[nabs-l] More Questions About the Disabilities Office and Readers

Wed Oct 26 01:12:18 UTC 2016

Hello Vejas,

Please forgive me, but I am simply tired of hearing people tell me that I am somehow doing something wrong or that this situation is somehow my fault. I have tried every suggestion that has been made on here, and nothing seems to be working. 

The only thing that has changed since I first posted my questions is that I have decided that I simply cannot find another reader to replace the reader that has been assigned to me by the disabilities office. Something else has come up in my personal life that simply makes this too difficult for me to do right now. And even though there is a lot of tension and friction between me and my reader, at least she was willing to go out of her way to show me some of the concepts my professor was not willing to explain to me during our lab session yesterday. I really did not want to deal with this tension and friction between me and my reader for the rest of the semester, but I am not so sure where I will be able to find a reader for free right now given what is going on in my personal life. 

I am simply doing my best to deal with this situation the best way that I can. However, this situation has caused a lot of unnecessary stress for me, and I know I do not always communicate well with others when I am tired and frustrated. I am sorry if any of my posts to the email list have offended anyone. From here on out I will post my questions to people individually rather than post them here on the NABS email list.

Elizabeth

-----Original Message-----
From: NABS-L [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Vejas Vasiliauskas via NABS-L
Sent: Tuesday, October 25, 2016 3:01 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Vejas Vasiliauskas <alpineimagination at gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] More Questions About the Disabilities Office and Readers

Elizabeth, you  should not feel the need to tell people that their attempts at trying to help you are not applicable. Lizzy gave you some great suggestions that, as she pointed out, could be helpful to you or anyone else. All you really should have said was something like "Thank you so much Lizzy, I appreciate your suggestions and will keep them stored in the future."
You keep writing to a group of people who try to help you,  then when we do  you find a reason that this help is not good enough. I know that life can be hard at times, but it is important to have a positive outlook.
If you can't deal with writing to a board, maybe you could confide in a close friend about your issues? Alternatively, you could just try to figure them out for yourself. 
You need to figure out how to deal with life because if you don't, then nothing will ever satisfy you. How do you want people to remember by when they think of your name? Just think about this.
Vejas     

> On Oct 25, 2016, at 08:06, Elizabeth Mohnke via NABS-L <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Hello Lizzy,
> 
> I am sorry you feel as though my feelings of frustration regarding some of the responses I received from my most recent posts on this email list are not warranted. However, there were some responses that I received that did not come across to me as coming from a place of kindness that escalated further off list that I simply did not appreciate. 
> 
> I think your suggestions are good ones. However, they simply are not applicable to my situation. My reader that is assigned to work with me from the disabilities office is either not willing or is not able to talk to me directly about any problems she may be having with me. I am not able to talk to my professor as she is really not that great of a professor who simply does not understand the concept that I want to be able to participate in class as an equal. And the person in charge of the disabilities office is not willing to talk to me either despite the emails I have sent her requesting to meet with her.
> 
> Since the professor does not appear to be all accommodating, and likes to do things rather randomly, including class activities using hard copy print that needs to be handed in at the end of the class period. Also, not necessarily everything on the print handouts can be read with a Screen reader. However, I thought I would be able to make it through this class as I felt as though I had a good working relationship with my reader. I figured using a reader in class for the full duration of the class period would be the best way to deal with the random teaching style of my professor.
> 
> However, this seemed to change all of a sudden last week. I am still not completely sure what exactly is causing the problem. However, based on the questions the person in charge of the disabilities office had for my professor, it looks as though there might have been some questions as to whether or not I really needed a reader for the full duration of my class period. However, I can only assume this might be the problem as no one appears to want to talk to me directly about anything in regards to this issue.
> 
> I appreciate different perspectives regarding policies and procedures about the person in charge of the disabilities office contacting my professor without my permission or talking to me about it first. It seems as though the people on here who have offered different perspectives either knew about the person in charge of the disabilities office contacting the professor ahead of time, or had a good relationship with the person in charge of the disabilities office. Unfortunately, this is not the case for me. I cannot even speak to the person in charge of the disabilities office in person or over the phone as she is simply too busy to talk to me.
> 
> I feel as though if there was an agreement for the disabilities office to provide me with in-class assistance with a reader for the full duration of the class period, and if the disabilities has somehow changed their willingness to provide me with this service, or no longer wish to provide this service to me, then this is a discussion either the person in charge of the disabilities office or my assigned reader from the disabilities office should be having with me and not my professor.
> 
> I have already tried talking to my professor at the end of class as well as during her office hours. However, the last time I showed up to her office hours, she did not want to take the time to talk to me as she felt as though my questions would be answered during class that day. It seemed as though she was more interested in preparing for class than she was in talking to me regarding the questions I had about concepts from class I was not understanding based on the way she presented these concepts in class.
> 
> Likewise, the person in charge of the disabilities office is never available to talk to whenever I have tried stopping by the Student Support Services desk either. And this situation has caused a lot of tension and friction between me and my assigned reader from the disabilities office to the point that it makes it rather difficult to work with her. And I have absolutely no idea how to talk to her in a more friendly manner when she is barely willing to talk to me about anything besides course content materials.. In short, I have tried all of the suggestions people are giving me, and nothing seems to work to improve the situation.
> 
> Elizabeth
> 
> 
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: NABS-L [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Lizzy via NABS-L
> Sent: Tuesday, October 25, 2016 9:27 AM
> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Cc: Lizzy <lizzym0827 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] More Questions About the Disabilities Office and Readers
> 
> Hi Elizabeth,
> Before I address the current situation, I just want to say that I wish nothing but the best for you this semester.  From what I've observed, you've received a lot of thoughtful advice lately (as 
> far as the questions you've posted to this list).   It may not 
> always be useful to you, but it is almost always thoughtful and from a place of well wishing.  That said, I don't think it's fair that when people take the time out to respond to your questions you end the thread by saying that you wish you never would have posted them in the first place.  I know that we may not understand your situation completely, but I don't understand why you are treating the same people who want to help you (at your
> request) with such disregard.  It's very off putting and really makes me hesitant to respond at all.  But alas, I want to assist in any way I can and even if a response doesn't help you today, hopefully it will help in the future or maybe someone else in a similar situation.  I said all that to say, I genuinely hope this thread doesn't end like the previous one.  Now, on to the advice:
>    I agree with Justin, you don't want people making major decisions without you present, but the way to bring this up is by showing that you are a hands-on student.  Meeting with the DS coordinator at your school so that you can form a positive working relationship with that person, meeting with your professors during office hours or scheduled appointments, meeting with your reader and not always necessarily in an "OK, let's get to work" kind of manner.  
> You discussed firing your reader (and the reason wasn't exactly clear to me in your previous email), and paying someone else in coffee.  If you can find it in your heart to keep the reader you have and appreciate their services a bit more (perhaps with a random coffee of appreciation?), you might have a better relationship with that person as well.  
> Now that you know about these 3 people meeting with each other without your prior knowledge, it's time to strengthen each relationship so that you can get the result you want.  
> They will automatically think to include you, if they know you personally because they'll value your opinion and want to know what you think.  It won't take too much time to grab a quick coffee, drop by office hours and pop into the Disabilities Services office.  You don't have to stay long or do this every week, just get them to know your face and who you are as a person.  Someone who wants to do well, appreciates the work that these people are putting in-everyone wants to be appreciated-and cares about how things are done.  Who wouldn't want to include someone like that?
>    There's no need to go into the situation with guns blazing, especially if they want to be accommodating and you don't have the support behind you to go all out.  Remember that you'll catch more flies with honey and only want to resort to vinegar if you must.
> I really hope this helps you!
> Best wishes,
> Lizzy
> 
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