[nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful

Thu Feb 11 07:42:26 UTC 2010

Mark,

Yeah, that fear of letting a young adult -- or nearly young adult -- child
grow up seems to be something all parents have to struggle with.  From the
youngster's point of view, of course, they're the one struggling to grow up.
/smile/

I was thinking about what you have said so far from a sort of generalized
parents' angle, and it suddenly struck me that a guide dog is one powerful
symbol of independence in our culture.  Somehow a guide dog is often seen as
"giving" independence, where a white cane is seen as something one is
dependent upon.  I do not believe that either thing is true; however, those
preconceptions do seem be part of our collective subconscious these days.

I can't begin to know what your parents are thinking or feeling.  But if
they are in the process of reconciling themselves with the fact of your
growing into the man they've been raising you to be, that symbolism may have
an impact on their reactions to the idea at this point.

I like your attitude and approach.  You're the one doing the growing up and
becoming more independent every day, after all.  That is in no way easy, but
it looks to me like you're doing a relatively good job.  /grin/

Tami Smith-Kinney

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Mark J. Cadigan
Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 11:57 AM
To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful

A part of it is my parent's fear of letting me grow up. Also they want
what's 
best for me, but they don't understand the situation.  There is nothing that

would prevent me from taking care of a dog, ware as I already take care of 
the family pet. My pet dog probably would not like the introduction of 
another dog, but she will get over it.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Albert J Rizzi" <albert at myblindspot.org>
To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'" 
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 2:38 PM
Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful

> So we know the reasons have nothing to do with your mothers supposed fear 
> of
> dogs since you have a dog as a pet. I would think that you are able to
> appreciate the responsibility of caring for a dog since you have one as a
> pet. How much of this has to do with your parents fear of letting you grow
> up and grow into an independent  young man? sometimes parents, with all
> their well intentions  sometimes forget to cut the umbilical  cord and let
> you grow up. Are their any other physical constraints other then your
> eyesight which may be coloring their opinion of your ability to handle the
> responsibility of a guide. Or maybe they are concerned about how the
> introduction of your guide might effect the balance in your home? You may
> try the old Benjamin  Franklin T. make a t on a page. At the left side on
> top put a plus sign and on the other put a negative sign. List out all the
> pros and cons and then one by one make valid supports and reasons for the
> pluses, and with the negatives offer sound and precise resolutions  so 
> that
> the negatives can be turned into positives. Have your parents do one and 
> you
> do your own, then take the time to really assess what their concerns are 
> and
> offer resolutions  which will slowly shift their opinions  to favor 
> yours.
>
> Albert J. Rizzi, M.Ed.
> CEO/Founder
> My Blind Spot, Inc.
> 90 Broad Street - 18th Fl.
> New York, New York  10004
> www.myblindspot.org
> PH: 917-553-0347
> Fax: 212-858-5759
> "The person who says it cannot be done, shouldn't interrupt the one who is
> doing it."
>
>
> Visit us on Facebook LinkedIn
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
> Of Mark J. Cadigan
> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 2:15 PM
> To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>
> Albert,
>
> I have had my parents talk to several blind professionals that say that
> there dog is the secret to there success, but it hasn't worked yet.
> Thanks for your offer
> Mark
>
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Albert J Rizzi" <albert at myblindspot.org>
> To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'"
> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 1:54 PM
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>
>
>> as a new entrant into the blind community I would be hard pressed to not
>> be
>> an advocate for guide dog use over the cane any time any day and any
>> where.
>> My guide helps me navigate the rigors of new york city seamlessly and
>> adeptly. I also never feel insecure or unsure of my path as he is
>> extremely
>> dependable  and reliable  more so then a cane would or could be in my
>> life.
>> Maybe your parents would like to call me to get my feedback. I am
>> available
>> to help you realize your wish for securing a guide. They make  for a 
>> great
>> option in mobility and they are true companions in the simplest sense of
>> the
>> word. I would also think that moving onto college, that having a guide
>> would
>> make perfect sense for oh so many reasons. Peace.
>>
>> Albert J. Rizzi, M.Ed.
>> CEO/Founder
>> My Blind Spot, Inc.
>> 90 Broad Street - 18th Fl.
>> New York, New York  10004
>> www.myblindspot.org
>> PH: 917-553-0347
>> Fax: 212-858-5759
>> "The person who says it cannot be done, shouldn't interrupt the one who 
>> is
>> doing it."
>>
>>
>> Visit us on Facebook LinkedIn
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
>> Behalf
>> Of Dan Weiner
>> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 1:33 PM
>> To: 'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>
>> Well, first question is "Is the reason your parents don't support your
>> idea
>> of getting a dog that they don't like dogs?"--smile.
>> Second of all, what is your parents objection, I mean presumably you're
>> the
>> one who's blind so maybe you might know a little better than they do
>> whether
>> a dog would enhance your lifestyle or not.
>> I'm fortunate that by the time I wanted a dog, my parents had figured out
>> I'd pretty much do what I wanted without permission, so my Dad just asked
>> one or two feeble questions and then left it alone.
>> He asked "Are you sure a dog will be worth the trouble, how do you know
>> it'll work out."
>> I explained that, never having a dog, a guide dog, that is,  I'd need to
>> find it out for myself and I really wanted to take care of the dog and 
>> was
>> ready.
>> When I got home, he admired the dog enormously. But he asked the second
>> day
>> back home if the dog really had to go out with us to breakfast. I said it
>> did, when he seemed to balk I said "I love you Dad, and enjoy going out,
>> but
>> this is important to me and if you don't want my guide dog than I'm 
>> afraid
>
>> I
>> won't be going".
>> Dead silence ensued, and the issue never came up again.  As a matter of
>> fact, my Dad adopted my first hound after he retired and loved him.  The
>> dog, Grant, even went to my Dad's funeral's
>> The only thing I wasn't really ready for was the access issues. Being the
>> brilliant young man I was--smile--it never occurred to me that people
>> would
>> have issues with a dog, I mean access issues to public places.
>>
>> So, tell us more what the problem is and we'll be happy to talk about it.
>> There are some folks on this list who can be very good role models and
>> mentors, I wish there had been such a list when I started out.  But, then
>> I
>> don't think there were such things as computer lists--smile.
>>
>> Good luck
>>
>> Dan W. and the Carter Dog
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
>> Behalf
>> Of Mark J. Cadigan
>> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 1:17 PM
>> To: nagdu at nfbnet.org
>> Subject: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>
>> Hello list,
>>
>> I am new to this list, and I am thinking of getting a guide dog for when 
>> I
>> go to college. The only problem I am having is convincing my parents that
>> a
>> guide dog is a useful mobility tool.  As you can probably guess, that is 
>> a
>> large obstacle. I am currently in high school, so I have to abide by my
>> parent's wishes, or at least for now. What I am asking for is how best to
>> explain to them, that guide dogs are useful mobility tools, that will
>> enhance my independence rather than detract from it. I have given them
>> literature, DVDs and have attempted to talk to them. Any instructional
>> materiel finds its way into the circular file, and they change the 
>> subject
>> when I talk to them. Any and all suggestions are welcome.
>>
>> Thanks
>> Mark
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