[nagdu] [humor] Seeing Eye Dog Prime Suspect in Toy Slaying

[Angie Matney]

Seeing Eye Dog prime Suspect in Toy Slaying

 

Virginia, April 10, 2009. 

 

The body of Mr. Toy Octopus was discovered yesterday in his Charlottesville
home under suspicious circumstances.

 

"[Mr. Octopus] was the least judgmental toy I ever knew," said Mr. Stuffed
Lamb, a close friend of the deceased. "He welcomed everyone he met with at
least two open arms."

 

The cause of death remains unknown, but officials say evidence suggests
homicide. The prime suspect is one Yani Gg. Shepherd, also
ofCharlottesville. Ms. Shepherd, who works as a Seeing Eye dog for a law
student at the university, was unavailable for comment.

 

Glaze Y. Labrador, Shepherd's roommate and a retired guide herself, has
another theory: "I firmly believe Mr. Octopus's demise was the unfortunate
result of a botched squeakectomy," she stated in a press conference
yesterday. "Yani is young, and squeakectomies can be messy in the best of
circumstances."

 

Shepherd, whose owner is not yet licensed to practice law, is seeking legal
representation. 

 

"Normally, she'd have a hard time finding an attorney who would work for
kibble," said the labrador-poodle mix of a local defense lawyer, who wished
to remain anonymous. "But given the state of the economy, all bets are off."

 

Meanwhile, the toys who knew Octopus continue to grieve. Perhaps they can
find some small comfort in the knowledge that their friend's  rattle and
squeaker were recovered and are suitable for transplantation.