[Nfbf-l] [NFBF-Leaders] Exciting Changes in Our Upcoming Convention
Kathy Davis
kdavisnfbf at cfl.rr.com
Thu Apr 2 04:32:29 UTC 2009
Dan,
This April Fools Day e-mail is priceless! For a second I thought that my
fever had returned and was so high I was delirious. You should submit this
to the Braille Monitor for it is so hilarious!
Way to go!
Kathy
_____
From: NFBF-Leaders at yahoogroups.com [mailto:NFBF-Leaders at yahoogroups.com] On
Behalf Of Dan Hicks
Sent: Wednesday, April 01, 2009 6:09 AM
To: nfbf-l at nfbnet.org; NFBF-Leaders at yahoogroups.com
Subject: [NFBF-Leaders] Exciting Changes in Our Upcoming Convention
Fellow Federation Convention Enthusiasts.
Please read this announcement carefully and in its entirety. It contains
important information.
Have you grown tired of NFBF Conventions because they are always being held
in Florida's nicest, most comfortable hotels? Are you weary of carpet on the
floors, the availability of room service, and air conditioning? Well, if
this is you, will be thrilled at the changes the National Federation of the
Blind of Florida is making to our upcoming NFBF State Convention.
The changes were announced at a special press conference, held earlier
today.
NFBF President Kathy Davis began with a momentous announcement, before
taking questions.
"As you all know, the state of Florida has recently been impacted with
revenue shortfalls. In order to conserve funds, our legislature has closed
some of our state's facilities of incarceration. One of these is the
Lemonville State Penitentiary in Sunshine County, a facility which, until
recently, housed more than 500 inmates. Rather than let the penitentiary go
vacant, we have decided to use it to hold this year's state convention. This
is the first convention we have held in beautiful Sunshine County, which is
located somewhere south of Tallahassee and somewhat north of Miami."
First Vice President Dwight Sayer said, "You could say we art taking
Lemonville, and making lemonade.
Second vice President Dan Hicks said, "We are only the second state
affiliate to hold its convention in a prison. The Kansas affiliate recently
held its state convention at Leavenworth Penitentiary. However, they sound
found it may have not been a good idea to hold the convention at a facility
which is still in being utilized to house inmates. But, being as Lemonville
is officially closed, we won't have to deal with any unnecessary confusion
or hostage situations or anything like that."
NFBF Board Member Betty McNally said "The local chapter of Florida's Ex-Cons
has already put Braille on all the cells. I am pleased to say that it is
almost 90 per cent accurate. You really don't want to criticize the work
those guys do."
NFBF President Kathy Davis introduced Elvira Grundlespike, who used to be
the chief warden at the Lemonville facility. Grundlespike said, "We are
really happy to have your club meet at our lovely penitentiary. It has been
fully cleaned and decorated, with most of the graffiti removed or painted
over."
NFBF Secretary Sherri Brun asked about banquet and meeting facilities.
Grundlespike said that the prison features several classrooms, which will
work great for the seminars and breakout sessions. There is also a large
chow hall, which will be suitable for all general sessions and the banquet.
The kitchen is adequate for a group twice the size of that expected to
attend the NFBF convention.
NFBF Treasurer Gloria Hicks said, "We are going to save a lot of money!"
Grundlespike, who still wears a holster even though she no longer carries a
gun, said, "We will provide all eating utensils. We have an enormous supply
of tin cups, most with few or no dents in them." She added quickly, "Oh, I
hope I am not being disrespectful to offer tin cups to blind people. I meant
no offence."
Kathy Davis assured her that none was taken and that the members of the
organization would need something to drink from during the Manger's
Reception.
"Oh, that reminds me," Grundlespike added, "This prison used to be Sunshine
County's number one industry. Since it closed, the area has had to live on
income from our local wineries. We have some very good vintages. The
Sunshine County Winery has agreed to donate 2,000 boxes of its finest
whites, blushes, and reds to you for your convention."
"Wow," said Dwight, "that is very generous of them. Tell me, how many
bottles are in each box?"
"Oh, there are no bottles," said Grundlespike. "The wine itself comes it
one-liter boxes, but each comes with its own drinking straw. And, I can
assure you it is delicious."
Board member Gina Minichiello said, "There are enough cells that each person
can have his or hew own, though most of us will want to double up. Many of
the cells have bunk beads, so families can share. Each cell has its own
bathroom -- well bathroom area. Each cell has its own sink
and...uh...facilities. They are all very clean, I have been assured. At
first I was concerned about privacy. There is space between those bars, you
know. But there isn't enough light for anyone to see much of anything."
Former Warden Grundlespike said, Lights out is at 10:00 PM. After that
everybody is blind!...Oh, I didn't mean to cause offense."
"None taken," Kathy said. "Are there any questions?"
NFBF Board Member Sabrina Deaton said, "I am concerned that there aren't any
nearby restaurants or bars for those who wish to travel outside the
penitentiary grounds."
Ms. Grundlespike answered, "Well, there is great food in the chow hall.
Their oatmeal is out of this world. We have all of that free wine. The
winery wasn't able to sell much of it after that silly recall business, but
I assure you it is delicious. There are no nearby restaurants, it is true,
but we have many, many bars." She laughed, uproariously.
NFBF Treasurer Gloria Hicks said, "We are going to save a lot of money!"
Dwight Sayer said, as a fundraiser, we will be taking pictures of members
and guests, seated in "Old Sparkly," world's only rhinestone-studded
electric chair. He added, "Don't worry. The power is turned off and the
chair is unplugged. I'm not making that mistake again.
Board Member Sherrill O'Brien said, "We have discovered a supply of
thousands of brand new, very stylish, orange jumpsuits. These will make
great door prizes and we can sell some of them with boxes of wine at the
auction."
NFBF Board Member Betty McNally said, "After we get the license place making
machinery up and running, we will be making and selling special Whozit
license plates. This will be after we get legislative approval, of course."
NFBF Treasurer Gloria Hicks said, "We are going to raise a lot of money!"
She then asked about the availability of a sound system.
Grundlespike answered, "The chow hall has a great PA system. When Johnny
Cash played Lemonville, there was a bit of commotion from the more avid
fans, and he had to depart rather quickly, leaving his sound system behind.
We have been using it ever since. And, hey, if it's good enough for Johnny,
it ought to be good enough for you folks."
So there you have it. The exciting announcement about our upcoming
convention.
Anybody who takes this too seriously should just look at the date this
message was sent.
For the real -- non-April Fools Day -- information about our upcoming NFBF
State Convention, go to:
http://www.nfbflori <http://www.nfbflorida.org/upcoming/convention-2009.htm>
da.org/upcoming/convention-2009.htm
We hope to see you all there!
Dan
"If you are going to walk on thin ice,
you might as well dance."
- Inuit Proverb
"If you are going to walk on thin ice,
you might as well dance."
- Inuit Proverb
__._,_.___
Messages
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NFBF-Leaders/message/260;_ylc=X3oDMTMzbnFqdTd
mBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIyMzA0OTc5BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTA2MDY4MgRtc2dJZAMyNjA
Ec2VjA2Z0cgRzbGsDdnRwYwRzdGltZQMxMjM4NTkxMzU2BHRwY0lkAzI2MA--> in this topic
(1)
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NFBF-Leaders/post;_ylc=X3oDMTJwdjk4ZmJqBF9TAz
k3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIyMzA0OTc5BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTA2MDY4MgRtc2dJZAMyNjAEc2VjA2
Z0cgRzbGsDcnBseQRzdGltZQMxMjM4NTkxMzU2?act=reply&messageNum=260> Reply (via
web post) | Start
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NFBF-Leaders/post;_ylc=X3oDMTJmYTNhcDNxBF9TAz
k3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIyMzA0OTc5BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTA2MDY4MgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawNudH
BjBHN0aW1lAzEyMzg1OTEzNTY-> a new topic
Messages
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NFBF-Leaders/messages;_ylc=X3oDMTJmZ2IwZjdhBF
9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIyMzA0OTc5BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTA2MDY4MgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsaw
Ntc2dzBHN0aW1lAzEyMzg1OTEzNTY-> | Files
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NFBF-Leaders/files;_ylc=X3oDMTJnMjNjb2s1BF9TA
zk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIyMzA0OTc5BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTA2MDY4MgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawNma
WxlcwRzdGltZQMxMjM4NTkxMzU2> | Photos
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NFBF-Leaders/photos;_ylc=X3oDMTJmaGVxMGNqBF9T
Azk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIyMzA0OTc5BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTA2MDY4MgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawNw
aG90BHN0aW1lAzEyMzg1OTEzNTY-> | Links
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NFBF-Leaders/links;_ylc=X3oDMTJnYWRtcTJiBF9TA
zk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIyMzA0OTc5BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTA2MDY4MgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawNsa
W5rcwRzdGltZQMxMjM4NTkxMzU2> | Database
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NFBF-Leaders/database;_ylc=X3oDMTJkcXFtYmpiBF
9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIyMzA0OTc5BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTA2MDY4MgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsaw
NkYgRzdGltZQMxMjM4NTkxMzU2> | Polls
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NFBF-Leaders/polls;_ylc=X3oDMTJnZWJmc2swBF9TA
zk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIyMzA0OTc5BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTA2MDY4MgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawNwb
2xscwRzdGltZQMxMjM4NTkxMzU2> | Members
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NFBF-Leaders/members;_ylc=X3oDMTJmb2NvOXEwBF9
TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIyMzA0OTc5BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTA2MDY4MgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawN
tYnJzBHN0aW1lAzEyMzg1OTEzNTY-> | Calendar
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NFBF-Leaders/calendar;_ylc=X3oDMTJlNWE4N3VkBF
9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIyMzA0OTc5BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTA2MDY4MgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsaw
NjYWwEc3RpbWUDMTIzODU5MTM1Ng-->
<http://groups.yahoo.com/;_ylc=X3oDMTJlcDJrcXBvBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIyM
zA0OTc5BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTA2MDY4MgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawNnZnAEc3RpbWUDMTIzODU5MTM1N
g--> Yahoo! Groups
Change
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NFBF-Leaders/join;_ylc=X3oDMTJnZnVjdnZyBF9TAz
k3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIyMzA0OTc5BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTA2MDY4MgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawNzdG
5ncwRzdGltZQMxMjM4NTkxMzU2> settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch
<mailto:NFBF-Leaders-digest at yahoogroups.com?subject=Email Delivery: Digest>
delivery to Daily Digest | Switch
<mailto:NFBF-Leaders-traditional at yahoogroups.com?subject=Change Delivery
Format: Traditional> format to Traditional
Visit
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NFBF-Leaders;_ylc=X3oDMTJldjQwNG9mBF9TAzk3MzU
5NzE0BGdycElkAzIyMzA0OTc5BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTA2MDY4MgRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawNocGYEc3R
pbWUDMTIzODU5MTM1Ng--> Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms
<http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> of Use | Unsubscribe
<mailto:NFBF-Leaders-unsubscribe at yahoogroups.com?subject=>
Recent Activity
Visit
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NFBF-Leaders;_ylc=X3oDMTJmbGYycTh2BF9TAzk3MzU
5NzE0BGdycElkAzIyMzA0OTc5BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTA2MDY4MgRzZWMDdnRsBHNsawN2Z2hwBHN
0aW1lAzEyMzg1OTEzNTY-> Your Group
Give Back
Yahoo!
<http://us.lrd.yahoo.com/_ylc=X3oDMTJudnBocG8xBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BF9wAzEEZ3JwSW
QDMjIzMDQ5NzkEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYwNjgyBHNlYwNuY21vZARzbGsDYnJhbmQEc3RpbWUDMT
IzODU5MTM1Ng--;_ylg=1/SIG=11314uv3k/**http%3A//brand.yahoo.com/forgood> for
Good
Get inspired
by a good cause.
Y! Toolbar
Get
<http://us.lrd.yahoo.com/_ylc=X3oDMTJwamJtYWs5BF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BF9wAzIEZ3JwSW
QDMjIzMDQ5NzkEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYwNjgyBHNlYwNuY21vZARzbGsDdG9vbGJhcgRzdGltZQ
MxMjM4NTkxMzU2;_ylg=1/SIG=11c6dvmk9/**http%3A//toolbar.yahoo.com/%3F.cpdl=yg
rps> it Free!
easy 1-click access
to your groups.
Yahoo! Groups
Start
<http://groups.yahoo.com/start;_ylc=X3oDMTJwNWd1cnE3BF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BF9wAzME
Z3JwSWQDMjIzMDQ5NzkEZ3Jwc3BJZAMxNzA1MDYwNjgyBHNlYwNuY21vZARzbGsDZ3JvdXBzMgRz
dGltZQMxMjM4NTkxMzU2> a group
in 3 easy steps.
Connect with others.
.
<http://geo.yahoo.com/serv?s=97359714/grpId=22304979/grpspId=1705060682/msgI
d=260/stime=1238591356/nc1=1/nc2=2/nc3=3>
__,_._,___
More information about the NFBF-L
mailing list