[nagdu] Later Oct. update, Ed died

Tue Oct 27 23:46:39 UTC 2009

Toni,
Sorry to hear about Ed.  My prayers are with you.  He is in the loving arms 
of the Lord and, I think, he will be with us always as we continue the fight 
for our rights as disabled people and as assistance dog users. Ed will be 
missed by us all.

Although I saw both of you at numerous conventions, I enjoyed seeing both of 
you and I appreciate all the work you do.

Yours,

Linda and Landon
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Ed and Toni Eames" <eeames at csufresno.edu>
To: <Recipient list suppressed:>
Sent: Sunday, October 25, 2009 9:05 PM
Subject: Re: [nagdu] Later Oct. update, Ed died

>
>>Oct. 25 2009 update
>>
>>Hi all,
>>
>>Ed did not go to rehab as planned on Oct. 16.  The doctors could not 
>>control his fluctuating high white count, so he stayed at St. Agnes until 
>>he could build strength and endurance.  The first stroke hit on Oct. 9, 
>>and Ed made slow progress during the next few days.  On Tuesday, the 13, 
>>he had a sleepy day, and I was scared.  But on Wednesday, he rallied and 
>>grew stronger and stronger.
>>
>>The first step in physical therapy was getting Ed to sit up in a stretcher 
>>chair.   This is a great device where the patient is rolled from bed onto 
>>a stretcher, strapped in for safety, then gradually raised into a sitting 
>>position.  The lift  Ambulation Team is made up of very muscular men to 
>>help with transfers from bed to chair, and they were extremely nurturent 
>>guys.  Once in the stretcher chair, Ed could be fed his thickened diet. 
>>He never complained about the food and continually practiced the 
>>swallowing techniques recommended by the speech therapist.  Actually, this 
>>swallowing technique is good for those of us who eat too fast.  Each time 
>>you swallow a bite of food, take time to do another swallow with an empty 
>>mouth.  Here's another exercise:  hold the tip of your tongue between your 
>>teeth, keep your chin down and swallow.  If you tackle that, put your 
>>tongue further out between your teeth and swallow.  These exercises were 
>>to enable Ed to eat regular food.  As a food lover, Ed obsessed about 
>>making progress until he could eat a hamburger and drink water and a beer!
>>
>>When Ed was diagnosed with diabetes several years ago, we had many battles 
>>about his not walking around the house barefooted.  When he received a 
>>pair of fleece-lined slippers from Eve Hoopes for the holidays in 2006, he 
>>diligently wore them.  During his hospital stay, he obsessed about having 
>>the slippers handy.  In his mind, they signified walking again.  When the 
>>LAT guys helped him sit in the stretcher chair and later a regular chair, 
>>he insisted on wearing his slippers rather than the hospital socks.
>>
>>Ed became a favorite among staff.  He always treated them with courtesy, 
>>letting them know how much he appreciated their assistance.  As his speech 
>>improved, he chatted with everyone who came into his room.  He appreciated 
>>the many visitors and I needed the distraction of phone calls and friends.
>>
>>On the 18th puppy raiser Mary Flynn took Keebler and Latrell to her home 
>>for a run in her yard.  Then Mary and her daughter Brenna took the Goldens 
>>for a long walk.  It was a wonderful break from the dogs being cooped up 
>>in the hospital room.  Earlier in the week, former puppy raisers Anita and 
>>son Eric took the fur kids on a similar outing.
>>
>>In some ways, Ed was charmingly child-like during this first week.  He 
>>greeted everyone with joy, and practiced leg lifts as prescribed by the 
>>physical therapist, arm stretches advised by the occupational therapist 
>>and swallowing.  His motivation to get well and come home was over the 
>>chart.  We both took joy and encouragement with every success, no matter 
>>how small.
>>My friend Richard Stone suggested I write down my fears, and the list got 
>>pretty long.  Would Ed have significant disabilities requiring us to move 
>>from our two storey town house?  With a left side weakness, would he be 
>>able to work Latrell, or would Latrell need to be trained on the right? 
>>With my spinal stenosis, would I have the physical strength to assist Ed? 
>>The list is a lot longer, but I didn't allow myself to prepare for the 
>>worst!
>>
>>When I arrived with my two precious guides on Saturday, the 17th, Ed was 
>>sitting in a regular chair chatting with the nurse' aid.  After regaling 
>>his morning visitors, he got tired and was put back in bed.  He hadn't 
>>eaten much of his lunch and had already been given an insulin shot.  His 
>>sleep was restless and it turned out he had a hypoglycemic episode.  After 
>>being given sugar by the nurse, he came out of his fog with a almost manic 
>>demeanor.  Dr. Heller, the hospitalist, told Ed rehab was scheduled for 
>>Monday.  Ed was ecstatic and chatted nonstop to the doctor, praising St. 
>>Agnes' open acceptance of our guide dogs, puppy raisers and therapy dogs. 
>>He captured the doctor's interest with reminiscences of hospital access 
>>denials satisfactorily solved through the intervention of IAADP.  Ed's 
>>speech was clear and his cognition perfect.  He was so wound up, he didn't 
>>leave room for anyone else to speak.  When friend and reader Stephanie 
>>Stanley tried to read e-mails to Ed, he kept interrupting with stories and 
>>comments.  When I left him, I finally let myself get truly hopeful that 
>>things would work out!
>>
>>Sunday morning, the phone rang and I thought it was Ed calling with the 
>>assistance of the nurse' aid.  He had done that for the past few days. 
>>Having left on such a high, I was not prepared for the news Ed was now in 
>>a coma.  The staff found him in this condition when they were scheduled to 
>>turn him.  My life, my hopes, my dreams and my partnership were destroyed 
>>in a flash.
>>
>>Extensive tests, CT scans and EEGs showed significant swelling of the 
>>brain and a second, more extensive stroke was suspected.  When I was told, 
>>Ed would be nonfunctioning if he came out of the coma, I made the awful 
>>decision to discontinue all treatments.  If he survived, he would have no 
>>recognition his left side existed, making walking impossible.  He would 
>>have no speech and be fed through a feeding tube.  He would live the rest 
>>of his life in a nursing home.  Ed and I had health directives, and this 
>>was not a life Ed would have wanted.
>>
>>For four days, phenomenal friends kept vigil with me hoping circumstances 
>>would change.  I always thought comas were quiet, but Ed thrashed and 
>>moaned and the hours I spent with him were torture.  I talked to him, 
>>touched him and cried with each nonresponsive moment.  Latrell put paws on 
>>the bed, frantically licked Ed's hand and wagged his Golden joy in seeing 
>>his partner again.  No miracles happened and Ed was transported by 
>>ambulance to the Nancy Hinds Hospice home on Thursday, the 22nd.
>>
>>Ed was so respected and like by the St. Agnes staff that many nurses and 
>>aids cried with me when they realized his goal of rehab and home were not 
>>to be.  He was always so engaging and gave thanks for each bath, feeding, 
>>transfer, antibiotic infusion, taking of vital signs, cleaning him up, and 
>>whatever other intervention was needed.  One aid said she looked forward 
>>to coming to work knowing her day would be filled with assisting Ed and 
>>being welcomed by his big smile.
>>It was torture bringing home the suitcase I packed in readiness for 
>>transfer to the rehab center.  Bringing those slippers home knowing Ed 
>>would never wear them again was the hardest thing.  How do I reconstruct 
>>my life without Ed?  How do I become half of a  team?
>>
>>At first I thought about bringing Ed home with home-based hospice care, 
>>but since he would not know he was home and managing a crew of strangers 
>>in my house with the dogs and cats, seemed illogical.  The Nancy Hinds 
>>Home takes six patients at a time in a home-like residence.  Registered 
>>nurses are working around the clock and pain management is overseen by 
>>doctors.
>>
>>When Linda Haymond drove me to the home, I noted there were no sidewalks, 
>>and commented Ed would not be happy, if only he knew.  The installation of 
>>sidewalks in new developments and throughout Fresno was a big advocacy 
>>goal for Ed  He is being given large doses of morphine and adavan to quiet 
>>his bodily agitation.  The home is pet friendly, so Latrell and Keebler 
>>are most welcome.  I was invited to let the dogs romp in the huge fenced 
>>yard.  Little angelic-looking Keebler took advantage of the opportunity to 
>>dive into a small fountain and spread mud all over her coat!  A good 
>>toweling off made her presentable for lunch in an Indian restaurant.
>>
>>As a young anthropologist, Ed spent three years doing research in India, 
>>fortunately long before I met him.  He loves Indian food and has taught me 
>>to love it, too.  It was the beginning of many experiences and meals I 
>>will no longer be sharing with him.
>>
>>Linda Haymond, Janet Moore, Beth Shea  and Paul Kwiatkowski have held me 
>>up throughout this ordeal with their almost every day visits and vigils. 
>>Dozens of other friends and relatives have visited, phoned, sent cards and 
>>e-mailed.  Debbie Prieto has spent several nights with me and comes in the 
>>morning after her walk to share breakfast with me.  One positive of this 
>>tragedy is that I have lost my appetite and have lost 10 pounds.
>>
>>Thankfully, the hospice has been able to calm Ed's agitation and it is 
>>just a matter of waiting for his body to give up and end the journey.  The 
>>crazy thing is that his heart is strong, but his brain is gone!  Some 
>>people believe coma patients can hear, so we all talk to him and tell him 
>>he can let go.
>>
>>My beloved husband and partner slipped into a quiet death on the morning 
>>of Oct. 25.  To continue his giving back to society, his body was donated 
>>to Western University Medical School in Pomona, CA.
>>
>>I plan to keep Latrell.  He is my connection to Ed.  When Ed's dog Echo 
>>retired, Eleanor Marugo made a lovely vest reading retired guide dog.  We 
>>took Echo to meetings and restaurants.  When I travel again, my friend 
>>Sheila Cary has offered to take Latrell and bring him to work, so he isn't 
>>alone during the day.  Keebler is very attached to Latrell and would be 
>>very lonely without him.  He is eight and too old to retrain with another 
>>handler.  I love this goofy canine and don't anticipate a problem keeping 
>>him.
>>
>>I hope you will honor Ed's life and works by supporting the organizations 
>>he most loved.  Donations to IAADP can be made at www.iaadp.org or phoning 
>>Newsreel for a credit card donation at 614-469-0700.  Checks to these 
>>organizations can also be sent to me at 3376 North Wishon, Fresno, CA 
>>93704.
>>
>>A memorial service will be held in early December.  I will feature the 
>>many plaques honoring his achievements.  I also want to assemble a book of 
>>e-mail remembrances.  Please write your special thoughts, fun stories and 
>>comments about what Ed has personally meant to you and to the greater 
>>community.  Please put memories of Ed in the subject line and send it to 
>>me at eeames at csufresno.edu.
>>
>>I cannot emphasize enough how important you all were in supporting me 
>>through this tragedy.  It kept me going and I'll need much more in the 
>>months to come.  Thanks for your love, your prayers and your many hours of 
>>hand-holding and hugs in the hospital and hospice home.
>>
>>Toni and Furries
>>
>>
>
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>
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