[nabs-l] More Questions About the Disabilities Office and Readers

[Lizzy]

Hi Elizabeth,
Before I address the current situation, I just want to say that I 
wish nothing but the best for you this semester.  From what I've 
observed, you've received a lot of thoughtful advice lately (as 
far as the questions you've posted to this list).   It may not 
always be useful to you, but it is almost always thoughtful and 
from a place of well wishing.  That said, I don't think it's fair 
that when people take the time out to respond to your questions 
you end the thread by saying that you wish you never would have 
posted them in the first place.  I know that we may not 
understand your situation completely, but I don't understand why 
you are treating the same people who want to help you (at your 
request) with such disregard.  It's very off putting and really 
makes me hesitant to respond at all.  But alas, I want to assist 
in any way I can and even if a response doesn't help you today, 
hopefully it will help in the future or maybe someone else in a 
similar situation.  I said all that to say, I genuinely hope this 
thread doesn't end like the previous one.  Now, on to the advice:
	I agree with Justin, you don't want people making major 
decisions without you present, but the way to bring this up 
is by showing that you are a hands-on student.  Meeting with 
the DS coordinator at your school so that you can form a 
positive working relationship with that person, meeting with 
your professors during office hours or scheduled 
appointments, meeting with your reader and not always 
necessarily in an "OK, let's get to work" kind of manner.  
You discussed firing your reader (and the reason wasn't 
exactly clear to me in your previous email), and paying 
someone else in coffee.  If you can find it in your heart to 
keep the reader you have and appreciate their services a bit 
more (perhaps with a random coffee of appreciation?), you 
might have a better relationship with that person as well.  
Now that you know about these 3 people meeting with each 
other without your prior knowledge, it's time to strengthen 
each relationship so that you can get the result you want.  
They will automatically think to include you, if they know 
you personally because they'll value your opinion and want 
to know what you think.  It won't take too much time to grab 
a quick coffee, drop by office hours and pop into the 
Disabilities Services office.  You don't have to stay long 
or do this every week, just get them to know your face and 
who you are as a person.  Someone who wants to do well, 
appreciates the work that these people are putting 
in-everyone wants to be appreciated-and cares about how 
things are done.  Who wouldn't want to include someone like 
that?
	There's no need to go into the situation with guns blazing, 
especially if they want to be accommodating and you don't 
have the support behind you to go all out.  Remember that 
you'll catch more flies with honey and only want to resort 
to vinegar if you must.
I really hope this helps you!
Best wishes,
Lizzy