[Nfb-krafters-korner] OT: so cute I had to share with our southern friends

[Cathy]

This is for you Jill, Cathy Miller and the rest of you southern gals.

***That's Southern

Southerners 
Southerners know their religions: 
Bapdiss 
Methdiss 
Football 
Southerners know their cities dripping with Southern charm: 
Chawl'stn 
S'vanah 
Foat Wuth 
N'awlins 
Addlanna 
Southerners know their elegant gentlemen: 
Men in uniform 
Men in tuxedos 
Rhett Butler 
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption
fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them. 
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas,
beans, etc., make up "a mess." 
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
"yonder." 
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to
town, be back directly." 
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the
white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
middle of the table. 
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the
term, but they know the concept well. 
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a
neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of
cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also
know to add a large banana puddin'! 
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a
right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or
20. 
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a
redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. 
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
signal is actually going to make a turn. 
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're
"in line,"... we talk to everybody! 
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
related, even if only by marriage. 
In the South, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural. 
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. 
Every Southerner knows that tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; that
scrambled eggs just ain't right without Crystal hot sauce, and that fried
green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. 
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are
in the presence of a genuine Southerner! 
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates
the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.
"Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. 
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her sweet
little heart"... and go your own way. 
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southernness:
Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
morning. Bless your little heart! 
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this
Southern stuff....bless your hearts, I hear they're fixin' to have classes
on Southernness as a second language! 
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fah-evah ! 
There ain't no magazine named "Northern Living" for good reason. There ain't
nobody interested in livin' up north, nobody would buy the magazine! 
Now Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they
had a'been! If you're a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake
it. We know you got here as fast as you could.

Cathy F