[nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
Mark J. Cadigan
kramc11 at gmail.com
Sat Feb 13 15:18:18 UTC 2010
I was definitely thinking about going to the NFB convention. I just was not
planning on dragging my parents along kicking and screeming. As for
scholarships, I am not eligible for any as far as I know.
Thanks
Mark
----- Original Message -----
From: "Marion & Martin" <swampfox1833 at verizon.net>
To: "NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users"
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, February 13, 2010 12:59 AM
Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
> Mark,
> The best advice I can give you on transitioning to a dog or
> transitioning to college is "Don't let it stress you out!" As for doing
> them simultaneously, see previous sentence! (smile) You may not be able to
> control the pressures from the outside, but yu can control your reactions
> to them. Don't sweat the small stuff....it's all small stuff!
> Hey, did you ever think of asking your parents to go with you to an NFB
> convention? You would have an awesome time and your parents would, as
> well!"Oh, sure!" you say to yourself sarcastically, "How much fun it would
> be to have 3000 blind people in one place!"
> Your parents might learn how many mentors there are for you! You could
> bring them to the NAGDU meeting so they could meet 100 or so of the most
> dedicated guide dog users in the country! Yeah, that might be fun!
> Also, have you thought about applying for an NFB scholarship? Maybe you
> getting $3000 - 12,000 might be a way to get them there! What do you plan
> to study in college?
>
> Fraternally yours,
> Marion Gwizdala
>
>
>
>
> Fraternally yours,
> Marion
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Mark J. Cadigan" <kramc11 at gmail.com>
> To: "NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users"
> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, February 11, 2010 10:13 AM
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>
>
>> Thanks again for all of your suggestions. I will use the points made on
>> this list next time I talk to the parents. Any thoughts about
>> transitioning to college and a dog simultaneously?
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Joy Relton" <jrelton at verizon.net>
>> To: "'NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users'"
>> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, February 11, 2010 9:50 AM
>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>
>>
>>> Hi Mark,
>>>
>>> When I went to college I shared my suite with two other women but my
>>> room
>>> was a single. Fortunately I was able to do this, but my reason for
>>> electing
>>> this arrangement had to do with the amount of equipment and the type of
>>> equipment that I used to study, not my dog. In those days, and I'm now
>>> dating myself, we had reel-to-reel machines to use to read the books and
>>> all
>>> other kinds of equipment like a typewriter, a Braille writer and more.
>>> There
>>> weren't computers, Victor Reader Streams or any of that stuff and I
>>> thought
>>> spreading all of my stuff all over the room and taking up more than my
>>> share
>>> would be unfair. My dog, slept next to my bed in the center part of the
>>> suite with the other two women and was never a problem. When I shared
>>> apartments it was never a problem with my room mates. In fact, one of my
>>> room mates went to the doctor and he asked her if there were any animals
>>> in
>>> the apartment that she could be allergic to and she said no. Then the
>>> doctor
>>> asked if she wasn't rooming with me and didn't I have a Seeing Eye Dog?
>>> She
>>> said, oh I didn't even think of Vikki as a dog or any other animal. When
>>> it
>>> was in the dorms or apartment buildings my friends all enjoyed my dog
>>> along
>>> with me. There were rules about not petting while in harness but she
>>> enjoyed
>>> many a game of ball down the halls of the dorm and traveled with me and
>>> my
>>> friends everywhere. I have never had anyone tell me that my dogs were
>>> not
>>> well groomed, or that they smelled and they've been welcome pretty much
>>> anywhere that I have gone. If they weren't and it was a legal issue I
>>> addressed it, if it was the other persons preference I let them deal
>>> with it
>>> and didn't invade their space and ensured that they did the same with
>>> me.
>>>
>>> In fact, the last two dogs that I have had to put to sleep have been so
>>> well
>>> accepted by my church that the members of the choir donated money toward
>>> hymnals and made contributions to the Seeing Eye in their honor. I'd say
>>> that was acceptance. I'm guessing that you'll work out your issues with
>>> your
>>> parents when you let them see that you are an adult who is capable of
>>> handling your life and your life decisions. Be gentle with your parents
>>> though, as the song says "teach your children well, their children's
>>> hell
>>> will slowly go by". In other words, it's probably premature to push the
>>> dog
>>> issue since you don't know yet where you will be. In the mean time,
>>> collect
>>> the facts and meet some folks in the area who are using dogs
>>> successfully.
>>> Then, make your decision based on what's best for you and nicely inform
>>> your
>>> parents. That's what my kids have done. We have the type of relationship
>>> that my husband and I have always sought to ensure that they have the
>>> tools
>>> to make their own decisions and the understanding that, if they make a
>>> mistake they can come for help and support whether or not we agree with
>>> their decision. Talking to your parents on some of these issues will go
>>> further than talking to us, except for gathering information and facts.
>>> Good
>>> luck.
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>>> Behalf
>>> Of Mark J. Cadigan
>>> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 7:59 PM
>>> To: NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users
>>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>>
>>>
>>> Thanks all of you for your suggestions. I like both the Seeing Eye, and
>>> GDB.
>>>
>>> Ware as I live in MA the Seeing Eye is a lot closer. I am a junior in
>>> high
>>> school so I haven't yet decided what college I will be attending. What I
>>> do
>>> know, is I want to be in a big city with access to a good public transit
>>> network such as the MBTA. I currently take the T to and from places all
>>> over
>>>
>>> Boston using my cane. Because of this independence I am having
>>> difficulty
>>> explaining to my parents that a dog would only enhance it making me a
>>> more
>>> competent, safer, and faster traveler. Have any of you ever experienced
>>> complaints about your dog either shedding or smelling bad? Is this a
>>> problem
>>>
>>> with roommates in college? Like most teenagers my room is never clean
>>> for
>>> long, but it is never that messy. I always take excellent care of all my
>>> equipment, and don't see how the maintenance of a dog will be a problem.
>>> My
>>> parents seem to have concerns of how I will maintain a dog in college.
>>> Any
>>> thoughts?
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Albert J Rizzi" <albert at myblindspot.org>
>>> To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'"
>>> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 2:29 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>>
>>>
>>>> First, where are you located? Maybe there is a guide program in your
>>>> area which would allow you to sort of host a dog for sometime until
>>>> the guide is matched up with a handler. This would help to introduce
>>>> your parents to the
>>>> concepts and strength having a guide could and would lend to your
>>>> life.
>>>> You
>>>> could also let them know that their role in your life is to make you as
>>>> completely independent as possible and that the introduction of a guide
>>>> dog
>>>> into your life would do just that. you could also play on their
>>>> sympathies
>>>> by letting them know you are looking to be able to walk independently
>>>> with
>>>> friends and thereby depend less on their eyes and more so on your own
>>>> senses
>>>> coupled with the security and independence a guide would lend to your
>>>> life.
>>>> Where are you intending on going to college? If you are hoping to go
>>>> away,
>>>> your parents would need to understand that a guide would help you to
>>>> move
>>>> swiftly and securely through a campus ensuring your timely attendance
>>>> to
>>>> all
>>>> your classes. Again, maybe a talk with a teacher/principal might help
>>>> advance your crusade.
>>>>
>>>> Albert J. Rizzi, M.Ed.
>>>> CEO/Founder
>>>> My Blind Spot, Inc.
>>>> 90 Broad Street - 18th Fl.
>>>> New York, New York 10004
>>>> www.myblindspot.org
>>>> PH: 917-553-0347
>>>> Fax: 212-858-5759
>>>> "The person who says it cannot be done, shouldn't interrupt the one
>>>> who is doing it."
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Visit us on Facebook LinkedIn
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>>>> Behalf Of Mark J. Cadigan
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 2:11 PM
>>>> To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
>>>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>>>
>>>> Dan W,
>>>>
>>>> My mom claims to be terrified of dogs, but yet we have a pet dog. My
>>>> parents claim that a guide dog will smell, then I point out that if
>>>> you take
>>>>
>>>> care of it properly it won't. Then I point out people we know with
>>>> guide dogs that don't smell. My dad's response to this is to tell this
>>>> story of his friend's son's roommate's friend had a roommate with a
>>>> smelly guide dog.
>>>>
>>>> This happened so long ago, and is so far removed from the situation
>>>> that I can't see how it possibly has any bearing on the current
>>>> situation. Also that story is so convoluted that is impossible to
>>>> verify. And the argument goes on and on Ad nauseam. It is getting to
>>>> the point that I think they are just attempting to exorcize there
>>>> ability to make arbitrary decisions.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: "Dan Weiner" <dcwein at dcwein.cnc.net>
>>>> To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'"
>>>> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 1:33 PM
>>>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Well, first question is "Is the reason your parents don't support
>>>>> your idea of getting a dog that they don't like dogs?"--smile.
>>>>> Second of all, what is your parents objection, I mean presumably
>>>>> you're
>>>>> the
>>>>> one who's blind so maybe you might know a little better than they do
>>>>> whether
>>>>> a dog would enhance your lifestyle or not.
>>>>> I'm fortunate that by the time I wanted a dog, my parents had figured
>>>>> out
>>>>> I'd pretty much do what I wanted without permission, so my Dad just
>>>>> asked
>>>>> one or two feeble questions and then left it alone.
>>>>> He asked "Are you sure a dog will be worth the trouble, how do you
>>>>> know
>>>>> it'll work out."
>>>>> I explained that, never having a dog, a guide dog, that is, I'd need
>>>>> to
>>>>> find it out for myself and I really wanted to take care of the dog and
>>>>> was
>>>>> ready.
>>>>> When I got home, he admired the dog enormously. But he asked the
>>>>> second
>>>>> day
>>>>> back home if the dog really had to go out with us to breakfast. I said
>>>>> it
>>>>> did, when he seemed to balk I said "I love you Dad, and enjoy going
>>>>> out,
>>>>> but
>>>>> this is important to me and if you don't want my guide dog than I'm
>>>>> afraid
>>>>
>>>>> I
>>>>> won't be going".
>>>>> Dead silence ensued, and the issue never came up again. As a matter
>>>>> of fact, my Dad adopted my first hound after he retired and loved
>>>>> him. The dog, Grant, even went to my Dad's funeral's The only thing
>>>>> I wasn't really ready for was the access issues. Being the brilliant
>>>>> young man I was--smile--it never occurred to me that people would
>>>>> have issues with a dog, I mean access issues to public places.
>>>>>
>>>>> So, tell us more what the problem is and we'll be happy to talk about
>>>>> it. There are some folks on this list who can be very good role
>>>>> models and mentors, I wish there had been such a list when I started
>>>>> out. But, then I don't think there were such things as computer
>>>>> lists--smile.
>>>>>
>>>>> Good luck
>>>>>
>>>>> Dan W. and the Carter Dog
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>>>>> Behalf
>>>>> Of Mark J. Cadigan
>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 1:17 PM
>>>>> To: nagdu at nfbnet.org
>>>>> Subject: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>>>>
>>>>> Hello list,
>>>>>
>>>>> I am new to this list, and I am thinking of getting a guide dog for
>>>>> when
>>>>> I
>>>>> go to college. The only problem I am having is convincing my parents
>>>>> that
>>>>> a
>>>>> guide dog is a useful mobility tool. As you can probably guess, that
>>>>> is
>>>>> a
>>>>> large obstacle. I am currently in high school, so I have to abide by
>>>>> my
>>>>> parent's wishes, or at least for now. What I am asking for is how best
>>>>> to
>>>>> explain to them, that guide dogs are useful mobility tools, that will
>>>>> enhance my independence rather than detract from it. I have given them
>>>>> literature, DVDs and have attempted to talk to them. Any instructional
>>>>> materiel finds its way into the circular file, and they change the
>>>>> subject
>>>>> when I talk to them. Any and all suggestions are welcome.
>>>>>
>>>>> Thanks
>>>>> Mark
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>> et
>>>>>
>>>>>
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>>>>
>>>>
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>>
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