[Nfbf-l] Happy Mother's Day

[Dan Hicks]

Happy Mothers Day to all the Moms out there. To those of us who no longer
have our moms, this is a day to remember them fondly and think about all
they taught us all the love they showed us.

As much as I like to keep religion and sentiment out of the list, I feel
compelled to post this little article, which was reprinted in today's Tampa
Tribune, and probably a lot of other papers. You may have seen this many
times before, but here is your chance to ponder it again. 

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into his sixth day of
"overtime" when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling
around on this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you read the specs on this order?

    She has to be completely washable, but not plastic;
    Have 180 movable parts... all replaceable;
    Run on black coffee and leftovers;
    Have a lap that disappears when she stands up;
    A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love
affair;
    And six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... no way."

"It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord. "It's the
three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.

The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks,
'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here in
the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know,
and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs
up and say, 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a
word."

"Lord," said the angel, touching His sleeve gently, "Go to bed. Tomorrow..."

"I can't," said the Lord, "I'm so close to creating something so close to
myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick... can feed a
family of six on one pound of hamburger... and can get a nine-year-old to
stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she
sighed.

"But she's tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this
mother can do or endure."

"Can it think?"

"Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a
leak," she pronounced. "I told You You were trying to push too much into
this model."

"It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear."

"What's it for?"

"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride."

"You are a genius," said the angel.

The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there," He said.

-Erma Bombeck, May 12, 1974

Dan


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 
		―Oscar Wilde