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<TITLE>New THOUGHT PROVOKER #144- Blindness With Other Conditions</TITLE>
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<P ALIGN=CENTER><B><FONT FACE="Arial">Deafblind members</FONT></B></P>
<P ALIGN=CENTER><B><FONT FACE="Arial">RE: Blindness With Other conditions </FONT></B></P>
<P><B><FONT FACE="Arial">The brand new THOUGHT PROVOKER looks at the necessity of dealing with all major physical or emotional conditions you may have along with your blindness in order to make the best adjustment to life. And in this TP I use a surprise person to make my point. If you have not read the PROVOKER, it follows. Recall that I collect responses and post them upon my web site for all the WWW to read and learn from and that URL is- </FONT></B><A HREF="http://thoughtprovoker.info/"><B><U><FONT COLOR="#0000FF" FACE="Arial">Http://thoughtprovoker.info</FONT></U></B></A><B><FONT FACE="Arial"> If you wish to receive THOUGHT PROVOKERS sent directly to you, just write me and ask, at- newmanrl@cox.net </FONT></B></P>
<P><FONT FACE="Arial">THOUGHT PROVOKER 144</FONT><FONT FACE="Times New Roman"><BR>
</FONT><FONT FACE="Arial">Blindness With Other Conditions</FONT><FONT FACE="Times New Roman"><BR>
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<P><FONT FACE="Arial">“No, nothing else,” answered Bill in response to my question- “Do you have any other major physical or emotional or life style considerations that you are concerned that your oncoming blindness will negatively impact or in reverse, will make your adjustment to blindness difficult?”</FONT></P>
<P><FONT FACE="Arial">I am a VR Counselor, this was my first visit with Bill. He is thirty, rapidly going blind due to RP and had just lost his job as a truck driver. My question reflected a major principle in achieving a successful outcome in adjusting to any major loss- you have to deal with the whole person. </FONT></P>
<P><FONT FACE="Arial">The strain in Bill’s voice, the rubbing of sweating hands on his thighs told me my question had this guy reacting to something that he was unwilling to share. In my mind, I couldn’t help but speculate, was he an alcoholic or an AIDS victim, or…? And so to plant the seed, an opportunity for later, I said, “Okay. And as we get to know one another, if in the future after you get a sense of how the rehabilitation process works, please don’t hesitate to bring up any thing you’d like to talk about.” </FONT></P>
<P><FONT FACE="Arial">Bill didn’t wait very long and said, “Like I was saying, I’ve learned over the years that for me to…ah, manage my life, I’ve had to become a control freak. And I’m afraid blindness will…make me lose control.”</FONT></P>
<P><FONT FACE="Arial">Finished, I walked Bill out to the reception area, where luck was with me. Randy, my next appointment was early. “Bill, meet Randy. He also has a form of RP, along with being deaf. And hey, he runs his own vending business.”</FONT></P>
<P><FONT FACE="Arial">Out in the hallway walking to the elevator, I still felt good that Bill had met Randy, a guy that had another obviously serious condition in life to contend with and was doing well. At the open elevator doors, I shook Bill’s hand. “I’ll see you next week, at your place and we can talk more…” And I would have said more, but we were interrupted. </FONT></P>
<P><FONT FACE="Arial">“Bill, let’s go,” interjected a male voice with very “no-nonsense” tone.</FONT>
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<P><FONT FACE="Arial">“Richard!” I could tell Bill wasn’t happy with this intrusion. Then to me, “This is my brother. Excuse me a moment.” And taking Richard off to one side, they talked.</FONT></P>
<P><FONT FACE="Arial">Back at the elevator, Richard said, “I didn’t want Bill to come to you. We take care of our own. I’ll be…” </FONT>
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<P><FONT FACE="Arial">“Richard, stop!” Bill cut off his brother. “I’ll meet you at the car.” Then to me, he said, “Robert, I apologize for my brother. We are a very close and protective family. But ah, I don’t mean to scare you, but if Richard comes to your office or wherever, don’t ask him in. He’ll settle down.” And with that he was gone.</FONT></P>
<P><FONT FACE="Arial">I did not see Bill again for two months. We had four rescheduled appointments, bill calling in the day of each to cancel. Initially I thought denial was the major factor, but each successive call felt more like escalating stress and near panic. It is interesting to note, at some point in each conversation, he would refer to the “control” issue. Until, unexpectedly Bill showed up.</FONT></P>
<P><FONT FACE="Arial">“I was going to stay away. But I remember you said blindness can be managed even if you have other ah, issues, that you can still control your life. And I can’t allow myself to lose control…” A deep breath.</FONT> <FONT FACE="Times New Roman">“I want to explain. My brother and I both have…ah, are…” Another deep breath, then in a rush, “I’ve not hurt anyone --- I’ve kept control --- fear I’m losing it --- I don’t want to be like my brother.”</FONT></P>
<P><FONT FACE="Times New Roman">I had listened closely, was again puzzled, but excited to have Bill opening up. I thought, “Great, now we can get at those other key issues and work with them along side his blindness. Now we can have the best chance to get his life in balance; help him to get that control back that he speaks of as being so critical.” In a sense holding my breath, I asked, “This is great, Bill. So help me to help you. Tell me what you are dealing with?”</FONT></P>
<P><FONT FACE="Times New Roman">He said, “I am a vampire.”</FONT>
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<P><FONT SIZE=2 FACE="Arial">Robert Leslie Newman </FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=2 FACE="Arial">Email- newmanrl@cox.net</FONT>
<BR><FONT SIZE=2 FACE="Arial">THOUGHT PROVOKER Website- </FONT>
<BR><A HREF="Http://www.thoughtprovoker.info"><U><FONT COLOR="#0000FF" SIZE=2 FACE="Arial">Http://www.thoughtprovoker.info</FONT></U></A>
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