[NFB-DB] Family to Family Connect

[Lisa Ferris]

> Yes, I felt that way, too, Rox. I’m lucky enough to not be easily “triggered” but I read the flyer and I was like, Not on my NFB Board! 
> 
> Jaye, in my experience in working with families, I find that support groups just for them do not facilitate equality, acceptance and inclusion among families and their family member with a disability. I don’t deny that family members experience issues and emotions surrounded by having a family member with a disability, and maybe some counseling and support is required. But support groups of just family members tend to quickly go down a rabbit hole of bitching and whining about how awful the disabled person is (or his/her issues are, which is hard to separate out for most people whose identity is connected to their disability in varying levels). It tends to facilitate Martyr Mom Syndrome where some family members gain an identity for themselves as being the selfless hero that takes care of the poor pitiful disabled person and perpetuates myths, not hope.
> 
> When I have been asked to speak to family members, I tell them that I am not a counselor or a support group facilitator. I am here to exchange information, because having the right information often reduces, instead of perpetuates hopelessness and stress. 
> 
> Under almost no circumstances (unless the person with a disability is a very small child or has given consent to not be there) should family members and professionals be talking about the issues that affect people with disabilities without people with those disabilities being there, being invited to the table, and being seen as the experts of their own life. They may mean well, but it almost never works out to exclude the disabled person while solving problems and making decisions about the disabled person without them there.
> 
> I think I understand that Cathy looked at her involvement as a way to infiltrate the group and get some DB representation in there, and I respect that. But the first thing I would do would be to talk to the main organizers of this program (I am confused as to what role Cathy plays in this group) and make sure that they do not use ablist, exclusionary and nonaccommodative language that perpetuates the problems with families and people with disabilities and the cultural gap.



> On Jun 17, 2017, at 4:49 PM, Jaye Marie Brown via NFB-DB <nfb-db at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> I'm fairly new to all this, so you don't have to pay attention.  But wouldn't it be best to have two groups?  One group attending one speaker, another attending another?  The DB family and friends people in one, DB people in the other group?  They could be combined at times to share info., experiences, stories, etc.  I'd LOVE such a thing.  I'm just experiencing the problems of being DB now, rapidly becoming totally blind, and would like help....
> 
> _______________________________________________
> NFB-DB mailing list
> NFB-DB at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nfb-db_nfbnet.org

-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://nfbnet.org/pipermail/nfb-db_nfbnet.org/attachments/20170617/41610407/attachment.html>