[nagdu] Last Oct. update

[Ed and Toni Eames]

Last Oct. update

Hi all,

I've gotten through a week without my love.  The days are still 
filled with friends, and I am holding up well.  Mornings are the 
hardest with tears of facing the day without Ed.  People keep 
assuring me I have my memories, but I can't go to bed or wake up or 
travel with memories.  I need to reinvent my life.

One shining spot is that my oncologist pronounced me cured of the 
breast cancer I experienced 11 years ago.  However, he did want me to 
have a repeat bone density test.  Another medical chapter?

I didn't want to leave Latrell home alone so soon after losing his 
partner, so Anita and Eric took him on several play dates while I 
took care of chores.  I have signed the official papers adopting him 
from Guide Dogs for the Blind.  While Ed was with me, the cats slept 
in bed and the Goldens on the floor.  Everyone was allowed in bed in 
the morning for a cuddle session.  I haven't been sleeping well in 
the empty bed, so now I get to share the warmth of the dogs 
throughout the night.

For many years Ed chaired two Fresno Committees on ADA issues.  A 
year ago, the committees were dispanded by the city and a disability 
advisory commission established in its place. Ed was not selected to 
be a commissioner, probably because of the outspoken nature of his 
advocacy.  However, he was chosen to receive the first annual DAC 
Achievement award.  Since Ed was in the hospital on Oct. 1 when the 
Fresno City Council presented the beautiful plaque and commemorative 
mug, Paul Kwiatkowski, our Handy Ride paratransit company manager, 
accepted the award for Ed, reading a speech prepared by Ed.  Ed was 
such a tireless worker to make Fresno a disability friendly city, it 
was unfortunate he was unable to receive this award in person.

Last year we were selected to attend an international veterinary 
behavior conference to be held in Kansas City from Oct. 21-25.  Not 
only would we see friends, but also have the opportunity to present a 
new lecture format for us.  We had scheduled a presentation at Bayer 
Animal Health and an evening at Kansas State.  During Ed's first 
hospitalization, it was clear we would have to give up this 
long-awaited trip.  Even through Toni's breast cancer and spinal 
fusion hospitalizations and Ed's heart surgery, we've never had to 
cancel a speaking engagement.  It was disappointing, but necessary, 
and thankfully Cara Miller, a hearing dog partner, covered our material.

My grief is carried in my heart, so despite feeling reluctant, I 
chose to attend the California Council of the Blind convention held 
in Fresno.  Ever since we knew the dates, we intended to participate.

On Thursday, the 29th seven blind folks and I met with Emily Simone, 
field trainer and orientation instructor with GDB, and Brian Jones, 
Fresno traffic engineer, to experience what it is like for a blind 
person with cane or dog to cross a roundabout or traffic circle.  Ed 
had planned this tour many months ago and hoped to have media 
attention.  The experience was valuable with Emily's excellent 
explanations, but no media coverage was had.  In the original plans, 
I was not going to be part of the group, but wanted to do so in Ed's 
honor.  Unfortunately, I was not able to stand for the more than an 
hour presentation, so planted myself on the ground and listened to 
the talk from afar.

On Friday, puppy raiser Mary Flynn drove Keebler, Latrell wearing his 
retired guide dog vest and me to the convention.  I spent some time 
at the GDB table in the exhibit hall, then attended sessions and a 
banquet dinner.  On Saturday, Halloween, Debbie Prieto accompanied us 
back to the Radisson for more convention sessions.  I returned home 
for a well needed break, then Stephanie Stanley returned with us for 
the final banquet.  Sadly, as I knew, my appetite returned and I've 
been eating too much.

Life can change in a flash, so remember to tell your friends and 
loved ones how much they mean to you.  I need to concentrate on that 
last hospital visit when Ed was on such a high and I kissed him 
goodbye with hope and encouragement in my heart.  I need to blot out 
the week of coma and unresponsiveness.

I am planning a memory book to be displayed at the Dec. 12 memorial 
service at the Unitarian Universalist Church.  Our noon celebration 
will feature lots of food, because Ed wouldn't have it any other 
way!  If you haven't already done so, please send an e-mail with your 
special memories of Ed.  Is there a funny incident you can 
recall?  Did he have a specific impact on your life?  Did you have an 
intense conversation about something?  What are your special personal 
memories of this incredible friend and advocate for so many?

Again, I very much appreciate your support.  Please keep it up until 
I can make it on my own.

Toni and Furries