[nagdu] opinions of other blind people

Tue Dec 2 00:30:44 UTC 2008

Marcia,
Your response sounds kind of pressured, if you know what I mean. It feels to
me like you are going through a very hard time and this incident was the
straw that broke the camel's back.  Being let down by people we consider our
friends can make us feel very lonely.  No one is all this or that.  Maybe
the worst offenders need to be segmented off in your reaction to this event.
Perhaps when you are in a better frame of mind you might want to approach
them individually and tell them how what they did made you feel, in a non
accusatory way.  If you can do this, their responses might surprise you.

Above all, stop beating yourself up.
Best wishes,
Jeff

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Marsha
Sent: Monday, December 01, 2008 6:32 PM
To: 'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
Subject: Re: [nagdu] opinions of other blind people

Yes I did invite them into my home, but I will never again. I can understand
the lack of not knowing, but there is a fine line, of those that thing they
are all that with there opinions. Those people I will not have in my home
again. The others, I can accept because if if they do not understand or know
something, they will ask the right questions, in a proper way so that it
will not attack. And yes they threatened, but it is even doubtful that they
will even call, and if they do I am not afraid of that. The guilt is over my
last guide being retired, because I felt that I could have tried harder,
that I was not doing enough, and that I wanted it to work, and the fact of
the matter that the school made me feel as though it was my fault for having
to retire her. When people in my life how I "think" are my friends, make me
feel as thought they are pressuring, they have crossed over the line with
methere is not guilt or fear with those same people that were in my home, it
is more of pressure. 

Marsha

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Jeffrey Schwartz
Sent: Monday, December 01, 2008 5:57 PM
To: 'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
Subject: Re: [nagdu] opinions of other blind people

Marcia,
I have heard you speaking of guilt and even fear.  These folks were supposed
to be your friends.  You put yourself out to entertain them.  I would feel
hurt and angry.  Were they all critical.  It might help to sort them out in
terms of critical, ill informed and simply OK.

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Pickrell, Rebecca M.
Sent: Monday, December 01, 2008 9:07 AM
To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
Subject: Re: [nagdu] opinions of other blind people

If this is your idea of fun, I'd hate to see what your idea of pain is. 
That being said, why are you afraid of these people reporting you to
your school? I would have said, and have said in similar situations
"Bring it on!". 
As for your dog being on tie-down, you know her, you need to do what you
think is best. 
And, people will always have oppinions, regardless if they have actual
experience in a given situation. It's just the way the world works. 
And, oppinions are like butts, everybody's got one, and everybody thinks
theirs is the best. 

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Marsha
Sent: Friday, November 28, 2008 8:51 PM
To: 'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
Subject: Re: [nagdu] opinions of other blind people

Typically any other day her being tied down would only be at certain
parts of the day like if I were to go take the trash to the shoot, or if
someone came to the door and I need to take care of something, or while
I am sleeping.  Her being tied down is never excessive. We are talking
minutes at a time for the first two situations, and as far as the
sleeping thing, I can't trust her not to get up and roam the apartment
yet. But again like I said never ever excessive. 
Marsha  

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of solsticesinger
Sent: Friday, November 28, 2008 5:46 PM
To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
Subject: Re: [nagdu] opinions of other blind people

Marsha,

You know your dog best. You also know what behaviors you are and are not
willing to accept from her. So, if you find it useful to keep her on tie
down, I would say that is the right thing to do.

Personally, I try not to tie Caroline down excessively, just because she
doesn't need it. She behaves herself, and doesn't make too much of a
nuisance of herself. However, I have found, especially when another
guide dog enters my home, some time on leash or tie down works well.

Shannon and Caroline
Who can heal, but one who has healed herself?
Who can know, but one who has asked and sought?
Who can lead, but one who has traveled the way?
--ancient French proverb

----- Original Message -----
From: "Marsha" <queen.marsha.lindsey at gmail.com>
To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'" 
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, November 28, 2008 1:54 PM
Subject: [nagdu] opinions of other blind people

Wanted some thoughts and opinions on this matter, as it has come up
quite a
bit lately. I opened my home to a group of people last weekend, all of
which
do not have guides, but who are blind. Emma being the little turkey she
is,
as she will get into people's drinks and food, into other things and
just
general bug people, but she  spent time with us in the same room but on
tie
down so that she would rest and kinda stay out of the way. When here
with
just me and her she has gained the privilages of just being around off
tie
down. But I have several tie downs in my apartment in various places.
Emma
is always fed and taken to park at the right times. I do not beat her,
or
nor neglect her. But because these blind people know others who have
guides,
and those other people have guides whom are free when people are around,
and
there guides can do what they please. I was threaten to be reported to
my
school. Doubtful that I will be reported, but it is always my saying,
that
because they do not have guides then therefore they have no opinion
because
until you have a dog, train with it, know its personality, know its do
and
don'ts then they can not say any thing. I do not feel I am doint any
thing
wrong. She is a wonderful puppy, works well and seems very happy. But
why is
that people who are blind, who think they know others who have guides,
can
tell another one what to do, how to treat there guide or what to do in
different situations. This really really bugs me to no end. I always
take
the road of maybe educating them on what it is like to have a guide, but
there are just some of those blind people that think they know it all
about
every thing when it comes to blindness. What do you all do in these
situations? I even almost asked the one person who was beating me up
over my
guide and things I do wrong to leave my home, but in the end did not
because
I did not want to ruin the fun. Never mind that, please share with me
what
you would have done?
Thanks in advance for the thoughts,
Marsha and Emma

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