to get a better answer he might not be so
> disconnected.  Right now it just seems like he's only concerned for the
> chapter, not the potential members who would be joining.
> That's not the NFB I know at all.  Without members we do not have chapters,
> so it is important to show that we care about each other as people in
> different life situations in order to foster a sense of community within
> the
> chapter organizations.
>
> I might mention this to my state president, but at this point it's not my
> top priority.  Now that I have a better sense of how to handle it I don't
> feel a rush to do so.  I can't attend at least the October and the December
> meetings anyway, so this semester is pretty much a wash to begin with.
>
> On 9/18/15, Joe via nabs-l <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> Kaiti,
>>
>> I experienced something similar. Now as a working professional, my
>> time is very limited, but I wanted to get back into the Federation on
>> a limited basis, at least to start. I was hoping to write grants or do
>> marketing for my affiliate. Unfortunately the president's larger
>> priority was me organizing a chapter in my local area, and flattered
>> though I was to be considered for the task, I knew I did not have the
>> time to commit to get the job done right. Could I gather a group of
>> prospective members? Yes. Could I whip them into a self-sustained
>> group that would last beyond the first two or three meetings? Not
>> likely. Like others have pointed out, finding the perfect meeting time
>> for a chapter meeting is a difficult task, but a good leader at any
>> level of the organization would maximize the assistance anyone could
>> contribute, whether it be in person or remotely, once a week or once a
>> month. I'm going to sound like my own former state affiliate president
>> here, but another option worth considering is organizing a student
>> group on campus that would give you the flexibility to set a time that
>> is both convenient and a location that is accessible for you guys.
>> Alternatively, perhaps there is a chapter at-large in your affiliate
>> that would allow you to remain connected and involved in some
>> capacity. Either way, I think it commendable of you to be concerned
>> enough to want to know how to stay active in the organization. My
>> final thought is that you could be at a season in your life where NABS
>> is sufficient given your current schedule. It would be great if
>> everyone could sacrifice time and energy for the NFB, but then, we'd
>> be sacrificing the opportunities of accomplishment we're advocating
>> for. If pressed to choose between attending a meeting or being a
>> productive contributor to my community at-large, I'd choose the
>> second. That seems a bit blunt, but that's part of the ongoing
>> disconnect between the older generation and the younger membership.
>>
>> Joe
>>
>> --
>> Musings of a Work in Progress:
>> www.JoeOrozco.com/
>>
>> Twitter: @ScribblingJoe
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Kaiti
>> Shelton via nabs-l
>> Sent: Friday, September 18, 2015 3:41 AM
>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> Cc: Kaiti Shelton
>> Subject: [nabs-l] Joining local chapters
>>
>> Hi all,
>>
>> I realize this thread may very well spark some debate, but I'm
>> prepared for that.  For the past two years I've had a dilemma and I'm
>> trying to explain it to a chapter president in my affiliate.  I live
>> in one city and attend school in another, so there off the bat is no
>> way I'd be able to attend either chapter's meetings on a monthly basis as
> I would like to do.
>> Chapter
>> presidents in both cities at different times have told me I should
>> join and even consider running for a board position, which I will not
>> do because of my inability to faithfully attend the meetings.  One of
>> the two chapters gets this a little better than the other now, and has
>> pretty much given me a "come when you can, we'd love to have you when
>> we can get you here,"
>> reception.
>> The other chapter is near where I go to school, but the chapter
>> president doesn't seem to get the student thing.  I try to go to
>> things when I can, but I partially dread it because every time I
>> attend some social function the floodgates for this conversation are
>> opened again.  I'm told again that I am needed in the chapter, that I
>> can really make a difference, and if I join more students will join
>> and the chapter is not by any means comprised of young people.
>>
>> This has been happening for two years at least, and I feel a little
>> confused and pressured to join.  I know he is doing his job as a
>> chapter president, especially because he knows I'm active and
>> dedicated to the student division, the affiliate, and other projects
>> in the NFB, but being in that older crowd I don't think he understands
>> what it is like for students anymore.  In my sophomore year I had
>> difficulty attending chapter meetings for a few reasons.  One was that
>> they are on the first Saturday or the month, which conflicts with
>> nearly every break from school I have including the two midterm breaks
>> and the Christmas break.  The Christmas spaghetti dinner is also
>> something the chapter tries to get me to come to, but it is always
>> scheduled durring my finals week.  When I worked on Saturdays at a
>> part time job my sophomore year they wanted me to take off work to
>> attend chapter meetings.  At the time that was my grocery money, so
>> giving work wasn't something I was willing to do; I wanted to pick up
>> extra hours, not throw them away.  I also have been in a professional
>> music fraternity since the spring semester of my Freshman year, and a
>> lot of our major events (recruitment events, initiations and pledging
>> ceremonies, etc) happen on Saturdays.  With the chapter meetings
>> scheduled from 1:00-3:00 PM, not to mention the location is subject to
>> change from place to place so students can't plan for consistency, I have
> had difficulty in getting there.
>>
>> I've emailed the chapter president a few times about how there is a
>> double-standard here.  He wants new blood in the chapter, but when I
>> tell him it is very difficult to add in chapter meetings when the time
>> isn't very accessible to me he thumbs his nose and tells me I should
>> cancel work or do what it takes to come to chapter meetings because it
>> would benefit the chapter.  I try to explain to him that while I do
>> understand personal sacrifices can and should be made to an extent,
>> students do not have as much flexibility as working people to move
>> classes around in the week, and there are only so many hours in the
>> weekend.  Not to mention extracurriculars are a good thing for blind
>> students to be involved in because it shows peers that we can be
>> engaged and active in the same ways as they are.  It also creates
>> networking opportunities and even job prospects after graduation as
>> long as the extracurriculars are not merely social in nature, which
>> mine are not.  I want to join the local chapter nearby, but I also
>> want to experience life as a student too in the year or so I have left
>> of undergrad.
>>
>> I don't think this makes me a lazy Federationist as I have found ways
>> to be active in divisions and in the affiliate outside of chapters,
>> and I would venture to guess that 1:00-3:00 PM on a Saturday probably
>> isn't great for most students since it's right in the middle of the
>> day.  I did not send the email I drafted, but I feel like if the
>> chapter needs and wants students to join as badly as they say they do,
>> they need to make the meeting time more accessible to that group of
>> people.  Right now I know it is not for me, and I think that is also
>> the case for other highly-involved and motivated students who the
>> president would like to see join the chapter.
>>
>> Thoughts?  I personally don't think I'm fully in the wrong here, but I
>> am open to anything at this point. I really would join the local
>> chapter if it were held at times that I could consistently attend.
>> Right now I'm able to make it to a scattered couple of social events
>> outside of the regular meeting times, but that's about it.  I've
>> prooven to be involved in the affiliate on committees and in other
>> projects including BELL, but right now I feel like joining either of
>> these chapters isn't a possibility for me and I'm not appreciating the
>> push-back for my reasons why.  It's not that I'm making excuses or
>> because I don't want to go; I think work conflicts and required
>> fraternity events which I will only be able to have for a year longer
>> tops are acceptable reasons to be absent, not to mention that when I'm
>> home traveling an hour to the meeting and then another hour back home
>> 2 hours later is a bit much to ask.  I suppose my logic is that I am
>> already a Federationist and I can join a chapter when the time is
>> right for me to do so, and by that I mean when I can actively
>> contribute in a stable and dedicated way.  That will most likely come
>> when I have a 40 hour work week like the rest of the current chapter
>> if they don't take their desire for student members and what is
>> accessible to them into consideration.
>> --
>> Kaiti Shelton
>> University of Dayton-Music Therapy
>> President, Ohio Association of Blind Students 2013-Present Secretary,
>> The National Federation of the Blind Performing Arts Division
>> 2015-2016
>>
>> "You can live the life you want; blindness is not what holds you back!"
>>
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>
>
> --
> Kaiti Shelton
> University of Dayton-Music Therapy
> President, Ohio Association of Blind Students 2013-Present Secretary, The
> National Federation of the Blind Performing Arts Division 2015-2016
>
> "You can live the life you want; blindness is not what holds you back!"
>
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