[nagdu] Service Dog Forced To Ride In Taxi Trunk

Tamara Smith-Kinney tamara.8024 at comcast.net
Wed Jun 8 20:04:09 UTC 2011


Yeah, I have a friend from my old neighborhood who fusses about that.  She's
a non-driver by choice, and she's never really tried to urge me to ditch the
dog, but she used to fret something awful when we would go to eat.  Mitzi
was pretty young then, and did need to be watched like a hawk, but the
fretting would get on my nerves.  This poor friend was with me when I had
one of my first guide dog access challenges, and I think she's still
traumatized -- she brings it up every now and then and frets anew.  /lol/
It was really minor, and I just talked my way through it and everything was
fine.  Lasted under a minute.  It was only memorable to me because it was my
first ever and I was so pleased that things went so well.  I think my poor
friend is still shocked that I didn't just bow my head and go away when the
guy who came to seat us questioned the presence of my guide.  She's also
impressed at the same time with how I stood up for myself...  Just a more
passive personality, I guess, and I'm not the only super-assertive friend of
hers who every now and then snaps and starts lecturing her on her need to
grow a spine.  So whatever works.

I think that when the friend with dog issues drives you somewhere, then that
gives them a sort of power over you that makes their sudden insistence on
your doing something unreasonable just because they have the car keys a real
problem.  I've grown used my friend's fretting, as she has grown used to my
lettin her fret while I go on being assertive, so it works.  And all she
does Is fret and worry because she's a fretter and worrier about everything.
She's always great about Mitzi and going out of her way to make sure I know
Mitzi is a welcome part of the friendship package when we plan something.

I got hit with the "I have the keys, so I have the power to manipulate you"
routine pretty early on in my new life as a non-driver, and I know that
sometimes it is just too exhausting to put up a fight when it seems minor,
even though you're letting someone else control you.  I didn't have a dog to
worry about then, but I did let my spouse and another friend pull the "leave
your cane in the car, you don't need it, I'll guide you" business.  Ha!  So
then I decided that people who will act that way in the first place are just
being rotten and that putting my independence in their hands is not
something I'm going to do.  Nor will I ride with them anywhere ever again,
even when I live where there's no bus service and cab rides are hideous, as
things were in Bend where I was learning those lessons.  I will walk or I
will take a cab.  Those same control freaks will then lecture me disgustedly
about how I'm spending my money when I don't really need to go anywhere in
the first place, I can just let them decide what I need...  So.  That's how
they are, then.  Sigh.

I can joke about my fretting friend, because that's just her, and she's not
trying to control me.  Same with my roommates -- my sighties as I call them
-- and their tendency to want to protect me and my precious poodle from the
dangers of the wide world.  That's just them being them, and we all know
that when I get myself to a place where bus fare is in the budget, I will go
off with my poodle -- and the cell phone! -- no matter how much they want me
to stay where they can protect us.  Meanwhile, they're both great about
giving of their time so that I can have what I need and get where I do need
to go without trying to tell me what it is or whether I really need it or
what.

And my little dog, too...

I don't know what you should do about your friend, of course.  You know
yourself and her.  But I do understand the dilemma of suddenly finding the
person with legal driver's licence and the car insisting on my doing
something stupid just because they know I know they have the power to strand
me and because I don't like to fight with people in my life, so they're
using that to get their way, too.  Ugh!

Tami Smith-Kinney

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Sheila Leigland
Sent: Tuesday, June 07, 2011 7:57 PM
To: NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users
Subject: Re: [nagdu] Service Dog Forced To Ride In Taxi Trunk

She has this thing about dogs being in restraunts. She especially doesn't
see the point if I'm with other people.

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