[nagdu] My dream is gone

Sat Jun 26 18:10:45 UTC 2010

They turned me down temporairly, till I can be stronger. But it was the
running around they expect me to do *after* I got a dog that I knew would
make it impossible:"working with a Guide Dog you should have at least three
or four routes that you are able to travel independently in your home area. 
The routes should be at least six to eight blocks roundtrip". Kansas weather
being what it is-either too hot or too cold, with the very short seasons
between too unpredictable to count on my being able to do anything regularly
of that lenght outside, is what killed the dream. But later, when my husband
was canceling the appointment with the idiot doctor, we found out what they
had been holding out on us...that they had thrown out the results of all the
Humphries tests, and others they had done, and made their DX based on a very
offhand, casually done chart reading test. Their DX of me- that I'm 20/25.
No mention of how the Humphries had shown me below the 20%of legally blind,
totally ignored what I had said about how hard it is to get around because
of my depth perception. (but then, no one, no doctor, no one, gives a DA**
about that, that I cant tell an oil spot from a hole, fall over speed bumps,
etc. Depth perception is unimportant to anyone but me. No school or doctor
think it matters at all.)

So here I am. Without any chance at a dog, even a self trained, because my
family cant afford to go through the emotional trauma of getting a dog,
having it a while while I test it, only to have to return it and try another
 And I cant drive myself anywhere to train as I used to, anyway, which is
how I got things done before.
 Any school would look at that number- which is all I have now, since the
doctor threw out the results of the other tests, and took no note of what
really bothers me, and laugh at me for applying. Thats why I say I dont
belong here now. I dont want to have people thinking I'm some sort of drama
queen, who just comes to cause trouble. I joined because I was stupid enough
to trust a doctor's DX...he lied to me all along, it seems. I probably dont
even have cataracts or glaucoma, either, since I always passed the tests for
those, when I go in for glasses. I know my sight is no 20/50, but I cant
prove anything. And with medicaid as it is, most likly I cant get another
doctor-I was told the other day that its going to get another big cut next
month, so I have to be sure I dont hit some kind of cap, and not be able to
get my meds at least.

I'm so sorry. I truly didnt mean to decieve anyone here. I believed what the
doctor said, and was working on that. Now time to hide the cane, and forget
as best I can a dream that can never happen.
God keep and love you all.

Gail

-------Original Message-------

From: Julie J
Date: 6/25/2010 2:26:05 PM
To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
Cc: deerskin at oct.net
Subject: Re: [nagdu] My dream is gone

Gail,

I'm sending this to the NAGDU list as well as to your personal address.

Here are my thoughts in no particular order.
  I find it interesting that GDB didn't turn you down on the basis of your
degree of vision.
I wouldn't give up on obtaining professional O&M skills.  It is possible
still.  Leader Dogs has short, 1 week?, classes on O&M skills.  I'm 99.9%
sure they are open to anyone, not just those wishing to continue on to get a
Leader Dog.  It'd be worth checking out.

Keep making connections, I'd give you pretty good odds that you could find a
blind person close enough to you that they might be able to meet up with you
to offer assistance in learning O&M skills.  They probably wouldn't be a
professional, but I'd bet that you would find the experience helpful.
BTW I have met individuals that had no formal training with a white cane
before getting a dog.  I met one older gentleman who was a rep from Leader
who was not able to use a white cane at all because of other disabilities.
If you can successfully demonstrate an ability to know where you are in
space and the ability to plan a route and get where you want to go, I
honestly think that is all the programs want.
I also wouldn't count on professional O&M training to be the cure to all of
life's problems.  Most O&M professionals are very good at what they do.
They help blind people learn skills to achieve independence.  However there
are some blindness professionals that aren't very helpful or interested in
independent living for their clients.  Sad, but it is the reality of things.
Not all blindness professionals are the same.

Can you walk after dark when it's cooler?  Can you get to a mall or other
indoor area where you can go walking?  Do you have access to a treadmill?
I'd check around and see what the options are.  Again make those local
connections.

It will be important for the dog to have enough work to keep up it's skills
when you get home.  You already know that though.  Perhaps if you explained
to the programs where or how you plan to use the dog when you get home so
they better understand your needs, might be helpful?

Finally GDB isn't the only school.  Others have made lots of suggestions.
If you really want a guide dog, look at the other options and pick one.  You
only have to sit home in the corner if you choose to do that.

All my best,
Julie

----- Original Message -----
From: "Gail" <deerskin at oct.net>
To: <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, June 24, 2010 10:31 PM
Subject: [nagdu] My dream is gone

>
>
> This, I'm sure, is no news to anyone here, but its the end of my dream for
> me. I got a call from GDB today, and I was turned down on two counts. One,
> because I dont have, and not likely to have, professional O&M training.
> And
> two, because my health-my breathing-wont allow me to do weeks of walking
> blocks around and around our little town after getting a dog from them. In
> our state, the weather is miserabley humid, and for someone with asthma,
> there is only a short time in the spring when I am able to be outside
> without feeling I am suffocating from humidity.
>
> I had chosen GDB as the school I hoped to go to, because California
> weather
> is dry, and I was sure I could build my stamina up to cope with the
> training
> which would be approxamatly the level I was at when my last dog retired
> herself. But I will never be able to reach a level of stamina where I
> would
> be able to walk the 7 to 8 blocks here that GDB expects graduates to when
> they get home. I can understand why they want this, that the bonding is
> important...it just never crossed my mind that it would have to be done in
> this way. I never had to with the dogs I trained myself-bonding and work
> went on at home and away from home.
>
> To hear this was the death knell to my dream. There is no hope of my ever
> getting a guide dog now...I'm sure that all the other schools have similar
> reqirements, and since I would have to go to one in a dry climate, so I
> could breathe well enough to go through training, even if there were a
> school elsewhere, I would not be able to go.
> I am utterly shattered, in tears all day, knowing now that the rest of my
> life will be spent sitting here in the corner of our living room. Learning
> that my life is only to be what I see on a computer screen.
>
> I wish to thank you all, for all your kindness, caring and good wishes.
> But
> it will be too painful to remain here, with no hope for release from this
> prision of our house. So I think it best I leave.
>
>
> God bless and keep you all close to His Heart, all of you wonderful people
>
> Gail
>
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