[Nfbc-info] on discussing medical conditions, pain etc. on this list

Mary Willows mwillows at sbcglobal.net
Mon Nov 9 20:16:07 UTC 2015

Hello Everyone:
I am glad that this discussion is taking place.  This gives me an
opportunity to talk about the purpose of a list.  

I agree with you Lauren that we all can use a shoulder from time to time.
This forum is a great place to meet people who are living life in a similar
situation.  However, discussing medical issues is not appropriate for this
list.  There is no law that says you cannot respond to a message from
someone and suggest that they give you a call off list to talk more about
their situation.  In fact, I recommend that you do that.  What a great way
to get to know others with similar experiences.  

The purpose of this list is to share current information about issues
concerning blindness and the National Federation of the Blind of California.
If you go to the national website at:   www.nfb.org you will find a link for
lists and discussion groups.  It is amazing how many different topics are
covered there.  I don't know if there is one in particular about being blind
and the medical situations that arise as a result but, I wouldn't be
surprised if there is.

>From time to time the list monitors find it necessary to remind people that
we are not the only ones who are seeking information from our lists.  All I
ask is that you be aware that there could be people hunting for information
about blindness in California who would be really turned off by rather
graphic discussions about medical issues that don't really improve the lives
of blind people as a whole.  If a lister is looking for a shoulder to share
personal stories, You can contact each other and have telephone
conversations or email exchanges till your hearts content.

I hope this helps everyone to understand the purpose of a list.  If you
would like the phone number of the person with whom you were sharing medical
experiences, I will be glad to pass it along to you.  Or you can simply
write back and tell him to give you a call.  I think you would be a good
support to others.

Mary Willows


The National Federation of the blind knows that blindness is not the
characteristic that defines you or your future.  Every day we raise the
expectations of blind people because low expectations create obstacles
between blind people and our dreams. 
You can live the life you want; blindness is not what holds you back.

National Federation of the Blind of California (NFBC)
3934 Kern Court
Pleasanton, CA 94588

Thank you,
Mary Willows, President NFBC
mwillows at sbcglobal.net 

-----Original Message-----
From: Nfbc-info [mailto:nfbc-info-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Lisa
Irving via Nfbc-info
Sent: Monday, November 09, 2015 11:37 AM
To: 'NFB of California List'
Cc: Lisa Irving
Subject: Re: [Nfbc-info] on discussing medical conditions, pain etc. on this

Hi Lauren, 

I have a similar take on this topic. Let me begin with reminding all of us
that the Federation and everything it stands for does so with, "Love, Hope
and Determination". This, in my opinion, includes candid discussion about,
enucleation of the eye; better known as removal of the eye. 

The first word in the short tagline, "love" means unconditional acceptance. 

The second word, "hope" is, "grounds for feeling hopeful about the future".
Another definition of hope is, " someone (or something) on which
expectations are centered" . 

Let's face it, losing your sight is a loss. We grieve loss, including the
loss of our vision. My parent's generation, as a whole, lived by the
philosophy, "pick up your bootstraps and keep marching". In other words, get
over it; stop feeling sorry for yourself and just move on. Many of us
working or volunteering in the Human Services field know otherwise.  

Lauren, I see room for meeting on middle ground, that is, curtailing
blow-by-blow graphic descriptions of any surgical procedure may help listers
to focus and hear the message; the issue. 

Lisa Irving

-----Original Message-----
From: Nfbc-info [mailto:nfbc-info-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Lauren
Merryfield via Nfbc-info
Sent: Monday, November 09, 2015 2:13 AM
To: 'NFB of California List'
Cc: Lauren Merryfield
Subject: [Nfbc-info] on discussing medical conditions, pain etc. on this


I've been thinking, after a few comments asking us not to discuss medical
conditions, pain and the like on this list; that it is a blindness-only, NFB
list. I think differently about that issue. 


1:I think that if we truly care about each other, we are willing to be a
listening ear about other aspects of our lives besides blindness. Blindness
is only one characteristic that we have that makes up the totality of who we
are. Learning to be a listening ear is a good thing to learn.

2:It is good for a person to be able to talk to someone about the things
that are bothering them. It is therapeutic and a lot better than stuffing it

3:We can learn to have empathy with others. I have had medical and pain
issues throughout my life so I do have empathy for others who do. 

4:We don't see each other that much except on this list, so I think it is
okay to share other aspects of our lives so that we get to know each other
better and care about each other. If we only relate to someone's blindness,
in a sterile way, there is no caring or camaraderie there. To me, when
someone is intolerant of such posts, they are telling the rest of us that
they don't care. That is sad. 


I, for one, have been able to help several blind people over the years who
have lost an eye or both eyes. It is a traumatic decision for someone to
make and I had to talk to other blind people first before I could make the
decision to have it done. It is definitely a blindness issue and it comes up
every now and then. I have been able to help regarding prosthetic eyes also.
There are people who have never heard of them who need them. I am always
glad to help make the situation less scary for the person having it done. I
know some may think it is gross, but gross is not life or death; it won't
hurt anyone. 


I was married to a guy who had one medical issue after another. I was a
little grossed out when I first met him but I learned to tolerate and accept
what he was dealing with. He really appreciated my acceptance of him. I
learned not to be grossed out by some of his issues and he told me once that
many people avoided him because of them. He passed on 8 years ago and I am
relieved now that I knew him and that I allowed myself to get ungrossed by
him and be there to support him. That support, from me and a few others,
probably lengthened his life. 


5:If I can do it, you guys can. I know I come from a lifetime of medical
issues, however, I think that others can learn to become more tolerant of
situations that they have not experienced. One never knows when it might be
your turn, or a family member's turn, or a friend's turn, and you would want
to be there for them, wouldn't you?

6: When you're on your death bed, and, yes, sometime you will be, you aren't
going to think about how many times you answered to the call of just the
blindness aspect in someone; you are going to think about whether you cared
about, or even loved, other whole people, warts and all, as someone put it.
You might wonder if you lived your life well and made a difference while you
were here. Listening to someone else's life stuff might take some extra
time, but it is a way of making the world a better place, one person or
issue at a time. 

Thanks and hope I don't get kicked off of the list for getting on my soap



Blessings in Jesus' name:

My digital evangelism blog is at:

www dot ask in jesus name dot org (you need to retype it) 

Psalm 34:1-2 I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall
continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make her boast in the Lord: the
humble shall hear thereof, and be glad. 

Advice from my cats:"meow when you feel like it." 





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