[NABS-L] Do you Disclose Vision to College Roommates?

Thu Aug 6 02:10:23 UTC 2020

I realize I’m late to the party and this has probably already been said, but I don’t think there’s much point in avoiding disclosure. Blindness is a part of who you are, and if your roommates can’t accept that, they’re not worth your time. Don’t make a big deal out of it—just be casual—and let them ask questions as they come up. They’re less likely to be awkward if you’re not awkward about it. I tried cramming as many blind jokes as possible into my first few conversations to get any residual awkwardness out of the way. Tell them you’re open to questions and most importantly, have confidence in yourself. If they don’t react well, you can try to make that an educational moment if you like. You’re going to make plenty of friends anyway though, and you have our support. If you want to have a more in-depth conversation, I’m available off list. 

Best,
CXB 

Sent from my iPhone

> On Aug 5, 2020, at 18:23, Cory McMahon via NABS-L <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> I will forever appreciate my friend, Gary, and his sense of humor!
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Cory McMahon
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: NABS-L <nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Gary Wunder via NABS-L
> Sent: Wednesday, August 5, 2020 8:05 PM
> To: 'National Association of Blind Students mailing list' <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Gary Wunder <garywunder at me.com>
> Subject: Re: [NABS-L] Do you Disclose Vision to College Roommates?
> 
> That makes sense to me. I think those things can either be done in advance or as easily done face-to-face. Again, I have no real point to sell. There are times when it makes sense to me to speak early about the fact I am blind and at other times it doesn't seem to matter. I've seen this question in relation to dating sites, but I am happily married, am sixty-five, and the only way I'll find myself on a dating site is if I click the wrong link in a spam message. I use Earthlink as one of my accounts, have had the account for about twenty-five years, openly advertised my address as a former national board member and state president, and almost begged people to reach out for help. So on that account I'm on everyone's list--want to grow hair again; want a cure for your arthritis pain; want burial insurance, want help being more frisky with the one you love? Nothing is sacred. I suspect if the algorithms were a little less artificial and a little more intelligent, they'd try selling me carrots to heal my blindness.
> 
> Warmly,
> 
> Gary
> 
> P.S. I congratulate you on being a scholarship winner. I got Covid right before the convention and ducked out of any real responsibility as a mentor. I regret that and even more now that we have had a chance to chat.
> 
> GW
> 
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: NABS-L <nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of nspohn0--- via NABS-L
> Sent: Wednesday, August 5, 2020 3:04 PM
> To: 'National Association of Blind Students mailing list' <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: nspohn0 at gmail.com
> Subject: Re: [NABS-L] Do you Disclose Vision to College Roommates?
> 
> Hi Gary, 
> 
> What I liked about what you said is that it really made me think. I agree that it makes sense to have a reason behind telling someone about your vision. For example, saying "hey as long as you keep the bathroom door shut when you're in there and open it when you are done, we'll be good". Also, "hey since we're sharing a washer and dryer, I might need to put some markings on the washer and dryer so I can do my own laundry". 
> 
> When it comes to living with someone else, that is really the only big things that I can at least think of. 
> 
> Thank you for your response! 
> 
> Regards,
> Nic 
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: NABS-L <nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Gary Wunder via NABS-L
> Sent: Wednesday, August 5, 2020 1:24 PM
> To: 'National Association of Blind Students mailing list' <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Gary Wunder <garywunder at me.com>
> Subject: Re: [NABS-L] Do you Disclose Vision to College Roommates?
> 
> Hi, Nick. I started college in 1973. We did not know who our roommates were going to be so there was no disclosure and no problem. My roommates only reaction was, "Cool dog," and later "I'd appreciate it if you picked up your underwear before my parents once again come to visit." 
> 
> One question for you: What is it about blindness that deserves a heads-up? Sometimes there are good reasons to say I am blind. I want my Uber to yell out to me and not leave because I don't approach. I may want things in a format I can read. But, at least from my limited perspective, you wouldn't tell them that you are white or black; you wouldn't tell them you were fat or tall and skinny; you would be more likely to tell them you snore.
> 
> I have no real feeling about what you should do, but I throw this out for you to think about.
> 
> Gary
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: NABS-L <nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of nspohn0--- via NABS-L
> Sent: Sunday, August 2, 2020 5:46 PM
> To: 'National Association of Blind Students mailing list' <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: nspohn0 at gmail.com
> Subject: Re: [NABS-L] Do you Disclose Vision to College Roomates?
> 
> Hi Justin, 
> 
> I appreciate how you framed both ways of looking at it. 
> 
> Nic 
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: NABS-L <nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Justin Williams via NABS-L
> Sent: Sunday, August 2, 2020 4:50 PM
> To: 'National Association of Blind Students mailing list' <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Justin Williams <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [NABS-L] Do you Disclose Vision to College Roomates?
> 
> So, before I go into my answer, I would like to just say that I'm giving you a differ spin and philosophy to think about.
> 
> No, why would you disclose your disability, in this case, blindness to your college roomates.
> 
> We are not out here to make people comfortable, and ask permission to exist.
> 
> I'll bet none of them are disclosing any hidden disabilities they have to you, ar they?
> 
> If they do, then disclose your blindness if you are so inclined, but you, as far as they should be concerned, are just  another college student.
> 
> Of course, do what makes you feel comfortable, but off handedly, as you think it is, trust me, it isn't because it is super random and not even in their consciousness until you put it there.  
> 
> If you feel more comfortable however, then do it, tell them.
> I don't want to have you be uncomfortable because you didn't do it.
> 
> 
> 
> Thanks,
> Justin
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: NABS-L [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Harry Staley via NABS-L
> Sent: Sunday, August 2, 2020 2:14 PM
> To: tyler at tysdomain.com; National Association of Blind Students mailing list <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Harry Staley <hstaley at nfbtx.org>
> Subject: Re: [NABS-L] Do you Disclose Vision to College Roomates?
> 
> No I didn’t. It actually never came up Iin conversation until a few weeks later after we got to know each other a bit better.
> 
> Harry Staley
> (330) 718-1876
> hstaley at nfbtx.org
> 
>> On Aug 2, 2020, at 12:47, Littlefield, Tyler via NABS-L <nabs-l at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> 
>> Hello:
>> I like to just offhandedly mention it. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm <insert blindness level here>, please feel free to ask me any questions now or at any other point, I'm open to it." It's easier to get that out in a text and give them some chances to figure things out than it is to just be like oh hey I'm blind. If I have the chance to tell someone ahead of time I do, and it tends to make the first meeting and etc less awkward. It also allows them to ask initial questions, even "stupid" ones through text where they have a buffer, and as a result you spend less time awkwardly trying to dance around issues they don't want to ask in person.
>> 
>> HTH,
>>>> On 8/2/2020 1:17 PM, nspohn0--- via NABS-L wrote:
>>> Hi all,
>>> 
>>> 
>>> I will be a college freshman this fall. My Move in day is August 
>>> 22nd, so it is coming up quickly! Do you disclose your visual 
>>> impairment/blindness to your college dorm roommates?
>>> 
>>> 
>>> I will be living in an apartment style. The four of us each have our 
>>> own room and there are two bathrooms, 2 people per bathroom. Students 
>>> are responsible for cleaning the bathrooms among themselves. There 
>>> are also 2 washers and dryers that the four of us will share.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> I have started to text each of my roommates. We have been talking 
>>> about what we are majoring in, things we like to do, etc. I would 
>>> love to have multiple opinions on this.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Regards,
>>> 
>>> Nic
>>> 
>>> 
>>> _______________________________________________
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>> 
>> 
>> --
>> 
>> Take Care,
>> Tyler Littlefield (he/him/his)
>> 
>> Tyler Littlefield Consulting: website development and business 
>> solutions. <http://tylerlittlefield.me> My personal site 
>> <http://tysdomain.com> My Linkedin 
>> <https://www.linkedin.com/in/ty-lerlittlefield> @Sorressean on Twitter 
>> <http://twitter.com/sorressean>
>> 
>> 
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>> g
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