[Nfbf-l] Having directly experienced many of thefollowingSituations as a Blind person joke

Thu May 16 15:31:02 UTC 2013

Love this list! We are going to post it on facebook - fantastic way to
educate folks with humor. Thank you!

On Wed, May 15, 2013 at 11:36 PM, Sherri <flmom2006 at gmail.com> wrote:

> Oh that's sad Mark. The worst thing that ever happened to me in high school
> was I was on the top set of risers in a choir performance and following a
> girl sighted guide to our place. Somehow I stepped off between the risers
> and the stage. We were in the middle of an a capella number and My fall
> made
> a huge sound. I jumped back up on the risers (don't know quite how I did
> it)
> and we continued the song barely missing a beat. I was mortified!
>
> Sherri
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Mark Tardif" <markspark at roadrunner.com>
> To: "NFB of Florida Internet Mailing List" <nfbf-l at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Sunday, May 12, 2013 10:12 PM
> Subject: Re: [Nfbf-l] Having directly experienced many of
> thefollowingSituations as a Blind person joke
>
>
> I think most of these we have done on occasion and just remember we are all
> human and mistakes will be made sometimes.  Just move on and don't be too
> hard on yourself, and if you can approach these situations with a certain
> amount of humor, so much the better as it tends to ease the tension.  I'll
> tell you a really bad one, though.  One time in high school I was in a
> particularly unpleasant mood for some reason and I was standing in a
> hallway
> and this rather immature girl with some partial sight intentionally started
> running into me.  Well, I lost it and threatened to do terrible things to
> her with my cane.  Well, unbeknownced to me, a middle-aged or elderly
> couple
> were touring the school and happened to be in the room.  One of my
> partially
> sighted friends told me this, and I really wished the earth would swallow
> me.  It was terribly embarrassing.  No reprocutions, thank God, but
> embarrassing as heck.
>
> Mark Tardif
> Nuclear arms will not hold you.
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Alan Dicey
> Sent: Sunday, May 12, 2013 8:34 PM
> To: NFB Florida List Group
> Subject: [Nfbf-l] Having directly experienced many of the
> followingSituations as a Blind person joke
>
> Having directly experienced many of the following situations, we would like
> to share our tips on avoiding embarrassment with others. We will also give
> invaluable advice on how to cope with these every day occurrences. So, in
> no
> particular order, here are our  top ten tips:
> 1. Sitting in someone's lap.
> When using public transport be very careful not to sit in someone's  lap.
> Now I know the upholstery of the seats is often similar in shade  to
> people's clothes but this is really no excuse. This kind of  familiarity
> with strangers should be reserved for the up coming  Christmas party
> season.
> If you do still make this social faux pas,  you will of course have a good
> excuse but you will feel very red in  the face for the rest of the journey.
> However, you will brighten up  all the other traveller's days, as it will
> appear to them as a very  funny error indeed.
>
> 2. Putting things in your mouth the wrong way round.
> My fiancé has done this with a pen; I've done it with a cigarette. Not to
> be
> recommended; it put me off fags for life. With regard to  putting anything
> else in your mouth, just make sure it's clean. (you've very smutty minds
> you
> know).
>
> 3. Talking to people who aren't there.
> I've done this many times; its no good pretending you've gone mad and  that
> you meant to talk to an empty chair, people won't believe you.  Best just
> to
> admit you've made a mistake here.
>
> 4. Calling someone by the wrong name.
> How many times have we all gone up to Sally's desk in accounts and  asked
> her "Would you like to come out for a drink with me tonight"?  only to find
> that Brian is sitting in Sally's chair. This simple  mistake can lead to
> all
> sorts of trouble. Worse still is if your  telling Sally what a total gimp
> you think Brian is only to find that  Brian is either present in the room,
> or STILL sitting in Sally's chair. My advice here is to keep your insulting
> comments to yourself  until you know for sure that Brian has gone.
>
> 5. Mistaking people for inanimate objects.
> I did this quite recently in Amsterdam airport. I was sitting 2 or 3 seats
> away from what I assumed was a dustbin. The thing was very  still and
> looked
> remarkably like one of those flip lid bins. Keen to  assert my
> independence,
> I rose, walked over, and tried to put my  empty can of Pepsi into a man who
> was holding a newspaper. This  hideous moment passed off with out physical
> injury to me or Mr. Newspaper but I felt very silly, particularly as I had
> walked over to  him with out my Cane and so probably seemed to be sighted.
> He must  have thought he was being attacked by a Pepsi-can-wheeling
> nuttier.
>
> 6. Answering questions not meant for you.
> This could happen to anyone of course but the visually impaired are
> particularly prone. If, in a nightclub, someone asks "would you like  a
> shag" and you answer "Yes please", then, depending on how drunk you both
> are, this mistake might just work to your advantage. However, as  the
> question was actually intended for your friend sitting next to  you, it is
> more likely that you will just end up looking foolish. The  answer I find
> is
> to insist that every one you come into contact with  uses your name when
> addressing you.
>
> 7. confusing shoppers.
> Ever asked a shop assistant for help only to find you've asked another
> shopper if they can show you where the K.Y. jelly is kept. If  you are not
> obviously blind, the person concerned is going to think  you are a crazed
> loon! Always best to go to the counter and ask.  Which reminds me, I once
> had to ask a shop assistant in Boots to show  me where the condoms were.
> Even though I had a white Cane, she shyly  told me that they were "just
> over
> there sir". Well, having conjured  up the nerve to ask where they were, I
> wasn't going to be put off by  this vague answer so I asked her to show me
> where exactly they were.  She did this, perhaps a little unwillingly but
> then of course I had  to ask about what sizes they had. By this point, I
> don't know who was  more embarrassed, me or her. Anyway, I obviously ended
> up with some  jumbo sized Durex and was pleasantly surprised to find that
> when used, they smelt of strawberries and bananas.
>
> 8. Those confusing little sashes of stuff you get given with fast food.
> Once, back in my college days, I shared a lovely KFC dinner with a room
> full
> of fellow new students, none of which new me. Convinced I had the Tommy
> Ketchup sashes in my hand, I ripped the corner and proceeded to pour the
> stuff over my chips. It was very stubborn and simply refused to leave its
> paper container. It wasn't until some minutes had passed and a lot of
> strange looks had come my way that I realized I was trying to dispense a
> wet
> wipe on to my fries.
>
> 9. Mistaking mother-in-law for wife.
> Don't worry, it wasn't quite that bad; I mean I might be blind but I can
> still tell a 30-year - old woman from a 55 year old one. Mother in law was
> round our house but sitting in a place she wouldn't usually sit. My wife
> was
> in the room but you know, I just got a bit confused. I sat down on the
> floor
> beside who I thought was my wife but, well, I got it wrong. I started
> fondling my mother in laws thigh. Luckily, she's a good-humoured old dear
> and took it well. I think she quite enjoyed it actually.
>
> 10. Jumping out of your skin.
> What's more embarrassing than someone quietly coming up behind you and
> making you jump by simply asking if you'd like a cup of coffee? To them you
> look like a total nervous wreck but in fact you just didn't see them
> coming.
> The only answer to this is to insist that everyone you work with wears play
> bells just like guide dogs. I've suggested this at work but for some reason
> they are resisting my request.
>
>
>
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