[nfb-talk] what sometimes happens to new federationists

T. Joseph Carter carter.tjoseph at gmail.com
Sun Apr 24 12:50:45 UTC 2011


Ray,

As you know, I grew up as a "high partial" using sighted techniques 
poorly, and my vision is stable.  Yet what I have found most harmful 
to friendships is that the sighted people around me simply do not 
understand why I react to things like the event tonight on the way to 
Easter Vigil mass.  (For you non-Catholics, I can tell you that you 
KNOW you have been to a Catholic mass when you go to Easter Vigil.  
It's three hours long, has SEVERAL long passages being read from the 
Bible, candles, songs, baptisms, you name it!)

Anyway, so as Katie and I are walking to this thing together, this 
guy on a bicycle prays as he passes me, "In the name of the Father, 
Son, and Holy Spirit, help this blind man regain his sight.  Amen."  
I think he actually crossed me as he passed, but I am not sure if I 
saw that or just think I saw it.

Of course as a third degree Knight of Columbus, and proudly so, 
working to establish a new Council at St. Mary's Cathedral, I am 
wearing a bright red polo shirt prominently featuring the emblem of 
the order, along with my state and emblem pins attached to my 
backpack's strap.  If the man was Catholic as might by indicated by 
his blessing or whatever, he could not help but see them.

So I'm just dumbfounded as this guy passes by.  I just turn to Katie 
and shrug and say, "Ohhhh-kay then!"  Now she, a wheelchair user, 
fundamentally gets why this was just bizarre and not at all taken 
well by me.

But those without disabilities don't understand these things.  They 
have no idea why I would take that as anything but a kindness.  I see 
it as the ultimate in condescension.  If it wasn't so completely 
bizarre to have something like this happen literally as a drive-by 
praying or what have you, I would have been no less insulted if the 
man had slapped me.  But they do not understand why I could be so 
upset over a kind gesture...

I've lost friends over the argument that follows such a discussion.

What you say is probably true, but I wonder if it is not caused in 
part by a reaction to finding people for whom descriptions like the 
above are seen for what they truly are, rather than what some might 
wish to imagine them to be.

Joseph


On Sat, Apr 23, 2011 at 11:47:26PM -0500, Ray Foret Jr wrote:
>
>Okay.  Perhaps it is time to change the subject line.
>
>Jeanette, in your message, you say, in part, "instead of being happy for folks who have the opportunity to gain vision it seems sometimes folks are angry about  it acting like it is a slam to blind folks".
>
>	Aint that the truth.  To speak frankly, I think it's the consequence of missplaced anger.  That's the very same missplaced anger that makes some federationists say that blind people, (or sighted for that matter) shouldn't laugh at anything blindness related.  Shouldn't laugh?  That's not normal; and, that's another discussion too.  It's one I tried to start some time back; but, as I recall, no one wanted to touch the subject.  Don't know why.
>
>Well, let's be honest with ourselves and each other shall we?  The simple truth is this.  When some people, (not all mind you), find the federation, they are so relieved, they begin eating, sleeping and breathing it.  The federation becomes the very defenition of their lives.  They take themselves so seriously that they lash out at anyone who doesn't immediately adopt their thinking.  Those poor souls who get the short end of that stick realize how much the blind person in question has changed and no longer want anything to do with them.  So, what happens is that they then break off.  That's how new federationist tend to lose friends.  I know.  I saw it happen.  It almost happened to me that way.  Then, what tends to happen with the new federationist is that they get angry because the world doesn't understand things the way they do.  Mind you, not every new federationist goes through this; but, some do.  This anger becomes badkly misplaced and they take themselves so seriously that nobody wants even to be ar
>ound them anymore.
>Sincerely,
>The Constantly Barefooted Ray!!!
>
>Now a very proud and happy Mac user!!!
>Skype name:
>barefootedray
>
>Facebook:
>facebook.com/ray.foretjr.1
>
>On Apr 23, 2011, at 5:49 PM, Jeanette Fortin wrote:
>
>> instead of being happy for folks who have the opportunity to gain vision it seems sometimes folks are angry about  it acting like it is a slam to blind folks
>
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