[nagdu] the bonding process

Sun Apr 1 04:19:27 UTC 2012

Hello all interested:

Reading the initial message on this thread reminded me of the day I received Bailey. Everything from the intense, deliciously nauseating sensation I had beforehand to the sweeping sense of glowing happiness and confidence I felt shortly after the first swipe of his tongue across my face; such a feeling I fear I won't feel again--as I suspect there is nothing quite like the first dog. Anyway, I was so happy that as I was leading him out of the room, I realized that I had forgotten his name--so I sheepishly asked my instructor, needlessly fearing some sort of reprimand in response to my woeful lack of memory. After repeating his name and ushering me into my dorm, the "bonding" began. I say "bonding" (with quotes) because in the first several minutes (or maybe the first few hours) little bonding took place; however, I will be the first to say that those first moments are the most important, as they are with any such relationship.
	THE SEEING EYE had given us lectures regarding the procedure--that's one thing at which THE SEEING EYE excels--precision and repetition. Not only did we have so much material hurled at us at break-neck speed, it was repeated a comfortably insane amount. We were told what to expect--whining, restless dogs; barking or yowling; unresponsiveness to the human attempts to be friends; and numerous other disheartening (but at the same time encouraging) scenarios. With all this in mind, you'll remember that we left the original topic for a tangent; we now return to my dorm room last July, just seconds after my instructor closed the door to recommence the dog-dispensing rituals. I lead Bailey to his place, and all seemed to be well. He had seemed to approve of me upon my instructor's initial introduction of him, displaying that social quality of his nature with which I am now all too familiar. Anyway, I sat with my new friend and stroked him--soon after this began, the squeaking started. He squoke and he squoke, only letting up to sniff at various objects in my room when I tried to distract him by giving him the grand tour. Unfortunately, there's only so much one can show another about 70 square feet of space excluding closet space, and soon we were back to square one--that square of course being his square, the square of rubber-backed carpeting which would become the new, if temporary, center of his universe. He sat there and he just squoke endlessly, occasionally letting out distressed yowls.
I felt for this poor animal--he who had been through so much--his mother, his puppy raisers, and now his mistress was turning him over to a complete stranger. As he sat, I wrapped my arms about him in a gentle hug, trying to pass on my thoughts to him by gently whispering into his cocked shepherd ear; telling him that one day, he would love me as I did him. I then scratched behind his ears and continued whispering to him, the words now probably nonsense syllables, meant to convey nothing beyond a soothing tone. This quieted his squeaking and he eventually lay down. I continued to sit with him, gently petting him and thinking of how lucky I was. Many people thought it absurd when I told them that those two or three hours alone with my dog were some of the best hours. I didn't move from Bailey's side--not to send so much as a text message or email to my family and friends who were eager to know who my new companion was. In fact, if I recall correctly, they didn't find out until that evening. Bailey's squeaking continued to diminish throughout the day, until he only occasionally squoke on the occasional exhale--it was as though he wasn't really trying anymore (and believe me, in the beginning he was trying--I heard him squeak whilst drinking water). I looked at the whole relationship as a challenge--I was determined to win his love, trust, and affection. Although I made amazing friends at THE SEEING EYE, I still made sure that I devoted a significant portion of my free time to the dog--going down to the grooming room or just playing a fetch game with his Kong in the bedroom. It wasn't until the third day of having him that he finally rolled over and presented me with his underside, which received a thorough rubbing.
Anyway, the dog you receive may be entirely different from mine--it might be a dog that surrenders its love immediately--or it may be a dog that initially wants nothing to do with you, as Bailey seemed to be. I guess my point is to spend time with the dog. The instructors will tell you before you receive your pup that "this isn't the time to be calling mom or dad or sending messages--this is the time for you to get to know your dog." This is something I took to heart--I looked forward to spending time with the dog. Sending messages on my iPhone or uploading pictures to Facebook was the last thing I wanted to do--I put all my attention on the dog and I believe I won him over all the more quickly for having done so. So, my advice in a sentence: Listen to what the instructors say and be patient; give it time, energy, and love.
I don't think the bonding process is a rocket science--you don't need a textbook to tell you how to love someone--you just need to give the devotion and the time and the rest falls into place. You will learn what your dog wants and expects, and your dog will do the same. I hope this message helps--I would say not to feel anxious or nervous about meeting your puppy, but having been there very recently, I can't realistically expect that. Just do what feels necessary and devote your time, energy, and patience to getting to know your dog.
Sincerely,
Robert Hooper
Hooper.90 at buckeyemail.osu.edu
The Ohio State University
0653 Buckeye-Cuyahoga CT
653 Cuyahoga Court
Columbus, Ohio 43210
(740) 856-8195

-----Original Message-----
From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Nicole B. Torcolini at Home
Sent: Saturday, March 31, 2012 11:20 PM
To: NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users
Subject: Re: [nagdu] the bonding process

It really depends on your dog. Your dog may just want to sit beside you, or he/she may want to snuggle with you more than just sit. Some dogs really like to interact where as others are just content to sit and be petted.

----- Original Message -----
From: "Reinhard Stebner" <raydar11011 at yahoo.com>
To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'" 
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, March 31, 2012 7:06 PM
Subject: [nagdu] the bonding process

> When one first receives their dog, what is the best thing to do? I have
> heard talking to their dog with a calm voice. I will be going to the 
> Seeing
> Eye on 4/16 and wanted to know how to best insure I bond with my dog.
>
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