[nagdu] EXTERNAL:Re: My dream is gone

Tamara Smith-Kinney tamara.8024 at comcast.net
Fri Jul 2 07:34:39 UTC 2010


Rebecca,

Well, for us we're not *that* far gone.  Also, the convenience of being an
owner-trainer is that you already have the tools to modify the behavior .
Once you modify your own, of course.  /smile/

So Mitzi and I are doing some brush up, and I've been really pleased to
discover that as long as I'm a good girl, so it she.  She wasn't doing
anything awful, just getting a little sloppy and starting to be a bit more
distractable.

The good thing about taking a new look at things, including my handling
habits, of course, is that I also did some thinking about the whole meet and
greet policy, so we're being a bit less friendly to drive by petters and
distractors.  Although I still fall for other poodle people.  /grin/

Anyway, you're right.  Like moms, we guide dog handlers start paying
attention to other things and let a little slide here, then a little there,
then it suddenly occurs to us our perfect angel is somehow seeming oddly
imperfect and unangelic ...  So you get back on track.

Tami Smith-Kinney

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
Sent: Thursday, July 01, 2010 12:13 PM
To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users;
nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org
Cc: *
Subject: Re: [nagdu] EXTERNAL:Re: My dream is gone

Yes, it's a creeping lack of skills, not a choice. It's very much like
the concessions we've all made for a dog that's about to retire. And the
truly ugly thing is you always get someone who thinks "What did you do
to make this happen" or "Why did the school give *you* a dog". Lynn's
post at least the first one bears this out. It's not like Tami, or
Lynn's friend or myself woke up one morning and said "You know, I think
I'll really screw up my dog". You make a decision because your health,
or the weather, or a child or whatever requires it, and then you do it
again, and again, not even aware that you're doing it, until you realize
there's a problem. Then you have to figure out how you got there,
wrestle with the pain of seeing a beloved skill set go into the toilet,
figure out how or if you want to fix it, and then deal with the
judgements, founded or not from other people.  It isn't a fun place.

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Tamara Smith-Kinney
Sent: Thursday, July 01, 2010 2:39 PM
To: 'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'
Subject: EXTERNAL:Re: [nagdu] My dream is gone

Rebecca,

I don't know the answers to the questions about Lyn's friend, of course.
But her message reminded me of how I've suddenly come to the realization
that Mitzi and have been doing too much of the same sort of thing with
DD
the past few months.  One reason is that we've been all broke and stuff,
so
just don't get out much unless we tag along for a shopping trip and
trail
along through the store.  Also, the road of death has become,
incredibly,
more deadly.  I did do a solo trip by dog a couple of weeks ago,
forgetting
that construction elsewhere has every single driver in the world on our
road
at the same time.  Good grief!

And yes, my ho-hum laziness has made us both a little sloppy.  I thought
I
was really going to have to work it to get us back up to snuff, but I
guess
my good handler ha bits are getting firm enough that I just have to make
a
point to think about it while spending a few sessions to get it right.
/smile/  Mitzi surprises me, too, because once I shape up, so does she.
In
fact, I think she's happier guiding than just being along in case I need
to
go around something while DD does the shopping.  /smile/

I still need to figure out a way to come up with enough spare cash to
travel
solo to places Mitzi and I can use our skills and keep on doing team
building.  The road has gotten so crazy that standing at the bus stop is
a
death defying act.  Yikes!  Oh, well.  We're getting out more as a
family,
so I just need to take a bit of time here and there to go off with Mitzi
so
we're not just depending on DD to do the guiding.  Embarrassing to admit
I've fallen into that, but there it is.  /smile/

Tami Smith-Kinney

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf
Of Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2010 8:03 AM
To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
Subject: Re: [nagdu] My dream is gone

Just to clarify a bit, you don't need to be the Lone Ranger once you get
a dog. If you prefer to do things with other people most of the time,
then a dogmay not be right for you. 
The dogs do tend to work best if they get some one-on-one time with you.

Linda, I'd be curious to know why you think a school shouldn't have
accepted the friend you mention in this post? Is it that she's never out
by herself? How do you know that this is culture and her simply
realizing a dog isn't right for her but thinking "If I give the dog
back, I will have proven people right that a dog isn't the proper option
or me and that means I've failed"? 
I'll tell you that giving a dog back based on lifestyle changes or
personal realizations external to the dog is difficult because there
does seem to be the attitude "What, you couldn't hack it" Or worse, "I
never thought you were a good handler, this is no surprise". Also the
judgement of dog is better then cane is not useful either. 
All I'm saying is that this friend of yours may have a lot of mental
processes going on that none of us are aware of. I'd be curious to know
why your judgement of her is so harsh.

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Linda Gwizdak
Sent: Friday, June 25, 2010 4:59 PM
To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
Subject: Re: [nagdu] My dream is gone

Hey Gail,
Don't give up!  GDB seems to reject lots of people for lots of strange 
reasons. I have a friend who got rejected from them for being "too
active" - 
say what??? Another friend for not having a good sense of direction -
she 
gets herself from point A to point B with her cane - duh!!  I was
rejected 
because they chose to listen to lies from people with little credibility

rather than see me for who I am or how I work my dogs - I'm on Dog
Number 8!

As others have been saying, try other programs like Guide Dog
Foundation, 
Guide Dogs of America, Guide Dogs of the Desert, try that Leader
program. 
Guide Dogs for the Blind isn't the only act in town.

I can see the programs having reservbations aboout your inability to
travel 
outdoors for much of the year.  Fact is, all the dogs need to work to
stay 
in a safe, working order. However,a low key, mellow dog will be happy to

have alot of down time but it still needs to work to keep it's skills.
Case 
in point:  I know a woman here who has a dog from GDA.  The lady is
Asian 
with an American Caucasian husband.  Her culture is to stay behind the 
husband, don't make a fuss, and not to be too independent.  How GDA ever

accepted her is beyond my thinking.  I've been places with this woman
and 
her dog and she isn't safe at all.  Her dog's skills are almost gone -
the 
dog didn't leave GDA like that.  She has the dog with her but never
works 
the dog by herself - and it shows.

You'll have to demonstrate to a program that you will use the dog for
what 
it has been trained for.  All are clear on that score - hey, they put
alot 
of time and money into a dog and they want it to go to someone who needs
and 
wants to work it for maximum independence.

I think you can do this.  See if you can find a program that can home
train 
you. How about travel during the early mornings and eveniongs when the
sun 
goes down?  The humidity wouyld still be there but not as bad without
the 
hot sun blasting down on you.  Can you walk well after the summer during
the 
spring, fall, and winter? I think it can work if you can do this.  You
can 
walk in malls during the summer months.   You might have to take a cab
or 
paratransit to do that.

You live in the midwest - forgot where you said?  I will tell you that
it is 
cheaper to live there than here in California.  Southern California has
the 
best weather - hot but dry with little rain during the winter months.
No 
rain at all in the summer and fall except for the mountains and desert.
But 
it is VERY expensive here!

I come from New England where it gets hot and humid as well - maybe less

than midwest or the South.

Don't leave the list or do anything while you're upset - you usually
make 
the wrong decision then! (grin!)  Folks on the list want to help you
where 
we can.  Lots of people have other disabilities other than blindness and
yet 
they have dogs so, don't give up yet! LOL!

Regards,

Lyn and Landon
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Gail" <deerskin at oct.net>
To: <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, June 24, 2010 8:31 PM
Subject: [nagdu] My dream is gone


>
>
> This, I'm sure, is no news to anyone here, but its the end of my dream
for
> me. I got a call from GDB today, and I was turned down on two counts.
One,
> because I dont have, and not likely to have, professional O&M
training. 
> And
> two, because my health-my breathing-wont allow me to do weeks of
walking
> blocks around and around our little town after getting a dog from
them. In
> our state, the weather is miserabley humid, and for someone with
asthma,
> there is only a short time in the spring when I am able to be outside
> without feeling I am suffocating from humidity.
>
> I had chosen GDB as the school I hoped to go to, because California 
> weather
> is dry, and I was sure I could build my stamina up to cope with the 
> training
> which would be approxamatly the level I was at when my last dog
retired
> herself. But I will never be able to reach a level of stamina where I 
> would
> be able to walk the 7 to 8 blocks here that GDB expects graduates to
when
> they get home. I can understand why they want this, that the bonding
is
> important...it just never crossed my mind that it would have to be
done in
> this way. I never had to with the dogs I trained myself-bonding and
work
> went on at home and away from home.
>
> To hear this was the death knell to my dream. There is no hope of my
ever
> getting a guide dog now...I'm sure that all the other schools have
similar
> reqirements, and since I would have to go to one in a dry climate, so
I
> could breathe well enough to go through training, even if there were a
> school elsewhere, I would not be able to go.
> I am utterly shattered, in tears all day, knowing now that the rest of
my
> life will be spent sitting here in the corner of our living room.
Learning
> that my life is only to be what I see on a computer screen.
>
> I wish to thank you all, for all your kindness, caring and good
wishes. 
> But
> it will be too painful to remain here, with no hope for release from
this
> prision of our house. So I think it best I leave.
>
>
> God bless and keep you all close to His Heart, all of you wonderful
people
>
> Gail
>
> _______________________________________________
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