[nagdu] . O-T: Blind People are Faking it.

[Margo and Arrow]

It's from the Onion and the Onion spoofs everyone and everything.

Margo and Arrow


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Julie Phillipson" <jbrew48 at verizon.net>
To: "NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users" 
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, June 23, 2011 11:19 PM
Subject: Re: [nagdu] . O-T: Blind People are Faking it.


> WHAT WAS NOT SAID ON THIS IS BELOW.
> Hi everyone,
>
> Below is something that if you can't laugh at far out humer then I would 
> suggest not reading it. The spoof came from a publication in Madison 
> Wisconsin that does this kind of thing. Not sure how appropriate it is for 
> the list, but sometimes one just needs to be a little crazy!!
>
>
>
> Julie Phillipson
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Sean Moore" <sean.moore at mediacombb.net>
> To: "NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users" 
> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, June 23, 2011 6:38 PM
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] . O-T: Blind People are Faking it.
>
>
>> What the ...?
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Arthur Nolden" <anolden at tampabay.rr.com>
>> To: <Undisclosed-Recipient:;>
>> Sent: Thursday, June 23, 2011 6:22 PM
>> Subject: [nagdu] . O-T: Blind People are Faking it.
>>
>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Blind People Are Faking It!
>>>
>>> Citizens, hear us well. Our great nation is being undermined by a secret 
>>> society of individuals who carry deadly white truncheons and lead 
>>> vicious attack animals in public on a daily basis. These mysterious folk 
>>> also have a secret means of communication, while shocking new evidence 
>>> seems to indicate that they may even possess senses superior to those of 
>>> other humans. We're speaking, of course, of the legions of the so-called 
>>> blind.
>>>
>>> Let's assume for a minute that we swallow this "blindness" hoax in the 
>>> first place.  If these people are somehow bereft of the gift of sight, 
>>> how does that explain the works of Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles and Ronnie 
>>> Milsap? How could such men possibly play music if they were blind? What 
>>> do they take us for-ignorant
>>> saps?
>>> The first issue I must point out is their very public display of armed 
>>> might. Every individual laying claim to sightlessness carries a cudgel 
>>> on their person at all times. These "canes," as they call them, are 
>>> supposed to help them feel their way along. They are painted white, 
>>> almost as if the bearer wished to remind passersby of its presence, and 
>>> the weapon's tip is painted a chillingly suggestive red. Those who have 
>>> studied the mysterious fighting arts of the Orient know that such sticks 
>>> may be wielded with deadly force by those with skill.
>>>
>>> In a surprise attack, strategically placed squads of the "blind"
>>> could quickly overwhelm our police forces.  Their fearsome nature 
>>> encompasses more than just personal weaponry. Many of the alleged blind 
>>> also own large, vicious attack dogs for the supposed purpose of guidance 
>>> along city streets. With one word from their scheming masters, these 
>>> slavering "guide" dogs could become guided missiles!
>>>
>>> Indeed, most of these fearsome beasts are German shepherds, a species of 
>>> killer wolf invented by twisted, Fascist dog breeders, which has somehow 
>>> fallen into this most suspect faction of the disabled.  The most 
>>> frightening aspect of this diabolical conspiracy by far is their ability 
>>> to communicate with one another unbeknownst to upstanding citizens. 
>>> Their secret code consists of a series of raised dots cunningly arranged 
>>> into arcane shapes. Known as "Braille," this demonic alphabet has begun 
>>> popping up in places that were doubtlessly chosen for their mundane, 
>>> everyday outward appearance:
>>> elevators, building directories, automated teller machines and the like.
>>>
>>> This system seems rational enough, and does not attract undue attention. 
>>> But think! If the messages on the signs changed suddenly, how would we 
>>> know? Next year, next month, next week, maybe even tomorrow, the signs 
>>> will change from "second
>>> floor" to "STRIKE NOW! STRIKE HARD!" and our nation will be thrown into 
>>> the chaos of revolution.
>>>
>>> At this juncture, there is no hard evidence that the blind are planning 
>>> such a revolution.  We hope to have such evidence very soon. But can one 
>>> group possess such an overwhelming element of surprise and fail to use 
>>> it to seize power? And can their goals be anything but evil?
>>>
>>> No, I say! I maintain that true blindness lies in failing to see the 
>>> threat where it must obviously lie, and we must be vigilantly wary of 
>>> the blind menace.
>>>
>>> Alan P., Nevada.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
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>>> nagdu:
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>>
>>
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>
>
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