[nagdu] Why so hard?

Thu Sep 6 00:15:17 UTC 2012

thanks for your Advice.

Once I finish my email reading, and I can remember their email address, which I think I do.  I'll drop them a note.

Have a great night, and an even better day tomorrow.

Jenny
On Sep 5, 2012, at 10:01 AM, Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC) wrote:

> Hi Jenny. 
> This is a beautiful message. 
> And I'd say that if you want to see Brooks, and his new people have encouraged you to reach out, then do that. All they can say is "no" and it's unlikely that will happen. 
> They may be holding the same reservations about getting in touch with you. 
> So if this is what you want, I'd urge you to make it happen.
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jenny Keller
> Sent: Monday, August 27, 2012 6:54 PM
> To: NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Why so hard?
> 
> Thanks for the encouragement.
> 
> I think you're probably right.  But I don't want to impose on his new owner's lives either.  I don't want to just keep popping up in their lives every now and then.  I told them that they could email me to let me know how he is doing.  But it's been a couple of months now since I've heard from them.  
> 
> they said I could always check on him by email and never to feel weird about doing so, but I feel as though I am imposing if I do.
> 
> I pray for his safety and happiness, and I know that Heavenly Father will guard him as he was not just a regular old dog.  I know that Heavenly Father knows what service he provided to me, and what a special and smart dog he is.  He knows when a sparrow falls from a tree, and knows the number of ever hair on our heads.  So I have to believe that he watches over Brooks for me.
> 
> I pray that they will email me soon to keep me up to date.  But I've also made piece with the fact that they may not.
> 
> thanks again for the advice.  I'm glad you got to see your dog.  there is definitely a whole in my heart where Brooks' spirit was when he was here.  there's something about the house now that is missing now that he's gone.
> 
> Jenny
> On Aug 27, 2012, at 11:07 AM, Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC) wrote:
> 
>> Jenny,
>> I think Brooks would be fine if he saw you. He'd probably remember you, but he wouldn't think about you when you left.
>> I never saw my first dog after I retired her. I wish I had now that she's gone and I no longer have that option.
>> I wish I had introduced her to my daughter, though my daughter wouldn't have remembered it as she was two when Cayenne passed away.
>> I saw my second dog a lot after I retired her. I'm very glad. She and my daughter got to be very close. I got to enjoy her not being a guide.
>> So, if you want to go see Brooks, I'd urge you to do it.
>> 
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jenny Keller
>> Sent: Sunday, August 26, 2012 12:38 PM
>> To: NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users
>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Why so hard?
>> 
>> Hi Marcia,
>> 
>> I'm sorry this is coming so late.
>> 
>> You know, I retired Brooks last Easter because he just stopped working and he let me know that by not guiding me around obstacles anymore.
>> 
>> It was the hardest thing I've ever done too.  But the reaction from the school that it was my choice to retire him hurt me even more than his retirement itself.
>> 
>> I too, had to let him go to a new family, because I didn't know how fast I would be getting a new dog from the school I applied for.
>> 
>> It really messed me up for a while, and I wasn't sure if getting another dog was the thing I should do.  But after talking to the school I applied for, I learned things about Brooks and his quirks that he never should've been given out as a guide.
>> 
>> That doesn't mean I love him any less.  It doesn't mean the heartache still isn't there.  It does mean that I know, for a fact, that I did everything I could do to make it work, and for me, it was doomed from the beginning.
>> 
>> I miss him terribly, and wish I could see him.  But I think it would be confusing to him for him to see me again.
>> 
>> He's already had to go through the change of a new family, and my popping up again in his life, I think would confuse him, or make him feel like I'm abandoning him again when I don't take him home.
>> 
>> there are so many emotions that go along with retiring a dog.  I feel what you are feeling in my own way.  I'll never say I feel the same, cause no one feels the same emotions.
>> 
>> Just know that whatever you feel, feel free to vent it on this list.
>> 
>> I know, I sound like a moderator right? *smile*.  Which is funny talking to the moderator herself, but we all love you, and I hope i don't offend anyone by speaking for everyone here.
>> 
>> We'll be here for you no matter what you need to say, or anything else you need.
>> 
>> Just let us know.
>> 
>> You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
>> 
>> Be blessed in your grief, and know that Heavenly Father knows how you feel, and that his Son Jesus Christ has felt your pain too through the atonement.
>> 
>> blessings,
>> 
>> Jenny
>> On Aug 22, 2012, at 8:49 PM, Juanita Herrera wrote:
>> 
>>> Marsha,
>>> I know that there are no words that anyone can say to relieve your
>>> pain of retiring Emma. Especially someone like me. What do I know. I
>>> have never experienced the retirement of a guide dog before, but the
>>> simple thought of losing Anise makes me shutter. I would probably be
>>> feeling the same way you are now. I know you will never forget Emma
>>> and that she'll always hold a special place in your heart. I'm sure
>>> your new pup will be special in its own way. I wish you the best of
>>> luck in class.
>>> Juanita and Anise and Baby Benson
>>> 
>>> On 8/22/12, Marsha Drenth <marsha.drenth at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> Hi List,
>>>> 
>>>> Although I have been writing that Emma is retired, or semi-retired for
>>>> weeks. And although she hasn't been able to work in a good while. Its
>>>> official now. She is officially retired. I just continue to say that over
>>>> and over in myhead, and its not real. *sigh* Why is retiring a guide so
>>>> hard? I have cried over this so much, and then I think to myself how can I
>>>> be so attached to this puppy. I feel stupid for crying. But how can one
>>>> retire a pup without. I know its for the best, for her health, for me, for
>>>> our stress level. She has not been happy working in several months, and I
>>>> hate to see her tense because of it. currently she is here with me, and
>>>> hasn't gone to her retirement home. But to think I'll never leave this
>>>> house, with her in harness, with her next to me, her protecting me, watching
>>>> out for me, guiding me. It just makes my heart hurt. This beautiful German
>>>> Shepard, who has lived in three different states with me, who has traveled
>>>> on three different college campuses, traveled to numerous cities and places,
>>>> was in my life at the hardest and the happiness times of my life. She has
>>>> always been there. My Emma girl, my emmalena. My emma girl who will let
>>>> babies crawl all over her and not bat an eye lash, who will run, play and
>>>> jump with my older kids. The girl who has saved my life on numerous
>>>> occasions, and probably more times that I didn't know about. It just hurts
>>>> so very very much. Its like you know something in your heart, but your mind
>>>> hasn't kept up with that thought, and vice versa. Every time I have a
>>>> birthday I will remember my Emma and the day that we met. It was my present,
>>>> best one ever. A part of my grief is that I feel like I failed her. Yes she
>>>> got sick. Which changed her in so many ways. But couldn't I do more, I could
>>>> have done this or that. Why did I wait so long to to take her to the vet
>>>> with her EPI. She was a perfect dog for me. This girl had so much energy, so
>>>> much spunk, she fit me to the T. She absolutely loved working, and now she
>>>> doesn't. I want that happy, go lucky, spunky girl back!
>>>> 
>>>> The why is it so hard question, wasn't one really I needed an answer to. And
>>>> over the years on this list I have seen lots of pups being retired and their
>>>> handlers go through the same thing I am now. Yes I have a class date for
>>>> another pup, but up until then, my mind and heart are going to be with Emma.
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> Sorry for the rambling.
>>>> 
>>>> Marsha drenthSent from my iPhone
>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>> 
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>> 
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