[nagdu] a cane and dog discussion (cane silence)

Tami Kinney tamara.8024 at comcast.net
Mon Jun 20 20:10:53 UTC 2011 

Rebecca,

I've wondered some of those things about myself -- as far as how my own
attitude towards the cane affects the interactions I have with others.
Or rather with the interactions they have with me.  /smile/  When I
relapsed into full-blown fibromyalgia after my VR fiasco, I noticed a
definite negative difference as I had to keep going through the motions
of life without the energy to swing the cane and with the pain of using
it while it exacerbated those injuries.  So I started making a more
concentrated effort to pay attention to my body language and expression
for as long as I could...  There are times one does not need more
negativity coming in randomly, thank you!  At that point, I was actually
pretty happy with the people who simply didn't interact with me because
of the cane...  The realization that there are so many people floating
about who will go out of their way to kick a person when their down --
especially when the person is you -- is more than a little
disheartening.  There were plenty of others who were perfectly normal
even when I was so shaky I could hardly manage to hand them money for
whatever I had had to drag myself out for, so I was able to remember
that the entire human race hadn't gone sour.  I was just encountering
more of the dark side, and I had a pretty good idea what it was about me
that was drawing that out in the predatory members of the population.
Sigh.  As I've pulled out of that and generally go about with something
approaching my usual energy and perkiness, I now find the lesser awkward
things people say to blind people to be fairly humorous if sometimes
surprising.  If it builds up, I get irritable and snarky in my  head,
but only for awhile.

Anyway, before all of that, I did do some ad hoc experimentation by
changing some small thing about myself as I went through certain areas
just to see if people would be more or less likely to approach me and
what the approach would be.  So I would wear sunglasses one time and not
the next time.  I noticed, oddly enough, that people were friendlier if
I was smoking a cigarette while i walked even if everything else was the
same.  They also treated me as if I were more independent.  So they
might say, "Hey, I was just walking past where you're headed and there's
a huge swarm of bees in the middle of the block, so you might want to
cross the street and go on the other side then come back over here.
'Kay, bye!"  No, that really did happen.  So I did cross the street,
walk on the other side for a block, then came back to the side I had
been on.  Without any help from anybody, although several people said
hi, and someone mentioned another thing I might want to know about a bit
further on, something tricky about the crosswalk or something...  Not a
single person stopped me to say this, it was just quick mention in
passing like I could figure out what to do from there and didn't need
for them to take time to figure out how to talk to me in a special way.
No one offered me an arm or tried to take mine or...  It was really very
wonderful, how I tend to think I should expect things to be, and it was
also strikingly different from what I had learned to expect...

Since smoking in and of itself is considered to be a negative thing, and
would be considered moreso in an upper middle class neighborhood like
that one, it can't have been the cigarette itself that made the
difference.  But I have noticed since that smoking while I'm walking
with cane or dog either one does seem to generate friendly approaches
from people who assume I don't need their help beyond knowing about
something I'm walking toward that they, as sighted people, find tricky.
Isn't that odd?  I wonder if I walk differently when I'm smoking for
some reason, or if it's something else that communicates enough of a
positive to overcome the negative social connotations of smoking...

Anyway, I do know I experience a different social environment using my
cane vs. using my dog.  I've learned some ways -- that don't involve
cigarettes, even -- of getting a more positive response with the cane
that seem to work for me.  Her poodleness nearly always gets a positive
response, and a lot of that is from her alone.  But I'm probably
different in a lot of subtle ways I don't notice, as well as having a
different posture when holding the harness instead of the cane and
appearing to move more smoothly and quickly without running into
things...  As people seem to view tapping things with a cane.  /lol/  I
don't know if that's a local cultural thing, or only in just parts of
the local culture, but the sighted person view of my finding an obstacle
with my cane is not at all like my view of it.  Odd, and difficult to
find a way to educate those who provide an opportunity in an efficient
way.  And so the journey continues...

On Mon, 2011-06-20 at 15:25 +0000, PICKRELL, REBECCA M (TASC) wrote:
> Interesting response Hope. 
> I used to use a dog, now I use a cane. I found that I move about more easily with the cane, and I can move in more random motions, especially when I am with my daughter and we are looking at something. 
> As for people talking to me, I think people just don't know what to say with a cane.  I've never had a problem starting a conversation with anybody. 
> I have also found that I am able to make friends with people who are not dog people. 
> I think the best way I know to think of the cane is like clothing. When I wear my space shuttle jacket, I encounter people who work in or at least follow the space program. I don't seem to encounter these people as readily when I do not have that jacket on. When I'm wearing the shirt of a band I like, I encounter other fans of that band. 
> For those of you who don't like the cane, I wonder if the dislike is somehow conveyed via body language and energy level? People can feel that and respond acordingly. People are attracted to someone who is in their element 
> I wonder if when those of you who don't like the cane are using it also convey the attitude that "I'm not feeling so great today". 
> And, there is nothing wrong with this feeling, we all feel what we feel and like what we like.
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Hope Paulos
> Sent: Monday, June 20, 2011 11:02 AM
> To: NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] a cane and dog discussion (cane silence)
> 
> I couldn't agree more with you, Albert. at times I go out without my dog to 
> regain my cane skills. Every time I do, I feel invisible. No one talks to 
> me, I feel like eeveryone's watching me and I'm the slowest person (at least 
> I feel that way anyway). My dog provides me with so much freedom and speed. 
> <smiles>
> Hope and Beignet
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Mike" <underthetoaster at gmail.com>
> To: "NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users" 
> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, June 20, 2011 10:51 AM
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] a cane and dog discussion (cane silence)
> 
> 
> > Hi,
> > I love how you brought up the silence factor of using a cane. It's one of 
> > the most irritating things in the world. People yakking away in a hallway 
> > is fine but then when you get close with your cane they all hold their 
> > breath and clam up like they're scared they're going to get whacked. . 
> > Wouldn't it be a lot smarter  if they say something to you so you know 
> > where they are instead of vanishing into silence?
> > Anyway there are irritating things about canes and dogs. Everybody being 
> > an expert on dogs and what to feed, how to groom, etc. advice is very 
> > annoying to me. And the usual roster of questions gets old quickly.
> > Mike
> >
> > ----- Original Message ----- 
> > From: "Albert J Rizzi" <albert at myblindspot.org>
> > To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'" 
> > <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> > Sent: Monday, June 20, 2011 7:19 AM
> > Subject: Re: [nagdu] a cane and dog discussion
> >
> >
> >> Hello all,
> >>
> >> Was not sure if I were going to chime in here or not. cane versus dog. I
> >> choose dog all the way. as a recent entrant into the community, and in
> >> assessing my needs from a tactile standpoint, I find the dog much better 
> >> as
> >> well as expeditious for my needs. I find that when my cane taps something 
> >> I
> >> am 99% inclined to reach out and touch whatever it is that is in my path. 
> >> I
> >> do this for my own knowledge of what is on my path and just for the
> >> curiosity of it all. with my guide none of that ever happens. I could be
> >> walking through an obstacle course full of pot holes or pillars and never
> >> once want to nor need to know what it is I avoided. Add to that the issue 
> >> of
> >> my sighted peers not seeing what they are looking at and again I choose 
> >> the
> >> dog hands down. I had my cane stepped on and snapped three times in my 
> >> first
> >> 4 months of being blind. that was enough experience for me to not want to
> >> use the cane. The dog for one reason or another catches the eyes of the
> >> sighted, it minimizes accidental cane breakage and it always opens the 
> >> door
> >> for a dialogue or discussion where the cane sort of acts like a dome of
> >> silence which at first glance is impenetrable  by the sighted community. 
> >> so
> >> power to the pup for me anyway. Peace.
> >>
> >>
> >> Albert J. Rizzi, M.Ed.
> >> Founder
> >> My Blind Spot, Inc.
> >> 90 Broad Street - 18th Fl.
> >> New York, New York  10004
> >> www.myblindspot.org
> >> PH: 917-553-0347
> >> Fax: 212-858-5759
> >> "The person who says it cannot be done, shouldn't interrupt the one who 
> >> is
> >> doing it."
> >>
> >>
> >> Visit us on Facebook LinkedIn
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> -----Original Message-----
> >> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
> >> Behalf
> >> Of Sheila Leigland
> >> Sent: Monday, June 20, 2011 10:06 AM
> >> To: NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> >> Subject: Re: [nagdu] a cane and dog discussion
> >>
> >> I think it depends on the situations that a person deals with daily. I do
> >> much better with a dog in snow and on ice than I did with a cane. I used 
> >> a
> >> cane exclusivily until almost eleven years ago when I got my first dog.my
> >> first dog. I've known cane users that have no interest in getting a dog 
> >> and
> >> that is fine. I don't know people that have lost there cane skills but 
> >> I've
> >> heard of it..
> >>
> >> _______________________________________________
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> >>
> >>
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> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________
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