[nabs-l] More Questions About the Disabilities Office and Readers

[Carly Mihalakis]

Good morning, Lizzy and Elizabeth,

Elizabeth, hopefully you took Lizzy's thoughtful but pragmatic advice 
to heart, I'm sure she hopes your time to wash over you 
more  seamlessly and gently. And yes, when people take a personal 
interest in your success, however that may look, then you need not 
approach every scenario with, as Lizzy said, the guns blazing. A way 
to insure your professors don't disregard you as a person and as an 
academic, a blind one at that, from what I've found out, is to 
cultivate personal relationships with staff, providing, of course, 
that persuing such personal contacts makes sense.
So, rather than assume a defensive approach if there arrise some 
interpersonal conflicts surrounding your blindness, you might simply 
put in the work necessary to cultivate a hopefully reciprical 
sharing? Just a thought.
Thank you, Lizzy. Extremely well said!
Car
's thoughtful yet pragmatic letter to heart. At 06:26 AM 10/25/2016, 
Lizzy via NABS-L wrote:
>Hi Elizabeth,
>Before I address the current situation, I just want to say that I 
>wish nothing but the best for you this semester.  From what I've 
>observed, you've received a lot of thoughtful advice lately (as far 
>as the questions you've posted to this list).   It may not always be 
>useful to you, but it is almost always thoughtful and from a place 
>of well wishing.  That said, I don't think it's fair that when 
>people take the time out to respond to your questions you end the 
>thread by saying that you wish you never would have posted them in 
>the first place.  I know that we may not understand your situation 
>completely, but I don't understand why you are treating the same 
>people who want to help you (at your request) with such 
>disregard.  It's very off putting and really makes me hesitant to 
>respond at all.  But alas, I want to assist in any way I can and 
>even if a response doesn't help you today, hopefully it will help in 
>the future or maybe someone else in a similar situation.  I said all 
>that to say, I genuinely hope this thread doesn't end like the 
>previous one.  Now, on to the advice:
>         I agree with Justin, you don't want people making major 
> decisions without you present, but the way to bring this up is by 
> showing that you are a hands-on student.  Meeting with the DS 
> coordinator at your school so that you can form a positive working 
> relationship with that person, meeting with your professors during 
> office hours or scheduled appointments, meeting with your reader 
> and not always necessarily in an "OK, let's get to work" kind of manner.
>You discussed firing your reader (and the reason wasn't exactly 
>clear to me in your previous email), and paying someone else in 
>coffee.  If you can find it in your heart to keep the reader you 
>have and appreciate their services a bit more (perhaps with a random 
>coffee of appreciation?), you might have a better relationship with 
>that person as well.
>Now that you know about these 3 people meeting with each other 
>without your prior knowledge, it's time to strengthen each 
>relationship so that you can get the result you want.
>They will automatically think to include you, if they know you 
>personally because they'll value your opinion and want to know what 
>you think.  It won't take too much time to grab a quick coffee, drop 
>by office hours and pop into the Disabilities Services office.  You 
>don't have to stay long or do this every week, just get them to know 
>your face and who you are as a person.  Someone who wants to do 
>well, appreciates the work that these people are putting in-everyone 
>wants to be appreciated-and cares about how things are done.  Who 
>wouldn't want to include someone like that?
>         There's no need to go into the situation with guns blazing, 
> especially if they want to be accommodating and you don't have the 
> support behind you to go all out.  Remember that you'll catch more 
> flies with honey and only want to resort to vinegar if you must.
>I really hope this helps you!
>Best wishes,
>Lizzy
>
>_______________________________________________
>NABS-L mailing list
>NABS-L at nfbnet.org
>http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for NABS-L:
>http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/carlymih%40comcast.net