[NFBC-SFV] Meet the Blind Month

[drbillfoundation at gmail.com]

Joe,

 

This is fantastic! Thank you. You made my day!

 

Bill

 

From: NFBC-SFV <nfbc-sfv-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Joe OToole via
NFBC-SFV
Sent: Friday, October 9, 2020 8:40 AM
To: Takeshita, Bill <drbillfoundation at gmail.com>
Cc: Joe OToole <joeotoolejr at gmail.com>
Subject: [NFBC-SFV] Meet the Blind Month

 

Hi All, hope everyone is staying safe and having a great Friday! Just
sharing and hope this brings a little laughter to your day.

 

October is "meet the blind" month for some reason. So, to celebrate, here
are answers to questions you always wanted to know but were too afraid to
ask. 

 

Q: Should I take a blind person to lunch to celebrate this most sacred
month? 

A: No. Blind people do not require the same sustenance that other humans do.
They feed off sound and convert it to energy. For this reason, always shout
at a blind person when you meet one. They enjoy a good meal as much as the
next person. 

 

Q: What conversational topics are appropriate when talking with a blind
person? 

A: Never, ever stray from topics specifically related to blindness, as these
are the only topics a blind person can speak about with any authority. If
you want to discuss things such as whether or not the new Star Trek series
is good, or whether the existence of Pumpkin Spice Oreos is cause for
disgust or celebration, find someone else. Blind people are one-dimensional
beings who cannot engage in such discourse. 

 

Q: I see a blind person walking confidently down the street. What should I
do? 

A: Never let the supposed air of competence fool you. Blind people, though
they may vehemently protest otherwise, are perpetually lost and it is up to
you to decide where they are going and assist them in getting there. 

 

Q: I met a blind person who behaved like a complete jerk! What happened? 

A: Always remember that blindness has bestowed near sainthood upon all who
experience it. Anything you have seen which contradicts this fact is most
likely a part of a beneficent plan that you are ill-equipped to understand. 

 

Q: I like to tell jokes. Can blind people laugh, and if so, what do they
laugh at? 

A: As with conversational topics, jokes about blindness are the only ones
which will make sense to a blind person. Rest assured that whatever joke you
tell will have never been heard before, and you are certain to get a good
laugh. 

 

Q: Should I ask a blind person to feel my face? 

A: Yes. Hollywood has absolutely gotten this one right. While such an act
would normally be one of intimacy and only undertaken by people who feel
connected to each other, this is not so for the blind person. They will feel
perfectly comfortable and not at all squeamish about this act. If you ask
them and they decline, be forceful and insist they do so. 

 

Q: This one time, I talked to a blind person with a guide dog and then later
I saw the person without the guide dog. When I asked where the guide dog was
and recounted our earlier conversation, the person said it never happened
and that perhaps it was someone else altogether. Huh? 

A: This has been known to happen, but it is nothing to worry about. You may
indeed have been talking to a different person, but this is not a cause for
concern. You are not required to note aspects of a blind person's
appearance, nor any other characteristics for that matter beyond the most
important one. These beings are interchangeable and confusion on your part
about which one is which is perfectly understandable. 

 

Q: I'm beginning to have a tiny suspicion that this is satire. Could this be
true? Could it be that blind people are just people, with a variety of
interests, abilities and personalities, much like the rest of us? Will it be
okay if I interact with them, or ignore them if I want, just as I would with
anyone else?

A: No! Certainly not! Now, there's a world full of blind people to shout at,
misdirect and confuse for one another. So get to it!

 

 

 

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