[nagdu] Get control of that dog

[Tamara Smith-Kinney]

Michelle,

Oh, yeah, I have had that happen a few times.  My dog is pretty good about
not taking commands from others, and she used to freak when someone else
would take her leash or harness handle, even sometimes when I told her to go
with them.  Even now, she will let DD hold her leash, so long as she can see
me, but if he forgets and picks up the handle, she gives him The Look, and
he guiltily puts it down.  I haven't had strangers do a handle grab lately,
but she tends to make it very clear to people that she is not going to go
with them and wants to be elsewhere.  Which leaves me in a bit of a lurch
until we get things sorted out.

Like you, when it does happen, I always have a huge internal conflict
between my absolute fury, my concern for my dog and for my own safety and
independence, and a distate for descending to open rudeness and causing a
scene.  In my head, I may be jumping up and down shrieking cusswords at the
top of my lungs, but I've never actually done it, since it's not really my
style.  /smile/

I also found out during the first few incidents that the sort of people who
will take control (or try) of a guide dog are also the sort whose ears are
untouched by the sound waves emanating from the blind person's mouth.  I've
run into a few people like that and find myself wondering if the fact that I
hear what I'm saying means I've taken to hallucinating.  Very frustrating,
especially since I'm attempting to communicate to the other person that I
wish for them to leave my dog alone, get out of my way, or just generally
stop doing what they're doing that has inspired me to speak to them in the
first place.  When I was new to blindness, this was especially mind
mangling, because I had not encountered the phenomenon before!  OMG!

Anyway, with Mitzi, since she would be all weirded out and discombobulated
and trying to escape to get to me while the person would be trying to push
past me to get hold of her, I would turn my attention to calming her and
allowing her to duck behind me so that I could put myself bodily in front of
the other person.  I think in one or two cases, I actually started brushing
their hands away and moving towards a less passive body block.  Only a
couple of people have ever been that persistent, but what else can one do?

Most others realize their mistake from Mitzi's reaction and give it up,
although they will continue to give voice commands then start acting very
snarky and disapproving when she doesn't obey them.  They then decide to
speak to me on the subject of how guide dogs are supposed to be obedient...
Which just makes me mad, but it does give me an excellent opportunity to put
my snoot on and explain in an obnoxiously didactic tone about intelligent
disobedience and how guide dogs are trained for that sort of thing and that
Mitzi is doing exactly as she should and I am proud of her.  Using every
ten-penny word at my disposal, of course!  Then I pause to let them rest a
beat or two before I tilt my head at them and widen my eyes a bit more and
smile.  Works like a charm!  So I keep doing it, even though I privately
believe it's just petty to mess with someone's head like that.  /grin/

I think part of the reason I've had few incidents as time goes on is that
when I find myself heading into a situation where someone is going to insist
on being helpful, I put on my 'tude beforehand and make extra sure I have a
firm grip on the harness and maintain position with my dog at all times.  We
get a little sloppy about that when we're all relaxed and casual, but when
we're both locked into our proper places like we know what we're doing, I
think it presents a more competent, confident image.  Also, there is less
opportunity for a determined helper to get their hands on the dog!  /smile/

It also helps to lower my voice and project from my diaphragm when I greet
the person, and to start things off with more coolly correct courtesy than
open friendliness until I'm sure we all know what we're supposed to do.
They're less likely to take me as a dingbat or hick or whatever impression
they're likely to get from my usual unfortunate country twang.  With that
special squeak that comes out when I get excited.

Also, I think that for a woman, it can really help to overcome cultural
stereotypes and even use them by using a more firmly supported voice in
lower registers.  For me, at least, that seems to be true in how others
respond to me.

Sorry for the rambling explanation.  I don't have a specific technique or
method, just sort of what Mitzi and I have worked out between us to make
life easier using our natural tendencies.

If I had a less velcro dog -- and she can pour on the superglue when she
wants to -- I would probably do things entirely differently.  Or if I were a
less stubborn personality!  There have been a few times when I realized
belatedly that I had just done an awful lot of dancing around in an
unfamiliar environment where my vision wasn't telling me a thing and that
was just downright stupid dangerous.  Apparently, I am the sort of person
who would rather fall off a cliff than let someone mess with my dog!  I've
had a lot of stern conversations with myself over that one, and now do a
much better job of keeping my feet to the spot I've already determined is
safe and secure.  Good grief!

Hang in there!  It's awful for people to do that to you.  It puts you in
danger.  It's against the law, at least in many states, for them to
interfere with your guide.  It can screw with your guide's training, and it
can leave you navigating around wherever you were going in the first place
with a stressed dog.  Even if the dog can continue to perform, it's just not
fair for someone to make a hard job that much harder.  For that matter, I've
discovered that the extra attention I need to give to Mitzi's nerves and
confidence make my job of navigating much harder, as well.

Anyway, you'll get lots of great advice from everybody.  Let us know how you
work things out for you and Troy.  I'll probably learn something very
helpful to use next time Mitzi and I dance that dance.  /smile/

Tami Smith-Kinney

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Michelle
Sent: Friday, February 19, 2010 2:35 AM
To: nagdu at nfbnet.org
Subject: [nagdu] Get control of that dog

Hi,

Could you let me know what you do when you're in a situation where other
people are instructing your guide dog when they clearly haven't warned you
and have not asked your permission? An example for me is when I'm getting a
lift somewhere and the person helping me out starts telling the dog what to
do, telling me how to instruct the dog, what to do with the dog etc. I know
that they are well-meaning and helpful, but then when it extends to the
person picking up the harness and giving it to me, completely controlling my
life and my situation for me without me being allowed to think and act for
myself, it really gets under my bonnet. After informing the person that I'll
handle the dog when I'm getting out of the car, this person will have the
hide to tell the dog to sit and stay! I hate being rude, so what do I do?

I don't mind what advice you give me, please tell me to be rude if I have to
be. I'm sick of being treated as an invalid to suit others, because it
really confuses my dog to no end, poor fellow.

Thank you very much and cheers!

Michelle and Troy
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