[nagdu] some advice

Sat Sep 10 15:22:53 UTC 2011

Nimer,

I can't disagree with you on some of the dangers to a dog from someone
who gives in but still doesn't want them there. Also, they may be more
likely to just mess up the dog psychologically. Or to use the dog
against you to manipulate you because of their resentment. So the
attitudes of the people you live with do need to be strongly considered.
Some people will discuss and you can have a reasonable dialog, and then
that's great. Others... If someone is stuck on an attitude and what they
think must be because of an irrational fear, then you do need to
consider human psychology and, well, calculate the odds. And, maybe, if
you're a nicer person than I, consider also that you'll be doing them
the favor of not forcing them to deal with those fears when they so
clearly are attached to them. /snotty smile/

But only the person making the choice knows all of those fine details to
predict what their own friends and family will do. Then again, denial
about human nature can lead to problems, especially when attitudes
towards disabilities and those who live with them are involved. Sigh.

Tami

On Fri, 2011-09-09 at 23:01 -0500, Nimer M. Jaber, IC³ wrote: 
> Shannon and Chantel,
> 
> I didn't say what I said to persuade you not to get a dog. I said what
> I said because if you're even thinking about not getting to the point
> where you're stable and are able to move out and take care of a dog,
> then I'm not really sure you want one. You say you want one, that's
> great. I'm not telling you not to get one. I'm just saying that you're
> going to have a fight with the people you live with and, while you
> might win, the person you beat will still remember their feelings
> about a dog, and there is no way you could possibly know whether one
> night this person is going to get up and stick some onions in the
> dog's food or stick some dark chocolate or a couple of tylenol pills
> or antifreeze or whatever. Maybe that's a bit extreme, but if someone
> doesn't want me there living with them because of my animal, then I'm
> being wreckless by remaining there and it's not really a stable
> arrangement because that person could get up one night and ask you to
> get out of their home. I apologize about the grandmother bit, I
> thought you had said that she was your grandmother. I misread that
> bit.
> 
> Thanks, and I hope I clarified a bit. If you do want a dog, then start
> doing everything in your power to get one, and getting and following
> the threads on this list is an excellent start.
> 
> Nimer J
> 
> On 09.09.2011, Chantel Cuddemi <jawsgirl87 at gmail.com> wrote:
> > Julie,
> > I did try to explain to my friend tht the dog wouldn't hurt her child but it
> > just isn't working.
> >
> > Email: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >
> > facebook: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >
> > Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/jawsgirl87
> >
> > skype: leogirl48
> >
> > msn: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >
> > aim: scholarmistress
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
> > Of Julie McGinnity
> > Sent: Friday, September 09, 2011 9:54 PM
> > To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> > Subject: Re: [nagdu] some advice
> >
> > Hi Chantel.
> >
> >  I had to deal with this on a smaller scale when I first got my dog.
> > One of my best friends did not want me to bring the dog into my house.
> >  She was dead set on me not using the dog in the house before I even
> > got the dog.  When I did get Brie, we sort of compromised.  I guess
> > she realized that Brie was not going to hurt anyone in the house or
> > damage the fernature or whatever, so she was ok with me bringing her
> > as long as Brie remained in harness the whole time.
> >
> > Now you can't do that if you actually live there, so yeah, moving
> > might be the best thing for you.Also, something to consider: When you
> > get your dog, you will go through some version of the home interview.
> > The school will want to know what kind of home environment you live
> > in, and they will assess whether or not this environment will be good
> > for the dog.  First of all, did you explain this to your friend?  I
> > believe you can make sure to get a dog that is very gentle with
> > children or a dog that is used to them.  I guess you'll also have to
> > think of this if you move, when you consider where you move.
> >
> > Hope this helps.
> >
> > On 9/9/11, Larry D. Keeler <lkeeler at comcast.net> wrote:
> >> I am of the opinion these days that some parents don't train the kids half
> >> as well as the dogs are trained!  When I grew up, I learned to respect
> > dogs.
> >> I learned not to hurt them or mess with there food.  If I did that, well,
> > I
> >> might get bitten.  If I did, it was almost always my fault.  Lately
> > however,
> >> if anything can bite nobody wants it or the responsibility of it.  Perfect
> >> example is the humane society.  Those people purposely annoy dogs to see
> > if
> >> they'll bite!  If they do then its off to be euthanized.  For some of
> > those
> >> dogs they would just need to make sure they went to folks who would
> > respect
> >> them and work with them.  I guess they don't want to get sued or anything
> >> because some stupid kid anoys the dog to make it bite!  I'm not saying
> > that
> >> all of those humane society dogs can be trained or aught to be with people
> >> but I have observed that most probblems that those dogs have are
> >> psychological and caused by us humans who are supposed to be there frinds
> >> and protectors.  It seems to me to be unfair that if a kid pokes, hits or
> >> steals a dogs food he usually gets off the hook and if the dog defends
> >> himself against it well he gets scrapped!  I'll jump off the soap box for
> >> now but the point is that kids should be taught to respect dogs and dogs
> >> should be taught to respect us.  It isn't that difficault!
> >> ----- Original Message -----
> >> From: "Chantel Cuddemi" <jawsgirl87 at gmail.com>
> >> To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'"
> >> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> >> Sent: Friday, September 09, 2011 8:27 PM
> >> Subject: Re: [nagdu] some advice
> >>
> >>
> >> Shannon,
> >> Sean came to visit me with Archie not too long ago and they saw first-hand
> >> what living with a guide dog would be like.
> >> They told me every time Archie barked it would scare Lola my friend's
> >> grandchild.
> >>
> >>
> >> Email: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >>
> >> facebook: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >>
> >> Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/jawsgirl87
> >>
> >> skype: leogirl48
> >>
> >> msn: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >>
> >> aim: scholarmistress
> >>
> >> -----Original Message-----
> >> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
> >> Of Shannon Dyer
> >> Sent: Friday, September 09, 2011 8:23 PM
> >> To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> >> Subject: Re: [nagdu] some advice
> >>
> >> Have they had bad experiences with other people's guide dogs? I know some
> >> people are just generally worried about these things, but I'm wondering
> > why
> >> they're so convinced this will happen.
> >>
> >> I hope you're able to find a place to live so that you can have your dog.
> > I
> >> wish you the best of luck.
> >>
> >> Shannon and Caroline
> >> Are you a fan of women's music? If so, join me each Thursday from noon
> > until
> >> three for the Eclectic Collection: a Celebration of Women In Music. Point
> >> your media player to:
> >> http://mojoradio.us/listen
> >> or
> >> www.mintfm.net
> >>
> >> On Sep 9, 2011, at 6:37 PM, Chantel Cuddemi wrote:
> >>
> >>> Shannon,
> >>> I have tried to convince the people here that the dog wouldn't snap at
> >> their
> >>> child but it's not working. They're not saying I can't have a guide dog,
> >>> they just don't want me living here with one.
> >>> Moving, unfortunately, is something that I might have to do in this case.
> >>>
> >>> Email: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >>>
> >>> facebook: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >>>
> >>> Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/jawsgirl87
> >>>
> >>> skype: leogirl48
> >>>
> >>> msn: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >>>
> >>> aim: scholarmistress
> >>>
> >>> -----Original Message-----
> >>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> > Behalf
> >>> Of Shannon Dyer
> >>> Sent: Friday, September 09, 2011 6:32 PM
> >>> To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> >>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] some advice
> >>>
> >>> People asking questions doesn't mean they don't want a dog. Not everyone
> >>> knows everything for certain without seeking advice from others. Often,
> >> it's
> >>> helpful to gain insight from other people who may have been in a similar
> >>> situation.
> >>>
> >>> Chantal, have you talked to those you live with, explaining to them
> >> exactly
> >>> why you think a dog is the right choice? If so, do they seem at all
> >>> receptive to the idea? I know, when i got my first dog, I was living at
> >> home
> >>> with my parents. My dad was a huge dog lover, but my mom, not so much.
> > So,
> >>> it took some convincing. Once she met my dog, and saw that there weren't
> >> any
> >>> serious problems, she got used to the idea.
> >>>
> >>> If people are totally unreceptive to the idea of a dog in the house, how
> >>> easy would it be for you to move? Moving is not something to be done
> >>> lightly. It takes a lot of time and money, plus the resources to keep
> >>> yourself afloat once you've moved. Is this something that is possible for
> >>> you to do?
> >>>
> >>> I hope you can work things out. Don't stop asking questions. The majority
> >> of
> >>> people on this list are happy to help you without being judgmental.
> >>>
> >>> Shannon and Caroline
> >>> Are you a fan of women's music? If so, join me each Thursday from noon
> >> until
> >>> three for the Eclectic Collection: a Celebration of Women In Music. Point
> >>> your media player to:
> >>> http://mojoradio.us/listen
> >>> or
> >>> www.mintfm.net
> >>>
> >>> On Sep 9, 2011, at 5:42 PM, Nimer M. Jaber, IC³ wrote:
> >>>
> >>>> Hello,
> >>>>
> >>>> Nope, you shouldn't. In fact, you shouldn't get a dog at all. ust my
> >>>> opinion. Now, I'll tell you why.
> >>>>
> >>>> First, your grandmother has every right to refuse access to any animal
> >>>> in her house while you're still living with her. So you won't be able
> >>>> to impose your will on them. I guess you could try explaining to them
> >>>> the use that a dog would be to you and that they are highly trained
> >>>> not to be aggressive and to be calm and all that, but I doubt it would
> >>>> work.
> >>>>
> >>>> Second point: You don't want a dog. If you did, you wouldn't be
> >>>> getting on this list asking a bunch of people you don't know for
> >>>> advice. If you want a dog bad enough, you would not deal with someone
> >>>> else imposing their will on you. Instead, you would save up the money,
> >>>> become independent, establish alternate living arrangements and then
> >>>> pursue getting a dog. The fact that you have to ask on this list means
> >>>> that you aren't certain about wanting a dog. A dog is a huge
> >>>> responsibility but it's one that I wouldn't trade for anything. It's
> >>>> up to you to do the research, however, to make absolutely certain that
> >>>> this is what you want to do if you want to do it. A dog is a living,
> >>>> breathing animal. A dog is not a pet, a stuffed animal or a lovey
> >>>> cuddly object that you can dress up in doll's clothes.
> >>>>
> >>>> Thanks, and I hope I didn't offend anyone too badly with my bluntness.
> >>>>
> >>>> Nimer J
> >>>>
> >>>> On 09.09.2011, Chantel Cuddemi <jawsgirl87 at gmail.com> wrote:
> >>>>> Hi all,
> >>>>>
> >>>>> I need some advice. I am not sure what to do here. I am trying to
> >>> convince
> >>>>> my friend that I am staying with her grandchild won't get hurt by my
> >>> future
> >>>>> guide dog, but she and her kids have voted against me having one her at
> >>> this
> >>>>> house.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Should I consider moving to another area then get a dog? Please help.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Chantel.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Email: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> facebook: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/jawsgirl87
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> skype: leogirl48
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> msn: jawsgirl87 at gmail.com
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> aim: scholarmistress
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> _______________________________________________
> >>>>> nagdu mailing list
> >>>>> nagdu at nfbnet.org
> >>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nagdu_nfbnet.org
> >>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> >>> nagdu:
> >>>>>
> >>>
> > http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nagdu_nfbnet.org/nimerjaber1%40gmail.com
> >>>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> --
> >>>> Nimer M. Jaber
> >>>>
> >>>> The message above is intended for the recipient to whom it was sent.
> >>>> If you believe that you are not the intended recipient, please notify
> >>>> me via reply email and destroy all copies of this email. Action taken
> >>>> as a result of this email by anyone other than the intended recipient
> >>>> may result in civil or criminal action. I have checked all files on my
> >>>> machine for security threats. However, I will not be held responsible
> >>>> for any damage caused to your machine as a result of any instructions
> >>>> or attachments provided by me. Security of your machine is up to you.
> >>>> Thanks, and if you don't feel that you are able to comply with these
> >>>> instructions, please notify me via reply email and destroy all copies
> >>>> of this email from your computer.
> >>>>
> >>>> Registered Linux User 529141.
> >>>> http://counter.li.org/
> >>>> Vinux testing and documentation coordinator
> >>>> To get more information about a free and accessible operating system,
> >>>> please click here:
> >>>> http://www.vinuxproject.org
> >>>>
> >>>> To find out about a free and versatile screen reader for windows XP
> >>>> and above, please click here:
> >>>> http://www.nvda-project.org
> >>>>
> >>>> Check out my blog related to technology by clicking here:
> >>>> http://nimertech.blogspot.com
> >>>>
> >>>> Phone: (720) (251-4530)
> >>>> Please reply to this email to contact me.
> >>>>
> >>>> _______________________________________________
> >>>> nagdu mailing list
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> >>> nagdu:
> >>>>
> >>>
> >>
> > http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nagdu_nfbnet.org/solsticesinger%40gmail.co
> >>> m
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> _______________________________________________
> >>> nagdu mailing list
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> >> nagdu:
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> >>>
> >>>
> >>> _______________________________________________
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> >> nagdu:
> >>>
> >>
> > http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nagdu_nfbnet.org/solsticesinger%40gmail.co
> >> m
> >>
> >>
> >> _______________________________________________
> >> nagdu mailing list
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> >>
> >>
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> >>
> >>
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> >>
> >
> >
> > --
> > Julie McG
> >  Lindbergh High School class of 2009, participating member in Opera
> > Theater's Artist in Training Program, and proud graduate of Guiding
> > Eyes for the Blind
> >
> > "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that
> > everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal
> > life."
> > John 3:16
> >
> > _______________________________________________
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> >
> >
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> >
> 
> 
> -- 
> Nimer M. Jaber
> 
> The message above is intended for the recipient to whom it was sent.
> If you believe that you are not the intended recipient, please notify
> me via reply email and destroy all copies of this email. Action taken
> as a result of this email by anyone other than the intended recipient
> may result in civil or criminal action. I have checked all files on my
> machine for security threats. However, I will not be held responsible
> for any damage caused to your machine as a result of any instructions
> or attachments provided by me. Security of your machine is up to you.
> Thanks, and if you don't feel that you are able to comply with these
> instructions, please notify me via reply email and destroy all copies
> of this email from your computer.
> 
> Registered Linux User 529141.
> http://counter.li.org/
> Vinux testing and documentation coordinator
> To get more information about a free and accessible operating system,
> please click here:
> http://www.vinuxproject.org
> 
> To find out about a free and versatile screen reader for windows XP
> and above, please click here:
> http://www.nvda-project.org
> 
> Check out my blog related to technology by clicking here:
> http://nimertech.blogspot.com
> 
> Phone: (720) (251-4530)
> Please reply to this email to contact me.
> 
> _______________________________________________
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